American Mustache Institute chides Don Mattingly for facial hair ban

The American Mustache Institute calls out Marlins, Don Mattingly for new anti-facial hair policy.

There was a time when Don Mattingly was the proud owner of one of the sporting world’s most glorious mustaches, and even allowed himself to be benched by the notoriously anti-facial hair Yankees rather than trim it. Now that he is a manager, Mattingly is singing a different tune though, as a new team policy requires all Marlins players to be clean shaven this season.

Now the American Mustache Institute is calling out the Miami skipper for hypocrisy and discrimination.

Mattingly has turned his back on an opportunity to celebrate his Mustached American roots and demonstrate the proven performance enhancing capabilities that come with lower nose foliage.

“The entire episode marks yet another dark chapter in the way the Mustached American community can often be treated,” said Dr. Adam Paul Causgrove, chief executive officer of the American Mustache Institute. “But we will continue to fight for those who have no representation and firmly push our agenda, making the case of the power of facial hair and all that it brings to all walks of life.”

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Miami had previously banned facial hair, but allowed the team to grow scruff beginning with the tenure of Ozzie Guillen, who sports a Van Dyke-style beard.

[Hall of Very Good]

–  Brendan Maloy