TCU Football: Dear Opponent: BYE BYE, BYE

Every week, KillerFrogs writes a heartfelt letter to their football opponent. This week the Frogs will be getting ghosted by the BYE Eidolons (again) and On SI's SI ain't happy

Nov 11, 2023; Fort Worth, Texas, USA; TCU Horned Frogs head coach Sonny Dykes argues with an official after a penalty flag on a play during the game against theTexas Longhorns at Amon G. Carter Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Aaron E. Martinez-Imagn Images / Aaron E. Martinez-Imagn Images

Dear Eidolons,

I stole your name from Whitman. Pardon my presumption, but you really haven't left me much of a choice, have you, seeing as this will be our third game since I've been writing these cheeky epistles and I have yet to find a corresponding state, county, town, or mascot associated with your supposed school. Further, I can find no schedule pertaining to your athletic success (or lack thereof) and every time I Google BYE players or coaches the clearly biased search engine of malodorous misinformation brings up a a different team--Kansas or Kansas State or Oklahoma State. Never BYE. So I like eidolon as a moniker for you, which, according to Google, refers to a spectre or phantom. For that's what you are, a phantom team.

Mike Gundy finds you equally frustrating. When he named Alan Bowman (I have no idea who that is) as the starting quarterback for Oklahoma State, he was asked how that was possible with the Cowboys on the BYE, to which he responded: "I don't see a need to change things, plus I don't answer to you." Now those are clearly the words of a guy frustrated by a team, such as yours, that adamantly refuses to show up for a game--by the way, it goes without saying, refusing to attend the competition amounts to forfeiting the field (and thank God, because without you, the Horned Frogs probably wouldn't have another win to look forward to this season).

BREAKING: Alan Bowman has been named the starting Quarterback for Oklahoma State this weekend by Head Coach Mike Gundy.

When asked how this was possible with the Cowboys being on Bye this week Gundy said, “I don’t see a need to change things, plus I don’t answer to you.” pic.twitter.com/LzFFbaXXHu

— Wilson F. Ball, CFB Analyst (@WillyFoosball) October 8, 2024

Now, I must admit I'm losing patience. Indeed, I have devoloped a hatred for BYE as intense--nay, more so, much more so--as that of Baylor and SMU. Those teams simply on occasion beat my school. You do much worse. You've wasted twenty hours of my life for a joke.

First there was the 2022 season, the last one in college football that counts. I went to the Amon Carter on Saturday and waited from 11 till 9 for your team to show up. And you didn't do it. Needless to say, we won.

Then the next year, I figured that game must have been played in whatever town houses the BYE Eidolons, but this time, seeing as teams alter between home and away by the season, you'd be sure to show up some time as scheduled. So I waited again, from 11 till 9, for your boys to show. And seeing as you are eidolons, they did. Only problem is I couldn't see them, and being ghosts, they couldn't play. So we won again.

Now we will be playing you wherever, whenever, presumably on Saturday, and seeing as you haven't bothered to show for a single game the following letter is all I have to say to you:

( )

Best of luck,

SI

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