Tuesday’s Hot Clicks: The Infield at Talladega Is What a NASCAR Apocalypse Would Look Like
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These photos are worth far more than 1,000 words
Talladega Superspeedway in Alabama is the party capital of NASCAR. Fans show up on Wednesday to start camping on the track’s infield before the race on Sunday and spend all weekend doing depraved things like wrestling in barbecue sauce.
When it’s all done, though, somebody has to clean up the mess left by tens of thousands of booze-soaked race fans. In the cold light of morning, the remnants of the weekend’s festivities look a lot less whimsical and much more like the aftermath of an Alabama apocolypse.
In recent years, the track’s Twitter account has taken to documenting the consequences (see the April 2018 edition here and the October 2018 edition here) and this year may be the best yet.
The track posted 24 tweets with photos of knee braces, stripper poles and many other things that had been set on fire. I’m going to embed them all here because it would be a crime to leave any of them out.
Brace yourselves. pic.twitter.com/fXBTx89Qq1
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
When you’re at ‘Dega but you can’t miss the latest episode of Seinfeld pic.twitter.com/K7lVfbPpgv
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
wtf happened here pic.twitter.com/WCfPhOQp1I
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
Don’t forget to bring a pic.twitter.com/HYhACTOxmx
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
Meat’s still smokin’ on the fire if anyone wants to come chill pic.twitter.com/SgsC0Lpa7w
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
lean back
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
(bonus points for the @Golden_Flake Sweet Heat BBQ flavor) pic.twitter.com/JmnrANFpXN
Saw some bread nearby.
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
Time for Operation: Find Bananas 🍌 pic.twitter.com/bqD1O8r2mn
art
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
and an electric razor ❓ pic.twitter.com/hy75RV2RWr
oh hey guys pic.twitter.com/Ft4yDMoBwx
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
Use your imagination pic.twitter.com/LFr3xzAsxp
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
Pausing here to say congratulations again to @chaseelliott! 🏁
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
Stay tuned for the finale... pic.twitter.com/4PIPQ6FrNA
And finally.......
— Talladega Superspeedway (@TALLADEGA) April 29, 2019
AMBER ⁉️ pic.twitter.com/srv9JjADbF
I think the massive amounts of empty Busch Light cans do a good job of explaining what happened here.
TMI, Joel
The Sixers weren’t sure if they’d have All-Star Joel Embiid in the lineup for Game 2 against the Raptors—not because his knee injury had flared up again but because he had a stomach bug.
How bad was it? “If you’ve had the shits before, you’d know how it feels,” Embiid said.
Embiid had an off shooting night (if you can blame him) but the Sixers gutted out a tough win behind a 30-point, 11-rebound performance from Jimmy Butler. Butler provided this intriguing biographical detail after the game.
Butler responds: "My name isn't James. It's literally Jimmy." https://t.co/OYdvGetzID
— Derek Bodner (@DerekBodnerNBA) April 30, 2019
Flopping isn’t just in the NBA playoffs
Robert Bortuzzo with three cross-checks. Esa Lindell with three embellishments. Both players penalized pic.twitter.com/TcvhIFZ0ZI
— Brady Trettenero (@BradyTrett) April 30, 2019
Get a load of Stars defenseman Esa Lindell flopping all over the place as he attempts to draw a penalty against Robert Bortuzzo. It worked, but Lindell got two minutes himself for embellishment.
This angle is by far the most damning, and it’s utterly hilarious.
Here are the penalties. pic.twitter.com/zt7K3HtPg1
— St. Louis Blues (@StLouisBlues) April 30, 2019
The best of SI
Chris Long reviews the much-hyped battle episode of Game of Thrones. ... Robert Klemko spoke to Josh Rosen at length about his time in Arizona and his trade to the Dolphins. ... Nationals pitcher Patrick Corbin issued a bases-loaded walk to the opposing pitcher, which is exceptionally rare.
Around the sports world
Tigers prospect Casey Mize threw a 98-pitch no-hitter in his first Double A start. ... Willians Astudillo is baseball’s most lovable up and coming player. ... The oily Tongan flag-bearer is hoping to qualify for the Olympics in two sports next year.
The Packers wasted no time giving away No. 52
😑😑😑 The body’s not even cold yet lol
— Clay Matthews III (@ClayMatthews52) April 29, 2019
Up and over!
Jeffrey Chandler makes one of the best catches we’ve ever seen! If this is not in the #SCTop10 then I don’t know what will be! Absolutely Amazing! @SportsCenter @espn @Starting9 pic.twitter.com/DQ71xM9bDM
— North Greenville Baseball (@NGUBaseball) April 26, 2019
Behind the scenes of the NHL’s three first-round Game 7s
Just your classic deer on the field delay
Harrison Bader is a defensive star
This ball had a catch probability of just 10% 😱 pic.twitter.com/tlef03x0ij
— St. Louis Cardinals (@Cardinals) April 30, 2019
Jon Bois’s videos are always amazing
This isn’t confusing at all
#Rays Lowe FAQs:
— MLB Pipeline (@MLBPipeline) April 29, 2019
Q) Are they related?
A) Nate & Josh are brothers.
Q) Who pronounces Lowe like it rhymes with Wow?
A) Brandon.
Q) Which one is the best?
A) They're all good. They ranked 8 (Nate), 9 (Brandon) and 15 (Josh) on the @RaysBaseball preseason Top 30 Prospects list. pic.twitter.com/7pWz0b3JBP
The newest sports power couple
Forever yes ♥️ @JozyAltidore pic.twitter.com/VVvUlrohtY
— sloanestephens (@SloaneStephens) April 29, 2019
Eyes in the back of her head
COURT VISION 🤩 @GTS_Fusion pic.twitter.com/ypySLRkVCq
— Overtime (@overtime) April 29, 2019
Not sports
Jeopardy! champ James Holzhauer squeaked out an 18th straight win by just an $18 margin. ... A beluga whale discovered swimming off the Norwegian coast is suspected of being a Russian spy. ... The number of dead people on Facebook is on pace to surpass the number of the living in 50 years, if Facebook even makes it that long. ... The people bankrolling the “Woodstock 50” anniversary show suddenly bailed, throwing the festival in doubt.
The Indian army claims to have found evidence the Yeti really exists
For the first time, an #IndianArmy Moutaineering Expedition Team has sited Mysterious Footprints of mythical beast 'Yeti' measuring 32x15 inches close to Makalu Base Camp on 09 April 2019. This elusive snowman has only been sighted at Makalu-Barun National Park in the past. pic.twitter.com/AMD4MYIgV7
— ADG PI - INDIAN ARMY (@adgpi) April 29, 2019
I wouldn’t have quit the jazz band in middle school if we played Wu Tang
good news everyone, turns out that I am cultured enough to like jazz music pic.twitter.com/wHRqLTOHA0
— josh (c) (@j0shc) April 29, 2019
A cool but useless way to test batteries
The spiritual successor to “Will It Blend?”
A good song
Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.