Words Fail As Longhorns 'Hangover' Continues

Texas' six-game losing streaks hard to put into historical perspective

It’s my job to write about sports. But what happens when the words fail?

At one point, Texas was ranked No. 15 in the country. That’s not a misprint. At one point, the sportswriters and broadcasters in this country, who know college football pretty darned well, thought the Longhorns were a Top 15 team. That was before they played Arkansas, a game the Razorbacks won 40-21.

I thought it was a blip, honestly. I didn’t think Arkansas was that good. I didn’t Texas was that bad.

What do I know? Arkansas is going to a bowl game.

Texas will be home and coach Steve Sarkisian and his staff will be recruiting and, theoretically, trying to block the transfer portal from his current players. Someone have a tracker on Bijan Robinson yet? I kid, I kid … I think. For that matter, maybe keep tabs on Keilan Robinson, too?

It all fell apart against Oklahoma. That’s the reality. Remember when the Atlanta Falcons had that 28-3 lead on New England in Super Bowl LI in 2017 and and lost? The Falcons really haven’t been the same since.

The Longhorns were never the same since that loss to Oklahoma. Six straight losses now. West Virginia coach Neal Brown was on a warmer seat than Sarkisian going into this one. Maybe switch the temperature now? Eh, maybe not. Sark’s seat was already hot enough. He’s head coach of the Longhorns, after all. The seat is automatically set to warm.

This is not the rest of the Big 12 taking their frustrations out on the Longhorns for their impending exit to the SEC. It’s a nice bonus, of course. No, this is a team with a massive hangover — and not from a night on Sixth Street.

This hangover is Sooner-induced. And Cowboy-induced. The Bears, the Cyclones, the Jayhawks and the Mountaineers have had a hand in it, too. Texas is that over-served frat boy who is now lost and doesn’t know how to get back to campus. You feel pity for him, but only after you’re done chuckling.

The only way to get rid of this hangover is to win — or have the season end. Either way, the hangover comes to an end on Friday against Kansas State. How many Longhorns fans are going to get off the couch and go to Darrell K. Royal for that one?

It’s cool. If you’re a season-ticket holder, the Longhorns already have your money. Enjoy your leftovers. As for the rest of you, let me assure you — Kansas State running back Deuce Vaughn is worth the price of admission.

I spent part of Saturday night trying to find a comparison for this, what we’ve witnessed this season. It wasn’t that long ago the Longhorns missed a bowl game. Heck, they missed a bowl game in Charlie Strong’s final two seasons. But he didn’t lose six in a row, either. Nor did he lose to Kansas at home.

Sorry. Too soon?

I thought about that 1997 season, the last with John Mackovic in charge. The Longhorns went 4-7. They didn’t lose six straight, but they did lose five of their last six. Texas was No. 11 at one point — before that "Rout 66" loss to UCLA (Bruins won 66-3).

There was that 1988 season under David McWilliams. The Longhorns went 4-7 and lost six of their last seven. Again, Texas was ranked No. 19 to start the year, was blown out by a non-conference opponent (BYU) and saw its fall triggered by a loss to Oklahoma in Dallas.

Funny how it call comes back to Oklahoma, doesn’t it?

McWilliams lasted five seasons. Mackovic lasted six. If you ask any long-time Longhorns fans, they’ll tell you that those are the two coaches that just make them shake their heads.

For younger Longhorns fans, I think they thought they were done with the head-shaking after Strong and Tom Herman.

Nope, not yet.

Sarkisian’s hire was nearly universally hailed as the "right hire" in January. But, any hire — ANY HIRE — is a risk. Heck, there was a time Nick Saban was considered a risk when he returned to the college ranks. And that first season Tuscaloosa was not his best work. But it got better, right? I seem to recall several years ago some misguided attempt by Texas boosters to lure him to Austin?

Sark is no Saban returning to the college ranks. Let’s be clear. Saban may have been seen as a .500 pro coach, but he still had a national championship on the shelf. The Longhorns hired someone that had never won anything as a head coach before except, you know, games.

He never finished better than third in the Pac-12, in the conference or in the North Division. He never finished better than a tie for second in the Pac-12 South.

Texas hired a coach with a winning career record and a national championship ring won while working for the best college football coach in history (sorry, Bear). Sark doesn’t have it all worked out yet.

But he needs to work it out, and he needs to work it out fast. The days of patience are done in college football. Texas Tech jettisoned Matt Wells after less than three seasons and he was a win away from a bowl game.

Remember that I noted that McWilliams and Mackovic lasted five and six years, respectively? Their records?

McWilliams: 31-26.

Mackovic: 41-28-2.

It’s going to be a long offseason, folks.

You can find Matthew Postins on Twitter @PostinsPostcard.

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