Wimbledon champ Andre Agassi
Was unable to dress so Las Vegassy.
Ninety-two left quite a legacy:
The Fabulous Five from Michigan
Hope Duke won't fillet "em like fish again.
The Pens won the Cup,
A flag flew downside-up,
And Jordan was granted his wish again.
Da Bulls were da NBA champs;
Michael lit up da Blazers like lamps.
Orlando took Shaq,
Paid him serious jack,
Now he's licking opponents like stamps.
Magic and Larry retired,
Admired by those they inspired.
And Dan Biasone,
Who'll forever be known
As the Shot-Clock Inventor, expired.
Al Unser Jr. won Indy,
The Broad Street Bullies won Lindy,
And the lesson they'll teach
Now at brisk Pebble Beach
Is a Kite always flies when its windy.
Fay Vincent banished Steve Howe,
But somehow Howe never said, "Ciao."
And the owner of Schottzie
Denied she's a Nazi.
For baseball, two kicks in the trou.
Super Bowl headline: SKINS WIN IT.
It was over within the first minute:
Thurman T. lost his hat,
And stranger than that,
When he found it, his head was still in it.
In college, who's No. 1 rated?
The answer is always debated.
The Tide and the 'Canes
Won all of their games
Without having livestock castrated.
The Heisman went to Gino Torretta,
But Marshall Faulk, we all know you're betta.
As for Garrison Hearst,
It could have been worse.
At least he received a letta swetta.
Lil E. Tee, phone home.
While you're at it, phone Manon Rheaume.
She was in goal
Before you were a foal
Or a gleam in the eye of this poem.