Heyward on his Journey Back to MSU: ‘My Heart Was Still Here’
Last year wasn't the easiest time for Connor Heyward, who entered the transfer portal and decided to leave the Michigan State football program.
He took time for himself, away from the game, to recharge mentally – wondering what his next move was.
Plenty of schools were interested in the 6-foot-0, 230-pound do-it-all running back, and for a split-second, he entertained the idea of leaving the Spartans. But something inside him told a different story.
"I don't know what it was; I just had this gut feeling. I called my mom one day, and I was like, 'Mom, I feel like it's not over. I just feel like I should stay here.' She was like, 'Are you serious?' And she was like 'Whatever you want to do, we're behind you,'" said Heyward.
Before making a final decision and returning to MSU, Heyward needed to reshape his body and gain the discipline back he lost throughout the winter.
While rooming with Matt Allen he continued taking classes at Michigan State.
Heyward never completely stopped working out but admitted he wasn't properly conditioned.
"I was working out, but it was so cold, so you couldn't run or anything," Heyward said. "I was just lifting; heavy and stuff. But I gained a good amount of weight."
The people closest to him took notice.
"I went to the Pro Bowl actually and met my family there," Heyward told reporters Thursday night. "And they just looked at me like 'What are you doing? Like are you just going out every night?' I had to look myself in the mirror. I was like; there's no excuses. And I wasn't going out every night, but I was just eating bad, staying up late.
"I didn't really have that discipline and somebody to be in my ear. And usually, I don't need that, but it was just a tough time last year."
As he wrangled with one of the more challenging decisions in his life, he looked to his mom for guidance, who went to his aid.
"My mom is a big lady on 'patience is a virtue' and just finishing what you do. Me entering the portal, she was like 'are you sure you want to do this,'" said Heyward. "We had a talk, me and her, she flew up here. My mom was just being supportive; she knew I was kind of going through it mentally."
When he chose to sit out of the Indiana game, Heyward said it was "super hard" because all of his friends came to East Lansing to watch the game.
Eventually, he became a regular college football fan, flipping through the channels on a Saturday afternoon like the rest of the world, but it didn't make it any less difficult.
"Mentally, I don't think I was in the right state of mind to be here. Me not being my normal self, I'm very talkative, and I just felt like I shut down for a little bit when all that happened," Heyward said.
Eventually, he sat down with MSU athletic director Bill Beekman and Mel Tucker about coming back.
Eight days after the new head coach's initial press conference, Heyward announced his return.
From there, he would do whatever it took to remain a Spartan forever.
"Ultimately, my heart was still here."
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