KANSAS

Kansas vs Cincinnati: Player Ratings to the Theme of Bears and Cats

It's Johnny Furphy and everyone else in our player ratings after KU beat Cincinnati

Derek Noll

Kansas vs Cincinnati: Player Ratings to the Theme of Bears and Cats
Kansas vs Cincinnati: Player Ratings to the Theme of Bears and Cats /
In this story:

The history of the name Bearcats for Cincinnati athletics is a strange one. Long story short, according to their official website, in the early days of college football, Cincinnati had star players named Baehr and Lyon. This quickly transmogrified into Bear-Cat and the nickname has stuck ever since. So in honor of this strange beginning to life as the Bearcats, we’ll rate the player’s performances on fictional cats and bears. A duo theme. What a time to be alive. You’ll find our criteria below but feel free to skip by using the table of contents.

Contents

  1. 5 Stars: Garfield
  2. 4.5 Stars: Fozzie Bear
  3. 4 Stars: Smokey the Bear
  4. 3.5 Stars: The Cat in the Hat
  5. 3 Stars: Tom
  6. 2 Stars: Winnie the Pooh
  7. 1 Star: Boo-boo
  8. Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

Memorial No Star: Named after former KU walk-on Chris Teahan and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.

5 Stars: Garfield

Ah yes, a sarcastic fat orange cat that makes fun of everything and shovels lasagne down his gullet at the speed of light. What’s not to love? And that ravenous eating habit? If you own an orange cat, well, you know.

No one was a five star.

4.5 Stars: Fozzie Bear

Only The Muppets could make a failed stand up comedian one of the most beloved characters in their pantheon of characters.

Johnny Furphy was everything that Kansas needed in this one. He recorded his first ever collegiate double-double in front of his parents, their first time in the cauldron that is Allen Fieldhouse. His eleven rebounds paced the Jayhawks by a wide margin and his three offensive rebounds were half of the team’s total. Furphy finished with 23 points and nailed three of four from outside. A great performance.

4 Stars: Smokey the Bear

The only creature on here that gave only good advice, Smokey the Bear is a national icon and an icon of the National Parks Service. Plus, there’s that hilarious Simpsons episode where Bart talks with an animatronic Smokey with hilarious results.

No one else warranted a high star.

3.5 Stars: The Cat in the Hat

Terrible Mike Myers movie aside, the actual book The Cat in the Hat is a classic. I mean, he even appeared on a US postage stamp in 1999.

Kevin McCullar fits here simply because of the volume of his shots. He hoisted up 17 shots in the game, finishing with twenty points. Eight of his points came from the free throw stripe where he shot 75% but missed a couple of front one and ones. At times, it looked like McCullar wanted to take the game over, but Cincinnati’s size and athleticism wouldn’t allow it. He’s got a few days to get that knee healthy for Iowa State.

KJ Adams took a while to get going, but the KU’s energy man brought that high octane and finished with 11 points and three rebounds.

3 Stars: Tom

Tom and Jerry was hilarious but once, just once, I would have liked to see Tom pull one over on Jerry. Just once.

Normally eight points and eight assists would warrant a higher rating, but the five turnovers were an eyesore. In fact, on a few cases, it looked like Dajuan Harris simply passed the ball to a Bearcat. That said, this assist below is an absolute peach.

Something has felt off about Hunter Dickinson in the last two games. He had ten points and six rebounds in a game where he was riddled with foul trouble for much of the second half.

Parker Braun is a three star as well, but I think he played well in his ten minutes. He didn’t score, but Kansas didn’t look lost or outmatched when he was out there.

Likewise, Elmarko Jackson doesn’t get a three because he was bad, in fact the opposite is true. He had two points and two steals in his 13 minutes and didn’t have a single turnover.

2 Stars: Winnie the Pooh

I’m sure I’ll get flack for this, but I just don’t like Winnie the Pooh. Sure, he sits around all day eating honey with his bare hands while being pantless, but that doesn’t make the cartoons good.

No one was a two star.

1 Star: Boo-boo

Not a huge fan of this guy. Yogi was fine, but Boo-boo seemed like a tagalong.

Not a one star to be found.

Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:

Nick Timberlake and Jamari McDowell played sparingly.

Follow Us: Twitter | Instagram | Discord | The Rock Chalk Podcast

Published
Derek Noll
DEREK NOLL

An avid Jayhawks fan his entire life, Derek graduated from the University of Kansas in 1999 and has been writing about the Jayhawks since 2014, getting his start at Rock Chalk Talk.  He specializes in uniform analysis for basketball and football and offers a humorous take on player performances through Player Ratings posts.

Home/Basketball