TCU Football - Dear Opponent: Drilling For Points

Every week, KillerFrogs writes a heartfelt letter to their football opponent. This week the Frogs will host the Houston Cougars, and On SI's SI is here for the roast

Oklahoma Sooners wide receiver Deion Burks (6) is brought down by Houston Cougars defensive back A.J. Haulcy (2) and defensive back Kentrell Webb (8) after a reception during a college football game between the University of Oklahoma Sooners (OU) and the Houston Cougars at Gaylord Family – Oklahoma Memorial Stadium in Norman, Okla., Saturday, Sept. 7, 2024. / BRYAN TERRY/THE OKLAHOMAN / USA TODAY NETWORK

Dear Oilers,

It is with little surprise and much sympathy I see that you have been involved in a series of legal threats over, of all things, your uniform -- little surprise because, in sports, a wheeze and a fart can result in litigation, and much sympathy, because, in my mild and humble opinion, you have the right to wear whatever uniform you like, particularly if that uniform belongs to a team now defunct (though, in fairness, I'm not entirely sure they are defunct, being unschooled in these matters).

Having said that, while I completely champion your right to wear the same colors as the old Oilers, I believe, out of politesse, if nothing else, you have an obligation also to adopt that venerable team's name. What's good for a jersey is good for a name, and it seems to me that if you're going to honor retrospectively an aesthetically unpleasing color coordination, you could do the same for a much less offensive moniker. Further, by adopting "Oiler" as a name, you avoid people confusing your team for large predatory cats and petite middle-aged women, with nails like claws, hitting the bars in search of boys that look a lot like certain members of your football team.

Now, about that football team, I've done a little bit of research and must say: I'm not particularly worried. The Cougars, either of the wildcat or bored Housewives of Houston variety, have not put a single point on the scoreboard in three weeks. You did manage to add 33--against Rice, though experience has shown, and common sense proved, Ivy League schools do not produce good football teams. Traditionally, this would have been attributable to those schools valuing academic acumen over the athletic kind, though these days, it would seem those very same schools value little of anything. So much the worse.

As for us, we're doing fine, regardless of what cynics say. We're 3 and 1, about to be 4 and 1. Unless you prove me wrong (speaking as a Sports Ignoramus, that's easier said than done, and I offer for proof my perfect 12 and 0 prognostications of two years ago. And, as for last year, well, let's just say I don't remember it and so much the better) in which case we really are in for a world of hurt in the weeks to come.

Best of luck,

SI

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