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Thursday’s Hot Clicks: Farcical College Lacrosse Game Ends With 52 Goals—All for One Team

Bloodbath is an understatement. 

Dan Gartland

KREX

Bloodbath is an understatement

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration at all to say that Tuesday’s men’s lacrosse game between Colorado Mesa University and Johnson & Wales-Denver is perhaps the most one-sided game in the history of NCAA sports. I’ve never seen anything like this box score. It’s on par with the Georgia Tech-Cumberland 220–0 game. 

First of all, CMU won the game 52–0. Fifty-two goals! That broke the all-time Division-II record of 33 goals in a game, which CMU tied in its game last year against JWU. The previous NCAA record for goals in a game by one team was 40 by Roanoke against Virginia Wesleyan in 1993. There were 21 CMU players who scored at least one goal. 

But that’s just the beginning of the destruction. The second most shocking stat is that JWU didn’t even get off a single shot during the game. Not one. Forget a shot on goal, the Wildcats weren’t even credited with a shot off target. CMU, meanwhile, had 81 shots, 68 of which were on goal. JWU goalie Austin Cruz was mercifully pulled after allowing 40 goals in 41 minutes and replaced by attackman Coleton Threlkeld. That’s like a hockey team pulling its goalie and putting a winger in net. 

CMU also held a 53–3 advantage on faceoffs and picked up 74 groundballs (loose balls) to JWU’s nine. CMU forced 24 turnovers only turned it over eight times. On the rare occasions that a CMU possession did not end in a goal, JWU only successfully cleared the ball out of its end six out of 17 times. 

Even the few highlights in this local news segment make it pretty obvious how wide the talent gap was. 

The game was called early with 7:37 left to play in the fourth quarter when a JWU player hit the CMU player who had just scored the 52nd goal of the game. The injured player, Harrison Evans, was placed in a neck brace and taken to the hospital, according to the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel. 

So the obvious question is, how did this happen? Johnson & Wales, a Rhode Island-based school, opened its Denver campus in 2000 and the athletic department is currently in the process of transitioning from NAIA to NCAA Division III. The Wildcats only have 18 players on their roster, 13 of whom played in the CMU game. That means they only had three subs in a sport where you change your midfielders out like hockey lines. Compare that to the 21 players who scored for CMU in just that one game. CMU, on the other hand, is a Division-II school, which means some of the players are on scholarship, while JWU’s squad is basically like a high school team. 

But JWU-Denver’s season isn’t a total disaster. They did manage to beat North Central University in Minneapolis in February, 13–10. 

What a move by Pop

Gregg Popovich did right by his old rival Dirk Nowitzki in his final game, telling his players not to double Dirk so he could hit one last fadeaway.

What a guy–both of them. 

Dirk was also moved to tears by the tribute video the Spurs gave him before the game. 

D-Wade put up a triple-double in his final game

With his old buddies LeBron, Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony in the house, Dwyane Wade stuffed the stat sheet in his last ever NBA game. He put up 25 points, 11 rebounds and 10 assists. Fittingly, the assist that clinched the triple-double was a dish to Udonis Haslem. 

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Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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Dan Gartland
DAN GARTLAND

Dan Gartland is the writer and editor of Sports Illustrated’s flagship daily newsletter, SI:AM, covering everything an educated sports fan needs to know. He joined the SI staff in 2014, having previously been published on Deadspin and Slate. Gartland, a graduate of Fordham University, is a former Sports Jeopardy! champion (Season 1, Episode 5).

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