t) The unknown will be forgotten by Saturday. (Horgan finished 56th.)
u) The maddening par-3, 107-yard 7th at Pebble will ruin another good man. Three years ago San Francisco Archbishop William Swing made a hole in one on the 7th. "Son of a bitch!" the archbishop screamed. "I've been waiting my whole life to make that shot!" Two years ago he shot a six.
v) The party for the tournament volunteers will be, as always, the best in golf. And free. (This year it starred Charlie Daniels, Glen Campbell, Tommy Smothers, Vince Gill and John Denver.)
w) Smart caddies will abandon the pros in favor of nice juicy jillionaires. (That's what John Daly's caddie, Greg Rita, did. While Daly took a week off, Rita took Packer. "Are you kidding?" one caddie said at the beginning of the week. "If he [Packer] wins this thing, Rita will make more than the winner." Rita wasn't saying afterward, but he was smiling largely.)
x) Smothers will offer essential golf advice. This time he announced his new book, The 27 Most Important Things to Remember at the Moment of Impact.
y) Whenever the U.S. Open is scheduled for Pebble Beach, as it is this year, the USGA will see how the pros tore up the course (four 64s this year alone) and panic. It will stop watering the greens, mowing the rough and feeding the sea lions. Or better yet, the USGA will simply blow up O'Meara's house.
z) The crystal will be the only thing unharmed.