David Fizdale suspects Kawhi Leonard is a robot who ‘bleeds antifreeze’

He’s probably right.

The oldest cliche in basketball is saying a clutch shooter has ice water in his veins. For Kawhi Leonard, you’d actually believe that’s true. It says a lot that Leonard’s most exciting quote of the season was “Basketball is fun.”

Kawhi’s even-keeled demeanor is starting to make people suspicious, though, including Grizzlies coach David Fizdale. 

“He was standing next to me the other night and he wasn’t breathing,” Fizdale told reporters Thursday afternoon. “So I’m gonna check the rulebook and find out if robots are allowed to play in the NBA. Somehow, Pop and them have figured it out. They know something I don’t know. This guy bleeds antifreeze or something.”

I think Fizdale is on to something, but he needs to connect the dots. If Gregg Popovich is going to have a robot on his roster, it’s going to be one he designed and built himself. We must find Pop’s secret lab where he engineered replacement parts to keep Tim Duncan up and running for 18 years.