Player Ratings to the Theme of Heels

Rating the Kansas Jayhawks players' performances after a win in the National Championship against the North Carolina Tar Heels.

The Kansas Jayhawks are champions of college basketball after defeating the North Carolina Tar Heels 72-69 on Monday night. And while the result was fantastic, there is still room to evaluate the individual performances of the players who made that happen. While Derek is coming back this week (and will do a full season player rating in the next few days), I have one last crack at giving you guys some ratings. The topic seemed obvious to me before the game started, and it only made more sense after the way the game played out.

Just in case you're new to these player ratings (or just need a refresher on how they work), here's how the evaluation process happens. First, I choose a subject and rank things according to my preferences. Your preferences will no doubt vary, but that's part of the fun. Then I assign a player to each star rating based on performance, but please note that not all games and not all ratings are equal. It's not completely stats based, but of course stats play a large role in how a player stacks up to others in a particular game.

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers.

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

Memorial No Star: Named after a former KU walk-on or obscure player and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.

5 Stars: Hulk Hogan

© David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

While he obviously wasn't the original heel in the world of wrestling, Hogan is the first one that comes to mind for me and my limited knowledge of the wrestling world. But the usage of the term "heel" in wrestling is also the most recognizable when defining a villain, so it's natural to pick one from that realm. Add in some heel-turn like behavior from the real-life person behind the Hulk Hogan persona, and he naturally fits in at the top spot.

David McCormack was easily the best player on the court for the Jayhawks, and honestly should have won the MOP award. His 15 points were tied for the most from the Jayhawks, but his presence inside and ability to play effectively with foul trouble was what carried this team to the title.

4.5 Stars: The Heel of Homemade Bread

© Sandra J. Milburn/The Hutchinson News / USA TODAY NETWORK

I'm a sucker for homemade bread, so much so that I probably have a serious problem. And there is no better way to get the perfect crispiness of that crust than by picking up a heel, which is what I've always called the end piece. Put some warm butter on that sucker, and it's perfection.

Remy Martin was not who I was originally planning on putting here, but he was extremely efficient in his shooting, scoring 14 points on just 9 shots. All four of his made three-pointers were huge, and his energy was fantastic.

Christian Braun was absolutely amazing in the second half of this game, which was enough for me to counterbalance his abysmal first half. He scored 12 points and pulled down 12 rebounds, but that alone wasn't enough for this rating. Instead, it was the fact that his yelling of profanity into the crowd was so intense that it actually made it into the One Shining Moment montage. Plus, his defense was PHENOMENAL!

Christian Braun's defense on Caleb Love was the difference in Kansas winning the national championship. Some huge possessions showing length on pullups and using verticality at the rim to force difficult shots. Also brought toughness with 12 rebounds. Potential 1st round pick. pic.twitter.com/3tJrYH9hJc

— Jonathan Givony (@DraftExpress) April 5, 2022

4 Stars: Grayson Allen

© Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

It's hard to think of a more hated college basketball heel than the Duke player that actively tripped opponents (three times!), other than maybe the coach that made excuses for him each time he did it.

Jalen Wilson probably should go one rung below because of how horrible he was on layups in the first half, but he did come up huge in the second, and his clutch free throw shooting was enough get him up here. I think this is the first of my ratings that show the bump players get from the overall team performance. If this wasn't a championship victory though, he could have rightly been put as low as a 3-star.

3.5 Stars: Ruby Slippers from The Wizard of Oz

© Nicolas Galindo/The Columbus Dispatch / USA TODAY NETWORK

Likely the most iconic shoes in all of film, it's hard to find anything bad to say about this iteration. But ruby slippers have also become a huge TV trope for no good reason, and if you really think about it, they don't make a lot of sense in the plot of the movie they are even in.

Maybe it will be an unpopular opinion, but Ochai Agbaji did not play well AT ALL. Yes, a big part of that was how well North Carolina picked him up defensively. But he was only 4-9 from the field, and a dismal 3-8 from the free throw line. Huge props for his senior leadership and for an incredible season as a whole, but McCormack was the real MOP. Agbaji even acknowledged as much in the postgame.

3 Stars: Cobra Kai from The Karate Kid

© Marty Pearl/Special to Courier Journal

When I first watched this movie growing up, these guys were THE WORST. But after looking back now, they weren't really as bad as I imagined.

Dajuan Harris didn't really do much in this game (3 assists to 4 turnovers), and his mistake at the end of the game to step out of bounds when trying to run out the clock gave North Carolina one final chance that they shouldn't have received. 

2 Stars: High Heels

© T&G Staff/Ashley Green via Imagn Content Services, LLC

This one is definitely a matter of personal taste, but my wife hates wearing them, and I don't see the appeal. At least, not as much as you typically hear from most guys. That being said, they do have their moments, so they don't fall all the way down to the one-star.

This was a ROUGH game for fan favorite Mitch Lightfoot, who couldn't seem to do anything against Bacot. Even though two of his fouls were cheap ones that shouldn't have been called, it was only a matter of time before he would have picked those up anyway, and he really wasn't able to do anything all night long. 

1 Star: Team Iceland in D2: The Mighty Ducks

© Tom Tingle/The Republic

Man, I loved the original movie The Mighty Ducks. So when I heard that a second one was coming out, it seemed like a perfect movie to get excited about. But man that movie was horrid. Team Iceland never came across as a believable villain, and it was pretty clear that they really were trying to describe the movie trope of the awful Russians without making another movie with the Russians as the villain. It didn't work at all.

Thankfully, no one was as horrible as Team Iceland was unbelievable in this movie.

Jordan Juenemann Memorial No Star:

Let's give some love to the first walk-on name that springs to mind from the last Kansas team to reach the title game.

Jalen Coleman-Lands and KJ Adams only played a couple minutes each at the end of the first half. It wasn't a fantastic performance by any means, but they were also thrust in there in a particularly difficult situation.

Even though none of these guys actually played, EVERYONE gets a mention somewhere in this rankings. Bobby Pettiford, Joseph Yesufu, Kyle Cuffe, Chris Teahan, Charlie McCarthy, Dillon Wilhite, Micahel Jankovich, Zach Clemence and Cam Martin. I'm not sure exactly what your contributions were that led to this national title, but I whole-heartedly respect your right to tell any story (real or imagined) about how what you did behind the scenes this season directly led to a Kansas National Championship.

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