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Friday’s Hot Clicks: Usain Bolt Scores First Two Goals of Professional Soccer Career

The first celebration was classic Bolt, then he busted out a Fortnite dance for the second.

Usain Bolt’s soccer experiment might not be a total disaster

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The fastest man ever is currently trying to make a pro soccer team in Australia. 

Usain Bolt, wearing No. 95 in honor of his world-record 9.58-second 100-meter dash, is on trial with the Central Coast Mariners of the A-League, Australia’s top division. Bolt didn’t do much in his debut with the Mariners on Aug. 31 but his final tuneup before the start of the regular season went much better.

Bolt and the Mariners took on an all-star team of players from Australia’s second-tier league on Friday night (Australia time) and Bolt scored not once but twice. 

The first goal was a legitimately good left-footed strike. The second was a piece of cake after the goalkeeper and a defender knocked each other down. But still, two goals.

The first he celebrated with his classic point, while he went with a Fortnite dance for the second one. 

“I’ve improved in every area I think,” Bolt said.

The season begins next week and the Mariners are faced with the decision of whether to offer Bolt a contract. He certainly did plenty today to make them think about it. 

Saquon Barkley is the only good thing about the Giants

The Giants defense was so bad last night (like it is every day), and in the most frustrating way possible. Eli Manning, as he has for the past several years, never threw the ball farther than he could spit. It was boring that at one point in the first half the fans started booing loudly. 

But hey! They’ve got Saquon Barkley, who can do things like this!

Sometimes it’s possible for your seats to be too good

How would you like to be sitting in the front row, enjoying the game, only to suddenly find yourself with a pane of glass in your lap? Look closely and you’ll notice that it knocked one guy’s hat off his head. I also like how one of the fans ended up assisting with the repairs. 

Where to get free beer today

MillerCoors executives must have been doing backflips when the Rockies won the NL Wild Card Game to face the Brewers in the NLDS because it meant they could hype up the series as a Milwaukee vs. Denver/Miller vs. Coors matchup, even though they’re part of the same company. Anyway, Miller won this particular matchup and won free beer for people in Milwaukee. There are a total of 138 bars in the Milwaukee area giving away free beer on Friday, which happens to be the same day that the NLCS against the Dodgers begins. See the full list here.  

Bits & Pieces

... Soccer superstar Carlos Tevez says he’d rather watch golf on TV than even the best soccer game. ... I can’t articulate exactly why but I loved this story about going on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.” ... The guy who ran the disastrous Fyre Festival (really just people paying thousands of dollars to get stranded on an Island in the Bahamas) is going to jail for six years. ... Kanye West’s visit to the White House was so bizarre Stephen A. Smith couldn’t even find the words to describe it

Vince Carter is almost 42 and still making this look easy

Ron Artest gives a good X’s and O’s breakdown

One of life’s great mysteries

This is a rocket-powered dog

Even this guy’s subconscious hates the Yankees

Why doesn’t every sport do this?

What a goal!

There were some great goals in the USA-Colombia friendly, too

Parenting done right

This is my kind of police chase

[youtube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_7qED08Wi8]

If you ever find yourself with an opportunity to break into Kanye’s phone

Did you know Shaq forced an NBA rule change?

You really have to trust your kicker to let him do this

Now that’s a golf shot

Imagine having to play with this guy

Touring the country in a Formula1 car

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.