It’s a slow news day, so here’s some sports news from 1892

There is nothing going on in sports. Please enjoy these delightful 19th century dispatches instead.

Dan Gartland and Brendan Maloy | Jul 13, 2016

It’s a slow news day, so here’s some sports news from 1892 /

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Our readers love to ask us if it’s a slow news day, but today actually is. Nothing ever happens on the day after the MLB All-Star Game.

This year is no exception. No, a court denying Tom Brady’s petition for a rehearing doesn’t count. Everyone is sick of Deflategate.

We’ve been twiddling our thumbs all day long, but we know our readers are itching for news. In the absence of new news, we’ll have to settle for old news. Very old news.

We’ve scoured the archives of the long-defunct sports newspaper Sporting Life to bring you all the latest news from 1892.

• How to watch sports on the slowest sports day of the year

Base ball season begins with a terrifying cartoon

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Gumbert nearly killed

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Dunlap’s scare

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Brooklyn “weaklings” have a chance to “enthuse”

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Cleveland’s front office wants to murder Arthur Irwin

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Ward is a scoundrel

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Player fights reporter

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Fugitive absconds on a bike

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A lesson for women who want to ride a bike

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Football players keep dying

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A dog is also dead

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Amateur baseball player attacked by wife for mid-game flirting

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Albert Dalrymple is a bad husband

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Brooklyn team raises $300 for player who died of typhoid

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Sporting Life’s full archives, stretching from 1883 to 1917, can be accessed here. If you’re looking for more old-school baseball, check out our Dead Dead Ball Ballplayer of the Week series.

Hopefully that’s enough to hold you over until baseball starts for real again on Friday.

Published Jul 13, 2016

DAN GARTLAND AND BRENDAN MALOY

Dan Gartland writes about the kind of stuff that makes readers ask facetiously, “Why is this news?” Brendan Maloy covers odd minor league promotions, athletes' Instagram accounts and others sports adjacent ephemera.