[The] U [is] MAD; more Designated Reads

Nowhere does it say that Miami's Donna Shalala DIDN'T write her statement while wearing these glasses. (AP) • Donna Shalala, with the candlestick and maybe

Nowhere does it say that Miami's Donna Shalala DIDN'T write her statement while wearing these glasses. (AP)

• Donna Shalala, with the candlestick and maybe also an axe-gun, in the conservatory. Miami has received its NCAA notice of allegations! There's an LOIC charge in there, and it's phrased this way so frequently that we now think of it as The Dreaded Lack Of Institutional Control, like that's its full name. Anyway, Miami president Donna Shalala has some thoughts, and is dispensing them with open contempt for the NCAA and its process. Here's our favorite one:

Many of the charges brought forth are based on the word of a man who made a fortune by lying. The NCAA enforcement staff acknowledged to the University that if Nevin Shapiro, a convicted con man, said something more than once, it considered the allegation "corroborated"—an argument which is both ludicrous and counter to legal practice.

Followup reading: John Infante examines why a summary disposition in this case is an unlikely outcome.

• Realignment tidbit, grudgingly dispensed.

https://twitter.com/TeamSpeedKills/status/303933503559565313

• There is room for all in the rolling of the tide. As in football, BBQ nachos and houndstooth underthings, Alabama leads the nation in oversigning, according to Matt Hinton. The schools immediately following the Tide on that leaderboard may surprise the casual observer, however: Washington and Virginia?

• Coach-hirin' season! What uncountable hours of lost productivity will be restored to the college football Twittersphere with the return of Ron Prince to our beautiful game ... Kim Dameron will serve as DC at Louisiana Tech ... and Kirk Ferentz ain't going nowhere, nohow.

• Roster blotter.Senorise Perry, healing up ... Barrington Scott, heading out ... three current and two former Blue Raidersface assorted charges following a nightclub fight.

• Tweet of the day (DOUBLESHOT!):

https://twitter.com/russellathbowl/status/303953344312000513

https://twitter.com/russellathbowl/status/303953708058808320

Misc.

Texas A&M's stadium upgrades

plenty of V-neck looks

Aggies

the car would not roll