TCU Football: The Killer (Of Opposing Quarterbacks) Frogs

A modest proposal, to the TCU defense, guaranteeing an undefeated season--by a sports ignoramus

© Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN WRITTEN FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY; ANY ATHLETIC WISDOM OR INSIGHT OR KNOWLEDGEABILITY THEREIN, NOT DIRECTLY QUOTED BY MY COLLEAGUES, IS NOT ONLY PURELY ACCIDENTAL BUT UNFORTUNATE.

I was driving as fast as I could for Showdown on Camp Bowie to catch the second half of the TCU/Kansas game, more than a little concerned that, as with the last game I watched at that location, I would find myself the lone Frog in a Fort Worth staple, surrounded by the enemy. 

When I arrived I saw no reason to worry.  The bar was populated by two other patrons, a middle-aged man in purple, named Nathan, watching the UT/OU game because he had money on the outcome, and an elderly fellow named Joe.  I liked Joe.  Because he liked TCU, and that was more than enough reason to reciprocate. 

It was 10-0, and appeared to be in our favor.  And I was delighted by this, all the more so, when, out of the blue, the BFG wrote:  "Jaylon Daniels down.  :("  

The Nathan Cross made his contribution:  "Looked bad."  

To which the Tori Couch replied:  "TCU needs to stop taking out quarterbacks."  

But I was more inclined to cut to the chase:  "Seems like a good strategy to me."  

And as the third quarter commenced, with far more disappointing results for this particular TCU fan, it occurred to me that this article was necessary so as to vouchsafe all TCU's victories in the future: 

Defense.  Take out the quarterbacks.  And, as the Kansas game proved, even the second string quarterbacks if necessary.  

Now, I know there are some people who are going to accuse me immediately of being cynical, if not unsportsmanlike, or downright immoral to openly advocate the implementation of such a tactic.  To these opprobria I offer no objection beyond the obvious:  this is football we're talking about and as far as I'm concerned, worrying about such tedious pedantries as sportsmanlike whatever is counterproductive to the real purpose that, after all, unites us:  to watch our guys kick the other team's ass.  Further, football means hitting and hitting means getting hurt.  The reader may consider that the logic of a sports ignoramus.  

It seems to me that just as a good general would order his soldiers to target those of the enemy who pose the greatest threat to their attack, so should our defense treat any member of the opposing team who may compromise a TCU victory.  And while I am perfectly willing to allow certain restrictions, within reason--bombing is messy and the use of fire arms a little extreme--hitting, with all your might, however it happens, surely passes any expectation of decency that isn't hypocritical, nor beg the question of the whole point of the sport of American football altogether.  

In short, beat the hell out of them.  

The rest that happens is between them and the Lord. 

And that's my two cents, not worth a penny for your thoughts. 

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