Saturday Awards at the PGA Championship, From a Participation Trophy to a Comeback Player
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — It’s time to get serious. The PGA Championship heads to Sunday’s finale at mighty Oak Hill with a slew of possibilities. The Van Cynical Report takes a look at what the hell happened during Saturday’s water-logged third round and hands out a few honors …
The Which One is Eminem Award: Seldom have so many golfers been seen wearing their hats backwards. It’s a bad-weather golf thing. In the rain, water runs off the brim and drops on or near a golfer’s ball when he’s trying to putt. The solution is to turn the cap around. Justin Rose, a 42-year-old Englishman, was asked about doing it on the 17th green. “It makes me feel cool,” he said. “Young. Hip.” What is it the kids say today? Right … groovy.
Justin Rose, age 42, was just another one of the cool kids with his hat backwards on Saturday at Oak Hill.
Jamie Germano/USA TODAY Network
Best Block Party: The music hasn’t stopped playing yet for California-based club pro Michael Block, 46, the story of the tournament. He shot his third consecutive round of even-par 70, settled in at ninth place, six off the lead and somewhere around 500-to-1 odds to win. He continues to be the underdog the Rochester galleries love rooting for. Block isn’t lucky, he’s good. He made shortish birdie putts at 14 and 15, negating a bad double bogey at the 6th, then played a wicked smart run-up shot onto the 16th green, pin-high, and bad-assedly (a new word just invented) ripped a driver off the deck at the 17th that ran onto the green. Block parred the last three holes and even made a run at birdie at 18. Just incredible.
He even did a CBS walk-and-talk interview with Jim Nantz and the crew. As a club pro, Block said, you have to handle every conceivable situation. “You’ve got a lawyer telling you how to grow grass and an accountant telling you the burger wasn’t cooked right,” Block said. Block’s round may have been even better than Brooks Koepka’s 66, all things considered. Although my burger was badly overdone.
The Lucky Charms Shot of the Day: It came at the 7th hole. Scottie Scheffler (you may remember him for earlier leading this tournament) drove into the left rough. Brooks Koepka had been in a similar spot, opted to lay up to the fairway rather than try to hit it under a tree but over the creek. Scheffler went for it but his sizzling dying quail shot splashed into the water … and back out onto the fairway on the other side. It was a huge break, even though Scheffler still made bogey, his fourth in the first eight holes. “That would have been a kick in the gut for sure,” said Scheffler. Or as we say outside of Texas, Not good.
The Participation Trophy: Here’s one category where Phil Mickelson tops Tiger Woods. Making the PGA Championship cut was Mickelson’s 100th major cut made. Tiger has 91. It was Phil’s 27th PGA cut made, tying him with Raymond Floyd and Jack Nicklaus. “It just shows how old I am,” Mickelson said, “and how many years I’ve been playing.” One of the amazing parts of the Nicklaus legacy was how long he played so well. Not that I’m comparing Phil to Jack. That would indicate I don’t know jack.
The Mongolian Reversal Award: Goes to Padraig Harrington who tacked a back-nine 32 onto his front-nine 43. Don’t congratulate him for not giving up, that’s what these guys are paid to do. But he did admit that after the turn, all he was trying to do was break 80. “I’m probably not allowed to say that,” he joked. Your secret is safe here, where no one will see it. Except Alexa, that spying little you-know-what.
The New York State of Mind Peace Prize: Apparently, it’s not just fans at Bethpage Black who are a little, let’s say, rambunctious. Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau, two LIV Golf defectors, caught a significant flurry of boos when they were introduced on the first tee. Boos are seldom heard in the fantasy world of golf, which alarmed Captain Nice Guy Nantz of CBS. “Not a warm welcome,” Nantz said. Nice going, Rochester. You have offended Jim Nantz’s sense of fairness. I’m afraid you’ll have to be banished.
The Shot of the Day For the Wrong Reason: Nobody got off to a more unusual start than Jordan Spieth. He pulled his opening drive left over the trees … and right into an area fenced off for portable bathrooms. It was all teed up for comedy time. Michael Collins of ESPN called it “a stinky shot” on the Matty and the Caddie telecast. Well-known golf instructor Michael Breed tweeted a photo (courtesy of the PGA Tour) of an overhead look at the port-o-johns with a line drawn showing where Spieth’s ball landed. Breed added, “O.K., so is this the definition of taking relief?” Apparently, Spieth really hit the crap out of that tee shot. Add your punchline nominee here:
Tweet of the Day: All right, let’s give this high honor to Breed. Quick thinking and pretty clean. Fun for the whole family (for those who have families).
Tweet of the Day That Never Would’ve Happened if This Was a PGA Tour Event: The picture Breed re-tweeted. Pretty sure the PGA Tour hierarchy doesn’t have a sense of humor when it comes to product image and it certainly isn’t into bathroom humor or port-o-potty photos. If it is, well, then you can pull my finger.
The Captain Crunch Globe: At the short, uphill par-4 14th, Cam Davis launched a high-arching missile that found the front left corner of the green but Canadian Taylor Pendrith absolutely crushed one that landed mid-green and rolled to the back, setting up a two-putt birdie. (Bryson DeChambeau was not considered for this award because only normal Earthlings were eligible. He does get honorable mention for hitting into the twosome ahead right off the first tee.)
The Great White (North) Shock: Canada’s superior ball-striker Corey Conners hit what he thought was a pretty good shot from the fairway bunker at the 16th hole. After he made contact, he looked toward the green to see where it went. Then he looked left to his caddie, then back to the green and then … uh-oh. A search ensued and finally, Conners's low liner was found to have burrowed its way under the bunker lip. Conners hadn’t made a bogey all day and was one ahead of Brooks Koepka at the time. He got a drop from an embedded lie but still made a double bogey. How do you say, “Oh, geez!” in Canadian? What? Oh. That is Canadian.
Comeback Player of the Day: There were a lot of contenders for this award, including Rory McIlroy, who gamely rallied after three front-side bogeys to salvage a second straight 69 to keep alive his hopes of winning. The winner is Eric (Remember Me From Thursday Night?) Cole, who was an early leader but shot a second-round 74 and dropped off the leaderboard. He posted a steady 70 and was parked in a six-way tie for 10th.
Best Wicked Nickname Award: The Van Cynical Report heard from a former Rochester native, now retired and transplanted in Florida. He enjoyed watching Saturday’s miserable weather on TV and doesn’t miss it. Because of the weather, he said, he has always referred to the PGA Championship’s host city as “Rotten-chester.” When you repeat that, make sure to cackle at the end like a super-villain.
Finest Cynical Quote Ribbon: The hands-down winner is Rory McIlroy, who played through the heaviest part of the afternoon downpour and made a veteran (although obvious) move at the 15th tee. His ball was teed up, he was getting ready to hit and then the rain got serious and turned into a monsoon. He picked up his ball, went back to the safety of his caddie’s umbrella and waited for a respite. As he walked into the media interview tent, still five shots off the lead, McIlroy said, “Keep raining.” And while you’re at it, rain gods, could you turn the raindrops into asbestos-lined lead pellets and/or radioactive uranium? That’d be very useful to help thin the field of contenders. Cheers, your pal, Rory.
The Jerry Maguire Cup: Sure, it’s out of their control but CBS couldn’t help but interrupt the PGA Championship with some cash-grab information. In the middle of the telecast of the year’s second major championship, it firmly planted the FedEx Cup standings on the screen (probably a contractual obligation). The Van Cynical Report doesn’t recall that happening during the Masters telecast (but is prepared to stand corrected, although it currently is in a sitting position, tray table back in its original position). Too bad golf can’t take a one-week break from crass commercialism. What a shame. Oh, by the way, this week’s winner scores $3.15 million (exactly how much the VCR staff needs to get back to even lifetime on lottery tickets).
The Delay of Game Penalty Trophy: Every savvy viewer watching knew this tale wasn’t going to end well. Lee Hodges hit a putt on the 17th green that stopped tantalizingly on the lip of the cup in a gravity-defying position. Jordan Spieth, playing with him, said it was going to drop. Hodges smartly waited. Then Hodges waited some more, not as smartly. Finally, it dropped after an estimated 35 seconds. But he’d far exceeded the ten seconds he was allowed once he reached the cup. After the round, he drew a one-shot penalty—basically the extra stroke he would’ve needed to hole out. After all the slow play in pro golf, this is the one that finally rates a penalty?
Best New Nickname: A serious golf fan contacted The Report about the penalty, by the way. He used the voice-activated app on his phone to send a text and it interpreted Lee Hodges as “Lehigh Juice.” We’re going with it, pass it on.
Best Belmont Stakes Prediction: Beware of a long-shot winner for the final leg of horse racing’s Triple Crown. Goes by the name of Lehigh Juice. Shhh.