Wrestling Without His Father, Kyle Dake Earns an Emotional Olympic Bid

Dake defeated Nittany Lion Wrestling Club teammate Jason Nolf in a difficult match for both athletes at the U.S. Olympic Wrestling Trials.

Kyle Dake (left) wrestles against Nittany Lion Wrestling Club teammate Jason Nolf at the U.S. Olympic Wrestling Trials in State College. / Matthew O'Haren-USA TODAY Sports

Five minutes before walking into a recent wrestling practice in State College, Pa., Kyle Dake received the call that his father had passed away. Dake finished practice, got into his car and drove to his parents' home near Ithaca, New York. Among the first people to send his condolences was fellow Nittany Lion Wrestling Club athlete Jason Nolf. Nine days later, Dake wrestled Nolf for trip to the Summer Olympics.

"Every one of us is bringing in some some sort of baggage," Dake said Saturday night at the U.S. Olympic Trials in State College. "We wrestle through it. When we choose to step on the mat, we choose to go. But I’m just really thankful for his support."

Dake ultimately defeated Nolf, the three-time Penn State national champ, for the Olympic bid in a wrenching moment for both wrestlers. Dake competed in a major event for the first time without his father, Doug, who passed away April 11. Doug Dake wrestled, too. He was an All-American at Kent State and coached at Cornell, where Kyle won four NCAA titles. Kyle drew his love of wrestling from his father. His family wore "Team Dake" T-shirts at the Olympic Trials.

"It's just really hard," Dake said after defeating Nolf 3-1 in Saturday night's final at 74 kg freestyle. "It's the first time that I had to do this without him. I wish he was here, and I want to do him proud. It's just hard to find the worlds to say how much he means to me. We just went through a lot trying to help him, and seeing him suffer, it gives you a lot of perspective on how much of a game this is. Just go out and do your best and be grateful for the opportunity, Yeah, it's just hard."

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Kyle Dake was in tears talking about wrestling for the first time without his dad. Said every NLWC member reached out to offer support.

“I miss him. He was just a big part of this whole journey for me. It’s really hard to not have him here.” pic.twitter.com/9x2Fi3euTl

— Audrey Snyder (@audsnyder4) April 21, 2024

As Dake said, everyone brings "some sort of baggage to the mat." Nolf might have had some as well. After losing the clinching bout to Dake, Nolf took an emotional walk to the locker room with Bo Nickal, the former Penn State wrestler and MMA star serving as one of his coaches. Nolf had fought through the challenge-tournament bracket, defeating U.S. wrestling legend Jordan Burroughs 3-0, to earn the matchup with his friend and club teammate. Dake, a four-time world champion, had won their previous six meetings. He added two more wins, by scores of 4-1 and 3-1, on Saturday.

Yet after the second win, Dake said Nolf wrestled through a physical issue and he was uncomfortable trying to take advantage of that.

"This was a good match," Dake said. "We both wrestled hard. I don’t want to wrestle anybody who’s hurt. I don’t want to just win because he’s hurt, especially because he’s my teammate, and I don’t want to hurt him worse."

Dake joined the Nittany Lion Wrestling Club in 2022 after winning his fourth world championship. He said the club, headed by Penn State wrestling coach Cael Sanderson and head club coach Jake Varner, taught him "how to be a better man."

"I can’t put myself in Kyle’s shoes,” fellow NLWC athlete David Taylor said before the Olympic Trials. "I’ve known Kyle for a long time, as long as any competitor I’ve [known] in my life. In doing so, I got to know Doug and his wife Jodie. They are great people, and Doug loved Kyle and Doug loved wrestling.”

In celebrating his victory, Dake paused to recognize Nolf. "It's hard when you’re at the same weight and both chasing the same dream," Dake said. "One of us is not going to get there."

Dake also was sure that his father was watching.

"He just said he really loved watching me [become] a dad and encouraged me to go have fun," Dake said of one of their recent conversations. "Compete with gratitude and mental toughness. The two men that really got me in this sport, my grandfather passed away in the early 2000s, and now my dad. So it's our journey together. I still carry the torch and gave myself another chance to go out and try to win that Olympic gold medal."

Kyle Dake celebrates with his family after winning the 74 kg title at the 2024 U.S. Olympic Wrestling Trials in State College. / Dan Rainville / USA TODAY NETWORK

AllPennState is the place for Penn State news, opinion and perspective on the SI.com network. Publisher Mark Wogenrich has covered Penn State for more than 20 years, tracking three coaching staffs, three Big Ten titles and a catalog of great stories. Follow him on Twitter @MarkWogenrich.