What does Belichick eat if he hasn’t been to a grocery store in years?

Patriots coach Bill Belichick says he hasn’t been to a grocery store “in a couple of years.” So what does he eat?

If Bill Belichick doesn’t strike you as a foodie, you’re probably right. 

The Patriots coach recently revealed a very troubling personal fact: he hasn’t been food shopping in a very long time. 

“I haven’t been to the grocery store in a couple of years,” Belichick said Wednesday, according to the Providence Journal. 

So what does The Hoodie eat if he’s not picking up fresh groceries? Does he forage for nuts and berries in the wooded areas near Gillette Stadium? Does he go with the Skip Bayless approach? After an in-depth investigation, Extra Mustard has unearthed the completely real, 100% authentic* order history from Belichick’s Seamless account. Here’s what he eats: 

Why does Belichick order so much food from a ham joint? For starters, the delivery minimum is $50. Also, the only other option on Seamless if you’re ordering from Gillette is “24 Hour Pizza Delivery,” which is only open for 12 hours a day, and Belichick was probably scared away by a reviewer who received Caesar dressing on her Chicken Alfredo as opposed to, well, Alfredo.

This has been an Extra Mustard investigation. 

* By 100% authentic we mean entirely fabricated.