Shane Beamer Turns Jefferson into the 'Bill Brasky' of College Football

References to difficulty simulating Hogs' QB harkens back to old SNL skit

FAYETTEVILLE – Over in South Carolina they're having a tough time trying to figure out what to do about Arkansas quarterback KJ Jefferson.

Apparently, no one can KJ Jefferson quite the way KJ Jefferson can KJ Jefferson and that's a problem for Gamecocks coach Shane Beamer when it comes to preparation.

"Is there a way to actually mimic a guy who's 6'3' and 240 like he is?"

Shane Beamer on KJ Jefferson: "No. There's not. We would have to take, I don't know who, one of our defensive ends and make him a quarterback." 👀👀 #WPS pic.twitter.com/J2mGBtqUts

— Courtney Mims (@MimsCourtney) September 6, 2022

Over in the Carolinas, Jefferson has become the Bill Brasky of the modern era. For those of you who aren't familiar with Bill Brasky, he's the subject of an old series of Saturday Night Live skits featuring Will Ferrell and a group of various drinking buddies that sometimes included John Goodman.

A few drinks in, talk would turn to Brasky and all of his accomplishments, and every couple of drinks he would get bigger and more impressive in the things he had done in life. The smallest Brasky mention I can recall was 6-4, 280 pounds. 

Two drinks later and he was up to 6-8, 340, and at one point may have even topped out around 10-feet tall. Unfortunately, parts of the skit are not family friendly and one or two haven't aged well since the 1990s or I'd include a video or two in the story.

That being said, it's pretty easy to imagine three or four Gamecocks fans sipping their way through a similar scenario at a local Columbia tap house. 

MARK: "Hey, you boys ever heard of a quarterback by the name of KJ Jefferson?"

DARIUS: "Sure have, and he's one tough son of a gun!"

DEAN: "I hear he's 6-3, 245."

JIM: "I know KJ Jefferson! He delivered my baby. Ran right out in front of that hospital and tossed him in a perfect spiral. Little Stevie landed in my arms three years later when I went out to check my mail one day. Never had to change a single diaper! To KJ Jefferson!"

ALL: "To KJ Jefferson!"

DARIUS: "I know KJ Jefferson. I heard he once threw a ball so hard it went through Alabama linebacker Drew Sanders's chest and Treylon Burks caught it for a touchdown with his heart stuck to the ball still beating."

MARK: [Checks Bama website on phone] Poor fellow's not on the Alabama roster anymore. Must be true."

DARIUS: "To Drew Sanders. May he rest in peace."

ALL: "To Drew Sanders."

MARK: "I know KJ Jefferson! He's like 7-6, 435 pounds. I once saw him dragging the entire Ole Miss defense on a run up the middle. Ol' Lane Kiffin got frustrated and cleared his bench sending guys to take down Jefferson. Then a bus load of Tennessee fans were passing through Oxford on the way back from a game in Baton Rouge and they saw what was happening. This lady named Frida ordered everybody off the bus and they ran into Vaught Hemmingway with an entire Costco worth of mustard. They used catapults made of 1950s hair curlers and pelted Jefferson with all they had but he still didn't go down. To KJ Jefferson!"

ALL: "To KJ Jefferson!"

DARIUS: "One tough son of a gun."

Of course, Jefferson isn't a tall tale told among old pals at the local watering hole. He may feel like he increases in size as the game goes along and Jefferson just keeps getting better, but he's human just like the rest of us. 

Except Nick Saban. Pretty certain he's not human.

There's no doubt Jefferson's difficult to imitate in practice. There's never been a quarterback like him in Arkansas history and there may never be another.

Unfortunately for Arkansas, Jefferson bleeds and hurts just like everyone else. If he ever goes down in a game, the Hogs will find him as hard to replace as Beamer does to duplicate.

However, until then, I know KJ Jefferson. He's 6-9, 367 pounds and runs a 3.9 forty. 

To KJ Jefferson.

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