SI Vault
 
THANK HEAVEN FOR DANNY
Jack McCallum
April 20, 1981
His sublime basketball career at BYU over, Danny Ainge has been declared the messiah at third for the Blue Jays
Decrease font Decrease font
Enlarge font Enlarge font
April 20, 1981

Thank Heaven For Danny

His sublime basketball career at BYU over, Danny Ainge has been declared the messiah at third for the Blue Jays

View CoverRead All Articles View This Issue

Setting: Heaven's gate, decades from now. St. Peter clutches a clipboard and nervously checks his watch. A crowd of dignitaries and a group of cherubic cheerleaders wearing white sweaters emblazoned with the letter A are also on hand. Two older men wearing varsity sweaters stand patiently at St. Peter's side. St. Peter calls for quiet. The sound of a basketball being dribbled off in the distance is heard. It gets closer until, suddenly, a tall, thin figure with a boyish face and wearing a Toronto Blue Jays cap appears out of the clouds.

ST. PETER: Danny Ainge! How are you, my son? We've been waiting for you.

AINGE [shyly]: Thank you.

ST. PETER: Got a lot of your old Brigham Young teammates up here, Dan. A few Blue Jays, too.

AINGE: That's nice to hear.

ST. PETER: We wanted to arrange a thematic kind of thing for you, maybe some sort of BYU reunion, but they like to keep things nonsectarian up here.

AINGE: Oh, I wouldn't have wanted any special...

ST. PETER: NOW one thing that I was able to get through the board was a little cheering section [pointing to the girls]. I call them [grandly] Danny's Ainge-els! Ainge-els, you get it? Not bad, eh?

AINGE: It's very kind, sir, very kind.

ST. PETER [pointing to the two older men]: And, Danny, here are two gentlemen I want you to meet, Frank Merriwell and Jack Armstrong. They'd like to—how do you say?—slap five with you. AINGE [shaking hands with them]: You're the guys sportswriters kept confusing me with. I'm glad to meet you.

Continue Story
1 2 3 4 5