TCU Football - Dear Opponent - Hey Dude, Let's Go Bowling

Before every football game, KillerFrogs writes a heartfelt letter to their opponent. This Saturday, TCU will be appearing at the New Mexico Bowl opposite the Ragin Cajuns and OnSi's SI Ignoramus is here for the roast

Quarterback Chandler Fields 18 as Louisianas Ragin Cajuns take on South Alabama at Cajun Field in Lafayette, LA. Saturday, Nov. 16, 2024. / SCOTT CLAUSE/USA TODAY Network / USA TODAY NETWORK via Imagn Images

Dear Caged Hens,

I am writing you on behalf of KillerFrogs, an organization dedicated to the praise and celebration of TCU athletics--and I am what I at once lovingly and self-deprecatingly term myself their resident Sports Ignoramus. Nice to meet you. You may have heard of our team. We've developed a considerable football program in the last ten years. We've triumphed at several bowl games, some of which I can actually remember, and have appeared at one almost annually--even if, as with this year, the bowl in question should include in the ticket package a plunger, a flusher, and a bottle of bleach. But more on that presently.

At first, I have to admit, I did not think I'd heard of your team. There were only two teams located in Louisiana that leapt to mind--Elle Is You and Tool Lane--and Lousiana-Lafeyette was not one of them. Then it occurred to me that KillerFrog's very own JD Andress counts himself among your illustrious alumni--so needless to say, this makes your school far more worthy of praise than the two aforementioned.

Normally, I approach this task of talking trash with great guts and gusto, but today, my fingers are slower to type, gentler to touch. You see, technically, we have a great team. And technically, this was a good season for us, with an 8-4 finish. Technically.

But it feels like such a downer, doesn't it? Granted, the magic of two years ago is hard if not impossible to summon, but getting spanked by the Houston Cougars, in public, and at home--that's just not what I consider a criterion for a "winning" season. If we call that part of a winning season, I'd hate to know what a losing season looks like. Add to that the fact that we lost to both our rivals, who will go unmentioned here, and I just don't have it in me to gloat about imminent victory over a friend and colleague's alma mater (oh, by the way, I helped him get the job, so if you're looking to blame someone for his perfidy, you're reading him).

And Saturday we'll be meeting, locked in competitive sport at the most illustrious, glorious, venerable . . . New Mexico Bowl. I don't even know where it is. I'd guess Albuquerque, as that seems one of only three cities in the whole state large enough to boast a bowl--if Albuquerque can boast of anything. Speaking of which, I started watching Breaking Bad lately. Ever seen it? I really hope we're not going to find ourselves surrounded by hordes of gun-carrying skin heads strung out on crystal meth. If so, that would definitely make for a far more interesting game than I suspect we're in for.

Anyway, needless to say, I'm not excited, I'm highly disappointed with the season, and I hope you might be feeling the same way. I see here that you went 10-3 this season, more impressive than 8-4, sure. On the other hand, you lost to South Alabama (who?), Tool Lane, and Marshall (I love that movie). So, I hope it is not overleaping the bounds of humility to suggest TCU might manage to walk away with a win this Saturday.

Best of luck,

SI

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