A Thousand Points of Spite: Week 10 judginess

Best escape attempt by a dangerously powerful live mascot.Ralphie's good for one of these in at least one nationally televised game a season, and it always

Best escape attempt by a dangerously powerful live mascot.Ralphie's good for one of these in at least one nationally televised game a season, and it always makes for good television. Best of all: The entire dress rehearsal for her shenanigans is available in BuffoVision!

Best uniform change-up.Iowa's USA NUMBER ONE helmets, created to honor Veterans Day, delighted viewers coast to coast and, let's not kid ourselves, totally fueled the Hawkeyes' upset of No. 13 Michigan.

Most thankless job well done. The Maryland captains tasked with selecting a new Terps uniform combination every week hit on the most inoffensive getup the football team has worn this year. Do you not love imagining these burly guys sitting around a table arguing whether the turtle shell helmet goes better with the flag cleats?

Most horrifying stat. "Ohio State's Braxton Miller dropped to pass 17 times and was sacked six times. By Indiana." [courtesy Bill Connelly]

Most promising new "____ing" meme.TOBing has its own requisite Tumblr, has filtered into mainstream media outlets already, and its appeal is universal. Who hasn't  stood "Feet shoulder-width apart, arms crossed over the chest, a look of distant concern on one's face" when observing NC State football, at one time or another?

Most loving tribute to a classic meme.Nick Sabanpays homage to Harrison Ford's legendary turn in Extraordinary Measures, and on a night when he knew a fifth of the television sets in the country would be trained on him, too! Such a giver, that guy.

Special Jury Prize For Achievement In Tailgate Innovation. The Louisiana schools with flatscreens in coffins are to be revered, of course, but this TV-in-a-tailgate (no, like, An Actual Tailgate) is infinitely more portable.

Best sudden arboreal stop. Georgia tight end Aron White was, for a fleeting moment, part of the hallowed Sanford Stadium hedges themselves, becoming entangled after catching a touchdown pass from Aaron Murray and hurtling directly into the field border during the Dawgs' romp over New Mexico State. The marimba he hurdled is reportedly unharmed.

Best hustle.

Pinstripe Bowl scout

obtained a press credential