Who would win the Super Bowl if it weren't based on football?

Author:
Ryan Wong
Publish date:
Oct 8, 2014

The question of who is going to win the Super Bowl is often rooted in analyzing things like "strategy" and "talent." But what if that weren't the case? What if the Super Bowl were determined by... nearly everything else except what actually takes place on the field on Sunday? Here's who would win the Super Bowl if the Lombardi Trophy winner were decided by factors ranging from best facial hair to best post-game press conferences.

. Facial Hair

Winner - The Pittsburgh Steelers

Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Houston Texans and Eric Weddle of the San Diego Chargers may make this one a contest but as long as Brett Keisel is in the league, no one touches The Beard.

. Uniforms

Winner - The Cleveland Browns

. Uniforms

Winner - The Cleveland Browns

. Endzone Celebrations

Winner - The New York Giants

The pickings are slim now because the NFL hates fun. Cam's "Superman" is a strong candidate and the (overly celebrated) Lambeau Leap has history behind it, but Victor Cruz's salsa dance is fun and a bit silly - qualities which any NFL game could use.