The Funniest Things Jim Harbaugh Said Ahead Of Maryland Game

Michigan football is rolling despite several less-than-ideal off-field situations. Still, Jim Harbaugh is the same guy he always is.

If you listen to Jim Harbaugh talk, you'd never know that he's in the midst of an indefinite suspension with allegations swirling around his program. Granted, he and his team are 10-0, but there's a lot going on involving Michigan football right now, but Harbaugh could not be bothered by it. In fact, he said several things that drew big laughs from the media throng on Monday and even had himself chuckling a bit.

1. "I'm the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter. Yeah, something's going on there, but let's work it out, get it worked out. We're getting it out of the system. Do some more push ups, eat an apple."

Jim Harbaugh was noticeably hoarse on Monday afternoon and he was asked about it. He said that he had come down with a virus, but the players let the cat out of the bag. Both Cornelius Johnson and Kenneth Grant said that Harbaugh's voice was fine on Saturday morning before the game and then was gone once they were reunited at the airport before heading home. It doesn't really matter how it happened, Harbaugh saying that he'd beat it by doing push ups and eating an apple is hilarious.

2. "It's got to be America's team. America loves a team that that beats the odds, beats the adversity and overcomes what the naysayers and critics and so called "experts" think. That's my favorite kind of team."

I don't know if this is as funny as it is provoking, but it still made me smirk. Harbaugh knows what people think about his team right now and he's openly pushing back. He has maintained his innocence and definitely doesn't want anyone talking down on his players. So Harbaugh has decided to go to the other end of the spectrum and say that American loves his team. Genius.

3. "Sarah doesn't like when I talk about her, she does not like this, so I apologize to Sarah before for I say this, but sometimes she gets mad at me, she gets after me. Sometimes I get angry. And I have two options: I can come back and fire back and say, 'I'll show her who's boss.' Or, I can turn right around, go out and feed the chickens, clean out the coop, cut the lawn, edge it, you know, work for hours. That is always the better resolution."

The idea of Jim Harbaugh getting yelled at by his wife, staring at her blankly and then turning around to go outside and do yard work is absolutely hilarious and so on brand. I feel like he's close to doing that sometimes at press conferences. I can absolutely imagine Harbaugh disappearing to do chores for an entire day and not thinking twice about it. I'm not sure how his wife would feel about that in the moment, but he's probably right when he says that it saves a fiery, pointless argument from happening.

4. "My kids love them. They loved those chickens for about a week. They were chicks, and then the chicks became teenager chickens and then became adult chickens. All hens, egg layers. I'm the one who takes care of them. 

"And the respect that I have for chickens...I know there was a time when I said that the chicken is a nervous bird and I don't eat chicken. I was dead wrong. I I stand corrected. These chickens are low maintenance and high production. They lay an egg every 26-27 hours. They need just water and food. And then I play with them, let them out in the yard. We run around and they're happy to see me. They're happy to see me. There's times when I do good things for other people and I know they're not as happy to see me as my chickens are. So it's good. It's good for my mental health as well and good, fresh eggs everyday. Highly productive, highly productive."

I mean...is there really anything else that needs to be said? Jim Harbaugh is in the middle of an indefinite suspension, with allegations swirling around his program and the biggest game of the year is just two weeks away...and he's talking for minutes on end about his chickens. You can't make this stuff up.

6. "I'm not an attorney. I always wanted to be. I watched a lot of shows. I watch Judge Judy a lot. But I always kind of felt like it'd be cool to get up there and thunder away at a jury like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men or be a judge, like Judge Judy. But alas, I did not go to law school." 

Again, Harbaugh has a lot going on right now, including the upcoming hearing on Friday and he's equating it to an episode of Judge Judy, which he's been on hand for in the past, and a loud, long dialogue given by Tom Cruise. This is just more evidence that Harbaugh feels just fine about what the NCAA and Big Ten will ultimately find and that he did nothing wrong.