KANSAS

Kansas vs TCU: Player Ratings to the Theme of Toasted Stuff

The Jayhawks survived the Horned Frogs, but they were almost toast. So let's rate the players to toasted things.

Derek Noll

Kansas vs TCU: Player Ratings to the Theme of Toasted Stuff
Kansas vs TCU: Player Ratings to the Theme of Toasted Stuff /
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Well, that was close. With KU down by two, Ernest Udeh ripped down a rebound, but in the process, he cleared out Hunter Dickinson’s chin with his elbow. On the ensuing fast break, a TCU player slowed the break and initiated the offense. Once this happened, the officials stopped play, a Flagrant One foul was called, and Kansas went on to win. If Udeh hadn’t used his elbowing the motion of a high clear out or if TCU would’ve continued on the fast break, KU could’ve been toast. With that in mind, we have our topic for today’s ratings.

Unlike when a team gets toasted in a basketball game, when an item gets toasted, it often makes that item more delicious. Maybe this theme is a bit of a stretch, but who cares. It’s that rare ratings post where everything but the one star selection is pretty dang good.

Contents

  1. 5 Stars: Fresh bread, toasted
  2. 4.5 Stars: Tostada
  3. 4 Stars: Marshmallows
  4. 3.5 Stars: Toaster strudel
  5. 3 Stars: Toasted coconut
  6. 2 Stars: Toasted ravioli
  7. 1 Star: Burnt popcorn
  8. Chris Teahan Memorial No-Star:

Skip using the table of contents if you don’t need to re-read the rules, but if you do, here is the criteria of how the players get rated as they do:

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

Memorial No Star: Named after former KU walk-on Chris Teahan and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.

5 Stars: Fresh bread, toasted

Picture it: a thick slice of artisan bread, perfectly toasted to where you have that crispy outside and the perfectly soft interior. Add your choice of topping. Enjoy with a coffee. Life well lived, folks.

Thirty points, eleven rebounds, and the game winning bucket is quite the way to introduce yourself to the conference and Hunter Dickinson did just that. Over the course of the game, Dickinson made 13 of 20 shots (65%), including two of three from behind the three point stripe. And let’s not forget that he canned two free throws after getting elbowed in the face. I’m going to go ahead and guess that if he continues at this rate, Kansas will win plenty of games.

KJ Adams was spectacular in this one. All over the place defensively, he was unlucky on a few occasions where he was whistled for a foul, but he made his presence felt every time TCU had the ball. And on the offensive end? He scored 18 points and six of his ten rebounds were offensive boards. There just can’t be too many players in college basketball that are as fun to watch as KJ when he goes flying into the air. The man was built to dunk.

4.5 Stars: Tostada

See what I did here? In Mexico, a tostada is a toasted tortilla topped with whatever. And you know that whatever you put on there is always delicious. In Spain, tostadas are a breakfast staple of toasted bread, often made into a sandwich. Nothing better than a tostada con Jamón Ibérico y tomate.

After the top two, there is a slide past this spot.

4 Stars: Marshmallows

A good campfire isn’t complete without some toasted marshmallows. Personally, I like to catch my marshmallow on fire, blow it out, peel the char off and eat it, and then repeat the process. It’s double the dessert (which is what we all crave anyway if we’re honest).

Kevin McCullar didn’t shoot it particularly well but he did finish with 16 points and at times, it felt like he was the only Jayhawk to put the ball on the floor and drive. McCullar added five rebounds and three assists to continue to bolster his chances at some individual post-season honors.

3.5 Stars: Toaster strudel

Delicious. But have you eaten a strudel straight from the bakery? A million times better (obviously).

Offensively, Dajuan Harris came alive in the second half as he finished with ten points and eight assists, including the inch perfect pass over the top to Dickinson for the game winner. Dajaun’s fist pump after Hunter made that basket said it all. He’d normally be rated a bit higher for a 10/8 statline, but with no one contributing points besides Adams, Dickinson, and McCullar in the game’s first frame, Harris has to take it upon himself to diversify the offense. Plus, he had five turnovers, a few of which were completely preventable.

3 Stars: Toasted coconut

The ultimate three-star. Either you love coconut or you hate it. I’m in the former category and love it in any form. Toasted up is just fine with me.

Both Johnny Furphy and Nick Timberlake canned an important three for Kansas in the second half, but neither played enough to warrant a higher rating. Furphy scored the only point outside of McCullar, Dickinson, and Adams in the first half when he went one of two from the line, but it was Timberlake with a more complete game of the two. He finished with five points and one rebound, assist, and steal. Furphy had four points and committed four fouls in ten minutes.

2 Stars: Toasted ravioli

This is only here because people from St. Louis think they invented something. We get it, you took a perfectly awesome food and made it less healthy. Great. Now do pizza in a way that’s actually edible to people outside your city.

It felt like an Elmarko Jackson disappearing act. This comes after it looked like the freshman was turning the corner. Hopefully it was just conference jitters that led to his zero points and only two assists.

1 Star: Burnt popcorn

This is the worst. And what’s more, the entire room stinks and takes forever to go away.

No one was as bad as burnt popcorn

Chris Teahan Memorial No-Star:

Jamari McDowell barely played and Parker Braun, outside of a block, didn’t contribute much.

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Derek Noll
DEREK NOLL

An avid Jayhawks fan his entire life, Derek graduated from the University of Kansas in 1999 and has been writing about the Jayhawks since 2014, getting his start at Rock Chalk Talk.  He specializes in uniform analysis for basketball and football and offers a humorous take on player performances through Player Ratings posts.

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