Kansas Jayhawk Player Ratings to the Theme of Scariest Desert Animals

Kansas wins its fifth straight, this time against TCU in Fort Worth.

Kansas got some revenge against TCU after the Horned Frogs absolutely drubbed the Jayhawks in Lawrence. This wasn't quite the same kind of beat down, but man, was it satisfying.  You know what isn't satisfying though?  Looking at that monstrosity that they call a basketball court down there in Ft. Worth. It's hideous.  I know that they're going for a lizard shin look, but man, it's hard on the eyes. But, the TCU Horned Frogs are named after a desert dwelling animal so we might as well rate the performances of the players to the scariest animals that live in a desert. And as always, here’s how we rate them:

Contents

1. 5 Stars: Rattlesnakes
2. 4.5 Stars: Scorpions
3. 4 Stars: Gila Monsters
4. 3.5 Stars: Tarantulas
5. 3 Stars: Texas Horned Lizard
6. 2 Stars: Camel
7. 1 Star: Desert Tortoise
8. Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

Memorial No Star: Named after former KU walk-on Chris Teahan and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.

5 Stars: Rattlesnakes

There is no way that anything in a desert (besides running out of water) could be more terrifying than hearing the rattle of a nearby rattlesnake. I mean, I guess if you're talking about a Breaking Bad or early Vegas gangster situation in the desert, sure, but we're talking animals here, and nothing is more panic inducing than a rattlesnake.

No one was as good as a rattlesnake is scary.

4.5 Stars: Scorpions

I couldn’t even tell you how paranoid of scorpions I would be if I had to live in the desert. I’d literally shake out my shoes if I even just took one off to adjust my sock. No thanks to scorpions dwelling in my house. That’s a swift no.

Gradey Dick will get all the accolades in this one, but to me, Kevin McCullar was the best player on the floor. That block and tie up late in the game basically sealed it for KU.  When KU has needed defensively intensity the most, he and Dajuan Harris have really risen to the occasion in the last two games.  Kevin finished with 15 points, seven rebounds, three assists, and two blocks. He was great.

Gradey Dick gets some accolades right here! He got Kansas off to that hot start, scoring ten of the team's first 12.  His six rebounds could've been more than that with his tips and his ability to keep a play alive as well. He even played composed when he was playing with foul trouble. Finished with a game high 19.

4 Stars: Gila Monsters

While not nearly as intimidating as the rattlesnake or the scorpion, the Gila Monster is nearly as venomous. Plus, that unique orange and black skin is pretty cool.

Our floor general is something else. He put in a great shift against TCU on both ends. Dajuan Harris kept Mike Miles at bay as best he could and led the offense with aplomb.  Juan scored six points, but added eight assists and five rebounds. It is a crime that this guy isn't on the Bob Cousey Award list, an absolute crime.

3.5 Stars: Tarantulas

These guys are a lot scarier looking than they are actually dangerous but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be running as fast as I could if I saw one of these on a hike because you can bet I’d beat some personal bests if I ever saw one.

KJ Adams struggled and shined in this one. On one hand, he was open quite frequently because of TCU's emphasis on guarding Wilson. On the other hand, he missed shots that he usually makes. He did a better than expected job on TCU's bigs and finished with six points, five boards, and foul trouble.

Ernest Udeh continues to give Kansas quality minutes.  And that little reach in where he saved a KU possession and prevented a TCU fast break was really important.  His hands are really quick and he has become an important piece in the KU puzzle. Finished with six points.

3 Stars: Texas Horned Lizard

Not scary, but TCU’s logo is really cool and unique.

Jalen Wilson has earned the benefit of the doubt from me and TCU did guard the Kansas star quite well. He was ice cold from the floor but contributed in different ways including absorbing a lot of TCU's defensive scrutiny, leaving other guys open.  He also finished with a game high 13 rebounds showing that just because the ball wasn't falling doesn't mean that his head was out of the game. That's a sign of a great team player.

Bobby Pettiford and MJ Rice both land here as well.  They both finished with two points, but I thought Rice was better.  His minutes came in replacement of Joseph Yesufu, and Kansas looked better for it.

2 Stars: Camel

Not scary at all. In fact, camels are some of the coolest animals out there. No other animal on this list is as helpful to humans as the camel.

No one was a two.

1 Star: Desert Tortoise

So unintimidating as to be actually cuddly (don’t cuddle with a desert tortoise).

No one here either.

Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:

Joe Yesufu.