Designated Read: Why, hello, Ray Graham

• Pittsburgh 44, South Florida 17: Where last night's prognostications were correct: The Pitt-USF game was indeed not a close one! Where last night's

• Pittsburgh 44, South Florida 17: Where last night's prognostications were correct: The Pitt-USF game was indeed not a close one! Where last night's prognostications were wholly inaccurate: The Bulls did not, in fact, win! Here, yesterday: "The only pairing that comes close to an interesting on-field matchup, on paper, is the guy in the No. 1 Panthers jersey, Ray Graham, against USF’s 15th-ranked rushing defense. " Graham, last night: 226 yards and two rushing touchdowns. (RECAP | BOX)

• Houston 49, UTEP 42: I'm not bragging. I'm evangelizing: Tune into UTEP games when I tell you to, all right? You'll see magic happen. It's simple math to determine whether a given Miners game is worthy of your time: If their opponent is very good, or very bad, you'll want to watch. Anything in between, skip. But this team plays up to good competition and down to bad like nobody else. Oh, and Houston had 710 yards of offense. Y'know. Just Houston, doing that Houston thing. No big deal. (RECAP | BOX)

• Jackson State 58, Texas Southern 13: Casey Therriault got his justified game back after last year's five-sack outing against those other Tigers with a 300-yard, four-touchdown performance for JSU.

• Driven to drink, but best not to drive: Oklahoma freshman linebacker Londell Taylor was arrested on misdemeanor DUI charges Saturday night following the OU-Mizzou game.

• A Holgotree has no roots: Considering he's living in a hotel room while his house is being built, Dana Holgorsen probably wouldn't be able to get a West Virginia drivers license even if he tried. But sure, let's bury that point behind the jump of a two-page article about his lack of said license. Naturally, the article carefully mentions how much money WVU is paying Holgorsen, and Holgorsen's affinity for casino action.

• Can you blame him? Instead of traveling with the team and losing to North Texas, injured Indiana running back Darius Willisstayed home last weekend and competed in a pro wrestling match. He'll catch some flak for this, but if you're a player on this Indiana team and thinking in terms of future earnings potential, well...

• Giveth, taketh: Going out on a bit of a limb here, but Maryland should be fine against Towson this weekend even without the services of two defenders with bum ankles. Alabama's outlook is slightly less rosy, with the absence of C.J. Mosely against Florida due to an elbow injury. And Auburn's already-shaky defense takes another hit with Dee Ford undergoing season-ending back surgery.

• Roster dance! Don't look for Lache Seastrunk to suit up for Baylor this season, following a denied eligibility appeal. And nobody's quite sure what's going on with Ohio State's Jaamal Berry, but his status is up in the air for Saturday's Buckeyes-Spartans tilt after a reported assault on a fellow student.

Friday whimsy:

COA Q&A

two years' probation

they got this page to look like an actual letter

coach less and backslap more

offensive line outweighs

flaunts his days in Atlanta

marijuana kept him out of the NFL

lazily flexes his claws

was raised on a cattle ranch

is the keyuuutest

smoking can make you a better

he and the Rebels navigate the hostile terrain of Fresno

Les, you MADMAN