Ray Allen’s Hairline Is a Cruel Reminder of the Ravages of Time

In Wednesday’s Hot Clicks: Ray Allen stops shaving his head, the Bucs get new uniforms and more.

Ray Allen’s hairline is, appropriately, shaped like a three-point line

The prolonged period of social distancing is wreaking havoc on peoples’ grooming habits. When you’re not going out in public, you have no real reason to shave or to touch up your hair. Hell, with barber shops closed, everyone’s in the same boat. 

Ever since his days with the Sonics, we’ve become accustomed to seeing Ray Allen with a shaved head. But the Hall of Famer can’t be bothered to pull out the razor during lockdown. He posted on Instagram that pretty soon he’d be looking like Sherman Hemsley on The Jeffersons. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ray Allen (@trayfour)

Credit where it’s due, Allen actually had the guts to post a selfie of what he looks like now that he’s stopped shaving. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ray Allen (@trayfour)

Of course the guy who made his living from beyond the arc has a three-point line on his head. 

Allen is 44, so it makes total sense he’d look like this now, but then you realize that the reason he started shaving his head in Seattle is that he was already starting to look like that.  

As Slate writer Joel Anderson points out, guys in the NBA used to rock their natural hairline no matter how old it made them look. 

world b. free looked like he was nearing retirement his entire career. pic.twitter.com/hPaGffwvCA

— Joel D. Anderson 🆓 (@byjoelanderson) April 8, 2020

it’s no wonder that i thought 30-year-olds seemed so much older when i was a kid. so many of the men were rocking the sherman helmsley https://t.co/SOBtc3Xx1I

— Joel D. Anderson 🆓 (@byjoelanderson) April 8, 2020

Nate thurmond handling frontcourt duties for this squad pic.twitter.com/VbwAu4O6Gw

— runnin'💛 ☝️ (@busyxb) April 8, 2020

Allen says he’s going to keep this look going “until the ‘Rona’ kicks rocks!” He’s also challenging several of his bald NBA contemporaries to follow his example, like Richard Jefferson, Rip Hamilton, Carlos Boozer and Stephon Marbury. Marbury has already responded with an emphatic “nah” because “no one is seeing my cow lick.”

The best of SI

Mike Gundy has a plan to play football during the pandemic, and it’s ridiculous. ... The Bucs should have brought back their creamsicle uniforms. ... How are MLB players adjusting to life at home during what should be their season?

Around the sports world

John Harbaugh is concerned about NFL teams’ draft conference calls getting hacked. ... Tottenham Hotspur owner Daniel Levy is considering using the team’s grounds crew to do the landscaping on his estate. ... Dana White’s “private island” being used for UFC events is actually some tribal land near Fresno.

Here’s what the Bucs will be wearing next year

Allow us to show you the future 😏#GoBucs pic.twitter.com/naURTtwkZ3

— Tampa Bay Buccaneers (@Buccaneers) April 7, 2020

Never going to not be weird

Just delivered to my front door...

NEW team, NEW uniform.

Your first look at the @TomBrady @Buccaneers jersey. pic.twitter.com/24aEkd9qqM

— Andrew Siciliano (@AndrewSiciliano) April 8, 2020

The Falcons’ new jerseys also leaked

New Falcons uniforms poll based on leaked images. Going to do a poll after the formal reveal also and compare it to this poll. pic.twitter.com/mmkVCoQPKX

— FB_Helmet_Guy (@FB_Helmet_Guy) April 7, 2020

46 years ago today

I wrote a little something when Craig Sager died in 2016 about his unique involvement with Aaron’s milestone homer.

SNY is simulating Mets games in MLB the Show and got the usual broadcast crew to call one

We were all thinking it

One Mets player who asked not to be identified has concerns about the idea of 30 teams playing an entire summer in Arizona: "It's the desert," he said. "Stuff doesn't live there, it dies there."

— Mike Puma (@NYPost_Mets) April 7, 2020

I had no idea this was a thing

Yeah, back then faceoffs in the offensive zone could be anywhere between the dots to the blueline.

— Down Goes Brown (@DownGoesBrown) April 7, 2020

Fed is dressed for Wimbledon

Here’s a helpful solo drill. Let’s see what you got! Reply back with a video and I’ll provide some tips. Choose your hat wisely 🎩😉👊 #tennisathome pic.twitter.com/05lliIqh1h

— Roger Federer (@rogerfederer) April 7, 2020

Another workout you can do at home

Nico Hischier is on IG doing push-ups into MF backflips. MY KING. pic.twitter.com/FiYntEAdiq

— Drew (@DrewMacFarlane) April 7, 2020

Not sports

This smart toilet identifies you by reading your butthole like a fingerprint. ... Two hawks bred to create a rare hybrid offspring. ... TV networks may start airing streaming shows to fill coronavirus-related programming holes. ... People are all up in arms about Wheel of Fortune inviting a contestant back for a second time over a technicality.

The good news is you figured out cloning

So he wasn’t really playing a character on 30 Rock

Hoda asks Tracy Morgan how he’s spending quarantine . He says he’s impregnated his wife 3 times.

“We’re role playing. She’s playing a young maiden whose grandfather was infected with coronavirus & I’m scientist who discovered the cure.” pic.twitter.com/Ovu4ZOGpJU

— David Mack (@davidmackau) April 7, 2020

A good song

Email dan.gartland@si.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.