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Tuesday’s Hot Clicks: Five Landing Spots for Nathan Peterman

Football didn’t work out for Nathan Peterman, so let’s play the role of guidance counselor and suggest a new career path. 

What does Nathan Peterman do now?

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At long last, the Bills have cut quarterback Nathan Peterman, whose impressively awful stat line looks like this after eight appearances (four of them starts): 52.3% completion rate, 4.2 yards per attempt, three touchdowns, 12 interceptions.

Though he tried his best, NFL football clearly wasn’t for Peterman. But he’s only 24 so he’s got his whole life ahead of him, which is why I’d like to play the role of guidance counselor and suggest a few alternative career paths.

1. The CFL — Canada is spitting distance from Buffalo and its football league is full of quarterbacks who never stood a chance in the NFL. Jeremiah Masoli was second in the league in passing yards per game this season. Johnny Manziel was 10th!

2. Baseball — Hey, it worked for failed NFL quarterback Tim Tebow. 

3. Goldman Sachs — Peterman earned an MBA in his time at Pitt and I’m sure he’d relish the opportunity to work somewhere deemed “too big to fail.”

4. Hot Clicks fill-in — It would be nice for me not to have to wake up early one or two days a week. 

5. Faking his own death, stealing someone’s identity and going back to college — Peterman was a good college player. Maybe he just needs to dominate the ACC again to get his confidence back before he can return to the NFL as Peter Nathan. 

A’s pitcher comes to the rescue

A’s starter Daniel Mengden was among a group of Houston residents who helped rescue a pair of puppies that fell through a storm drain. 

“It was just kind of dumb luck,” Mengden told MLB.com. “I was driving home from working out this morning and noticed some people were outside their cars, kind of blocking the road. I went up to them and they said they’d been trying to get these puppies out.”

Mengden made sure didn’t stray too far until professional rescuers could arrive. 

The best of SI

Oklahoma State’s Mike Gundy went on a borderline nonsensical rant about “snowflakes” and “liberalism” and why players transfer. ... Does it really matter when an NFL team fires a coordinator in the middle of the season? ... Eli Manning actually looked good in the Giants’ win over the Niners!

Around the sports world

People drive, bike and take the train across the river into New Jersey just to place sports bets and then turn right back around. ... DeMar DeRozan found out he’d been traded to the Spurs while he was in the parking lot of a Jack in the Box. ... The world’s most daring surfers all flock to a small fishing village in Portugal where the locals once believed the waves were too deadly to mess with. ... The Rams-Chiefs game next Monday night in Mexico City has one of the highest over/unders in Vegas history. ... The Warriors are selling tickets to get into the arena but without a view of the court. ... A Gainesville man stole the Florida Gators’ injury cart and took it on a joyride.

Markell Fultz’s shooting motion is like Charles Barkley’s golf swing now

I deeply apologize for not including this yesterday

I’m not the biggest fan of fighting in hockey but this is a big one

Jason Witten is going to replace Delilah

The Warriors in-fighting is starting

Kevin Durant was not happy with Draymond Green after losing to the Clippers. 

Not sports

Marvel comics creator Stan Lee has died at age 95. ... The final episode of Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown aired Sunday. ... A new Toy Story sequel is coming out and it includes a new character.

Mike Francesa could not care less about Stan Lee dying

This definitely deserved to win the world championship of magic

Coming this spring, a live action Pokemon movie

Alex Trebek has a hell of a conspiracy theory about the Canadian prime minister

Dave Chappelle with an all-time photobomb

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.