Kansas vs Baylor: Player Ratings to the Theme of Friends

Despite being a man short, Kansas escaped with a win against Baylor.

It wouldn’t be a true season of ratings posts if we didn’t take at least one look at pop culture. So today, we look at the popular TV sitcom Friends. Along with being one of the most popular shows of all time, it also has some of the most memorable characters of all time, for good and bad. 

A good friend always makes their friends feel at home when they come over to their house. Feeling welcome is always nice, but making your guest feel "normal", like they do at their own home, is the sweet spot of friendship. Scott Drew always has that familiar feeling when he plays Kansas at Allen Fieldhouse. Giving your friend that comfortable feeling, and in the case of Drew, that feeling is losing, is where a true friend shines. In this manner, Kansas has been one of the best friends over the past 21 seasons. Scott Drew knows how he's going to feel when he enters, and ultimately when he leaves Allen Fieldhouse. So, in honor of KU's unique brand of friendship, let’s rate the players to the theme of characters from Friends.

Here’s a recap of the way we do things around here, but feel free to fast forward using the table of contents.

Contents

1. 5 Stars: Phoebe
2. 4.5 Stars: Chandler
3. 4 Stars: Joey
4. 3.5 Stars: The guest stars
5. 3 Stars: Rachel
6. 2.5 Stars: Janice
7. 2 Stars: Monica
8. 1 Star: Ross

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.

2.5 Stars: Almost a three

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

5 Stars: Phoebe

To me, Phoebe is the best character. She’s the one that I’d like to be friends with the most, so I think that has to be the top qualifier. She has the coolest backstory as well. But one thing seems almost certain, if this were real life, she wouldn’t be hanging out with at least a few of the other characters.

No one was a five star.

4.5 Stars: Chandler

RIP Matthew Perry. Clearly the funniest of the crew, but also the most relatable in many ways. He always had a job that he hated, he couldn’t score with women (even when he was locked in an ATM vestibule with one), and when you combine street wit and book knowledge, probably the smartest of the gang as well.

No one was as good as Chandler in this one.

4 Stars: Joey

The man likes a sandwich, so I like Joey.

KJ Adams was easily the best Jayhawk in this one, shooting six of seven from the field and finishing with 13 points. Plus, the joy he plays with is evident and his enthusiasm is contagious. If you don’t love KJ Adams, you’re not a Kansas fan.

3.5 Stars: The guest stars

Brad Pitt, Reece Witherspooon, Bruce Willis, Aiysha Tyler, Tom Selleck, George Clooney, Hank Azaria, Elle Macpherson, Jean Claude Van Damme, the list goes on. Maybe this should’ve just been the five star.

Dajuan Harris is one tough dude. He rolled his ankle late in the game and came back a hobbled mess, but he still managed to score the basket that gave Kansas their three point cushion. He finished the game with 14 points and five assists.

3 Stars: Rachel

Not a bad character at all, but I’m supposed to believe that someone as attractive as Rachel was always having a hard time with men? Get outta here.

The first three guys land here because they were so wildly inconsistent. The last two are here because there wasn’t enough to judge them on.

Hunter Dickinson was unstoppable but he just couldn’t get some of the easy ones to fall. Shooting the ball 19 times to get to 15 points won’t win any efficiency awards, but a few of those absolutely were three quarters down or touched every inch of rim on the way out.

Johnny Furphy’s six steals, five rebounds, and perfect night at the free throw line (7-7) save him from a lower score. He only shot two of eight from the floor, missing all six triples that he took.

Yes, Nick Timberlake was bad in the last minute, throwing a ball away, missing a game clinching free throw, and completely vacating his defensive responsibilities which could've led to Baylor tying the score on a wide open three. But before that, he was pretty good. He made two crucial threes, leaped high for a few tough boards, and had that steal and dunk. If it wasn’t for his terrible final minute, he would’ve been higher in this one.

Elmarko Jackson had an impressive four steals in the game and Parker Braun scored one basket, a dunk.

2.5 Stars: Janice

Oh. My. Gaaaaaaaawd.

I invented a new star to add Janice but as much as I wanted to put some players here, I couldn’t.

2 Stars: Monica

And now we’re on to the Geller family. Monica wasn’t that bad at the beginning of the show’s run, but the writers took all the neuroticism and amplified it a million times until Monica became unlikeable.

It’s hard winning without your top scorer against a good team and Kansas did that. No one is a two.

1 Star: Ross

And speaking of unlikeable, the more you watch later season Ross, the more despicable this guy is. He’s fine early on, but for the last several seasons, he is unbearable.

No one was as bad as Ross.

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