Monday’s Hot Clicks: This Russian Soccer Player Paid $80K for the Right to Humiliate His Former Coach

Artem Dzyuba scored a clutch goal after paying a steep fee just to play in the game.

Everyone has had a boss they didn’t like, but would you pay $80,000 just to stick it to them?

Russian striker Artem Dzyuba fell out of favor with manager Roberto Mancini at Zenit St. Petersburg earlier this season, so he was loaned out to Arsenal Tula. A clause in the deal stated that Dzyuba couldn’t play against Zenit without Arsenal paying a substantial fee. Dzyuba wanted to play so badly that he agreed to pay half of the 10 million-Ruble fee out of his own pocket, more than $80,000. 

Dzyuba got his money’s worth, assisting on Tula’s first goal and scoring a late equalizer in the 3–3 draw—which you see above—and stunting all over Mancini. 

It was a huge game for Zenit, too, which is now in danger of missing out on the Champions League. Nothing is sweeter than revenge.

Get Giannis some tacos, for crying out loud

The Bucks-Celtics series is tied 2–2 thanks to Giannis Antetokounmpo’s clutch tip-in in the final seconds yesterday afternoon and Milwaukee has a chance at winning its first playoff series in 17 years. So why can’t Giannis get a table for a postgame meal?!

At @BelAirCantina on water street and just watched @Giannis_An34 wait for a table for 10 minutes and no one helped him so he left... Dude just won Milwaukee a playoff game! Get him some service pic.twitter.com/hcjsJfThiA

— Morgan (@MoSokanhe) April 22, 2018

I think it’s fair to say you’re a bad Bucks fan if you don’t immediately tell your server to box up your food to go so Giannis can take a seat. 

(The restaurant issued an apology.)

“You’re talking to a man that just wet himself”

Let James Hinchcliffe regale you with a story about peeing himself this afternoon pic.twitter.com/qpNAHT1v7d

— Nick Bromberg (@NickBromberg) April 22, 2018

IndyCar driver James Hinchcliffe isn’t too proud to admit he peed his pants while sitting through a rain delay yesterday. The race got postponed until this afternoon, so Hinchcliffe will have had plenty of time to get his racing suit dry cleaned. 

Bits & Pieces

Flyers fans threw beer cans at Sidney Crosby but he had the best response. ... Justin Verlander also had a pretty clever response to a heckler. ... A Colorado man who survived a shark attack in Hawaii on Thursday has also been bitten by a bear and a rattlesnake in a little more than three years. ... Here’s a cool explanation of how voice recognition software works. ... Boxer Adrien Broner’s fight this weekend was declared a controversial draw, then he caused even more controversy with his post-fight comments. ... A woman was fined $500 by Customs and Border Patrol for taking her free apple from Delta off the plane. 

I’m tired just watching this

Angels pitcher Jaime Barria needed 21 pitches to retire Brandon Belt, a new record for longest ever plate appearance, in an at-bat that took nearly 13 minutes. 

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A post shared by Pitchersnation (@pitchersnation)

Pitch chart for Brandon Belt's at-bat, which lasted 12 minutes, 45 seconds ⏳

#SFGiants pic.twitter.com/GsrkeJGvPj

— SFGiants (@SFGiants) April 22, 2018

It may not have been great for pace of play, but Brandon Belt's epic 21-pitch at-bat lasted 12 minutes, 52 seconds. Belt, who also homered for the fourth straight game, saw 8.0 pitches per plate appearance, the most by a #SFGiants player in at least 30 years.

— Bob Nightengale (@BNightengale) April 23, 2018

But wait a second, noted baseball fan Keith Olbermann makes a good point. MLB has only been tracking pitch-by-pitch data for less than 30 years. He says Luke Appling is believed to have had a 24-pitch at-bat in 1940. 

Ban mascots

We’ve all been there

if anyone wants to know how drunk my boyfriend was last night pic.twitter.com/XHLagOLMC1

— tricia n sweeney (@makeesomenoyes) April 21, 2018

Put this in the Louvre

What a jerk

James Sicily stomps on Shaun Atley #seriousmisconduct #tribunal pic.twitter.com/fp0BiWp3g4

— giantroo (@giantroo) April 23, 2018

Steve Kerr is a delight

Steve Kerr knows Manu Ginobili is old because "he was my teammate and I'm old as dirt" 😂

🎥 @NBATV pic.twitter.com/3xCEhPmCnk

— SB Nation (@SBNation) April 22, 2018

Calling your own BMX race

I’m stunned this guy managed not only to speak coherently, but actually be really funny while defying death. 

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or ping me on Twitter. Click here for previous editions of Hot Clicks. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.