TCU Football - Dear Opponent - Two Cheers To The Beerkats

Every week, KillerFrogs writes a heartfelt letter to their football opponent. This week the Frogs will be visiting Cincinnati to take on the Beerkats, and On SI's SI is here for the roast

Nov 23, 2024; Manhattan, Kansas, USA; Kansas State Wildcats wide receiver Tre Spivey (12) loses the ball after being hit by Cincinnati Bearcats linebacker Simeon Coleman (31) during the third quarter at Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Scott Sewell-Imagn Images / Scott Sewell-Imagn Images

Dear Beerkats,

Another game, another feline opponent. To be frank, before now I never gave it much thought, my being an (admitted) sports ignoramus, but the Big 12 (comprising however many more teams--anyone still keeping count?) did lose a considerable deal upon the bilateral exits of UT and OU, to whit, two names boasting something like originality. For despite the arrogance of the participants and the preponderance of obnoxious bovine/speculator fans, there wasn't another Longhorns, much less Sooners, to be found in college football. Now, the Big 12 boasts TWO Wildcats, two more Cougars, and now you, the Beerkats.

Courteously, I will admit the possibility, seeing as I have no idea what a beerkat is, you may not actually be cats. Perhaps you simply punned on the meerkat, a small mongoose found in southern Africa. Not the most intimidating opponent, I must say, the mongoose, but then, neither is a Yankee, and this has not prevented them from being the most formidable team, historically speaking, in whatever sport's history.

So two cheers to the beerkats! We share one thing in common: a lackluster season. We lost to both, count em, both of our rivals: those unbearable Bores to the south, and the piebald Ponies to the east, to say nothing of suffering a spanking at home at the hands of a harem of Cougars from Houston. The cheeks still smart.

On the other hand, you can't boast much better a season, having lost four consecutive games to conference opponents. Indeed, as of now, you have only defeated three Big 12 teams: UCF, Arizona State, and (checks notes) Houston, whom you tramped 34-0. So it would seem college football is an ambidextrous muse (for every hand you're dealt, you have to check the other for a double-dealer). Our game against Texas Tech narrowly went our way. I believe their coach had something to do with it. Yours against Houston proved auspicious. On that other treacherous hand, however, we are 7-4 so far this season, as against your 5-6. We'll go to a bowl, you may come within a game of going to one.

Despite that discrepancy, I still consider us about breaking even. We didn't play many of the same teams, and our losses, when they befell us, were thoroughly humiliating. I hope you Beerkats will cheers to this missive and join me over a pint when I say: "Here's to 2025." Let's get this over with as soon as possible.

Best,

SI

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