Dear Opponent: Oklahoma State

Each week, we send a letter to that week’s opponent, just to let them know we are thinking about them before the game. This week, the TCU Horned Frogs travel to Stillwater to take on the OSU Cowboys.

Photo: Tony Beblowski/KillerFrogs

Dear Cowboys Fans:

We’re assuming you’re feeling rather cocky right about now. We understand as Baylor had those same feelings this time last week. Cocky? Perhaps over-confident might be a better description. While your win/loss record may be better than ours, and our record in Stillwater is less than stellar, this has been a difficult year for TCU. We’ve had a lot of challenges, especially losing our legendary coach just over a week ago, but adversity is what gives us the strength to carry on and prevail. After all, we sent the Bears back to the zoo last week, and we’re confident we can send you wannabe Cowboys back to your bunkhouse on the prairie.

I grew up in a house that bleeds Crimson and Cream. In fact, my momma still wears her “I Hate Orange” shirt with pride and passion. And my dad is a wise man that I learned many a lesson by following his example, and one of the most important ones is that “High School in Stillwater” is, and will always be, the home of the “Aggies” and not the Cowboys. You must know, we are very familiar with how to handle pretend cowboys because, after all, Fort Worth is ”Where the West Begins.” But enough talk about the Aggies, er, I mean the Cowboys. Just writing this makes me want to chunk this letter and go spend way too much time at Eskimo Joe’s!

It is with eager anticipation and full faith in our “Kill’s Frogs” that we travel up to “Stilly” as you call it. As in “Silly”? And then we must endure the Stephen King character actor who creeps around looking like a 70’s porn star with that mustache, leather chaps, paddle fetish, known as Pistol Pete, and looking dejected when he lost the title role in “Midnight Cowboy.”

70s pornstar or America's worst college mascot? / Photo: © Brian Losness-USA TODAY Sports

And Pistol Pete was voted the worst mascot in the United States. At least y’all are number one in something!

And speaking of paddles, we already have a headache just thinking about having to listen to a bunch of amped-up kids clapping their paddles against the end zone wall. It’s very much like having to sit through kids’ birthday parties at a Chuck E Cheese’s with all the sugar-high kids yelling and banging on their tables. It’s the same kind of behavior and annoyance to any visitor over 10 years old. So, we’re driving 250 miles to see kiddies playing with their paddles and being obnoxious, while in the background lurks Pistol Pete. I need a beer. But isn’t milk the official state beverage of Oklahoma? Lawd ah mercy!

Just as annoying as kids' birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese's / Photo: © Brett Rojo-USA TODAY Sports

We do hope that your crew who fires the cannon IF you score, who I assume you call “Cowhands,” drinks their Red Bull or perhaps some strong coffee from the chuck wagon to stay awake because misfires are the gifts of embarrassment that keeps on giving. We remember, it happened at a TCU game several years ago. But we’ll take your misfired cannons, the paddle symphony, and Creepin’ Pete over that wheat field imitation your fans do. Jeez. Get off the farm and yell, applaud, and do high-fives like normal people. Leave the amber waves of grain to the songwriters and farmers. Absolutely, it’s a multi-sensory assault on our sanity to sit through a game in Boone Pickens Stadium. Hell, ol’ T. Boone himself left Oklahoma himself and moved to Texas!

But back to the game. So what if our coach was your coach’s high school biology teacher. That doesn’t matter. Your defense is on fire as we’ve had some struggles.  And your offense may have had its issues, with our injuries, so have we. But we’ve got something that all your antics and character mascots can’t whip up. Determination. We are coming to Stillwater, with our spirits high and our focus clear, to show respect and appreciation to our departed coach and that same respect and appreciation for the leadership of Coach Kill. We owe a victory to both these outstanding coaches. And, to our fans.

So, Cowboys, be prepared to send that horse back to the barn and the paddles back in their case. We beat one ranked team in an unexpected fashion last week. We aren’t done. We have a huge chip on our shoulders and are ready to spit some blood. FEAR THE FROG. See you Saturday night under the lights!

Go Frogs!

KillerFrogs 

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