Watch: Tom Brady throws terrible first pitch at Red Sox home opener

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady threw a terrible first pitch before the Boston Red Sox's home opener against the Washington Nationals at Fenway Park on Monday.

Tom Brady's latest off-season headline might be his worst: his opening pitch before the Red Sox's home opener against the Nationals at Fenway Park on Monday was quite, quite bad.

#https://vine.co/v/eudLE1FL1gb

One more time, from the stands:

#https://vine.co/v/eudLt3IQ3A6

Calling it a "one-hopper" even seems generous. The quarterback's pitch hit the dirt about halfway through the left-handed hitters' batting box and didn't even get close to reaching the painted line.

• Is Rob Gronkowski headed to the WWE?

Great scoop by Big Papi, though. And at least Brady took it in stride. Perhaps he'll return to balling with Michael Jordan or to the Bill Belichick heart attack-inducing cliff diving. Or maybe a return to having his kids bury him on the beach would be safer—for all involved.

- Mike Fiammetta