Cowboys DC Mike Nolan Forced to Halt Press Conference After Rubbing Hot Sauce in Eye

In Tuesday’s Hot Clicks: Tabasco sauce accomplishes what the Cowboys’ defense can’t, Johnny Hekker’s punting highlight reel and more.

That’s the first time he’s been responsible for a stop this season

As bad as the NFC East is this year, the Cowboys’ defense may be the worst unit in the division. Thus far, they’ve allowed a league-high 243 points in seven games. That’s nearly 35 points per game. They’re allowing 408.1 total yards per game (sixth worst in the league), 178.3 rushing yards per game (worst in the league by a wide margin) and have forced only three turnovers (tied for fewest in the league). 

All year long, defensive coordinator Mike Nolan hasn’t been able to dial up a stop to save his life, but on Monday afternoon he had the improbable stop of the season. Nolan was forced to walk out of his conference call with the media after he rubbed hot sauce in his eye. 

Cowboys defensive coordinator Mike Nolan had to stop a call with reporters because he accidentally rubbed hot sauce in his eye 😅 🌶️ pic.twitter.com/nXSCjcBIqx

— ESPN (@espn) October 27, 2020

If that—a sudden, unexpected sensation of searing pain caused by a combination of sloppiness and negligence—doesn’t describe the experience of being a Cowboys fan in 2020, I don’t know what does.

Nolan was eventually able to return to the podium after the burning sensation went away. 

He’s lucky it was Tabasco, which is mostly vinegar, and not a more chili-pepper-based sauce like sriracha. It’s the capsaicin in peppers that’s really difficult to get out of your eyes. (The trick is to use milk, because capsaicin is fat-soluble.) 

If he’d watched the hit YouTube series Hot Ones, Nolan would know you’re never supposed to touch your eyes after eating something with hot sauce. You’re supposed to avoid touching your face these days anyway, so the hot sauce is just an extra incentive to keep your hands away from there. 

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Can Lane sit in on a math class this week? 

😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/2DqGrDkcMU

— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) October 27, 2020

Spectacular footwork here

.@JalenRamsey will take that. #RamsHouse

📺: #CHIvsLAR on ESPN
📱: NFL app // Yahoo Sports app: https://t.co/3oWB2RFTjr pic.twitter.com/o7Rp1rCtiR

— NFL (@NFL) October 27, 2020

Johnny Hekker is the LeBron James of punting

WATERMELON PUNT 😳 @JHekker @RamsNFL

📺 #CHIvsLAR on ESPN pic.twitter.com/JIoXU4R6bG

— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) October 27, 2020

(Here’s his full highlight reel, which the NFL won’t allow me to embed here because it has the worst online video policy of any U.S. sports league.)

Ron Rivera finished his cancer treatments without missing a game

It's a different kind of Victory Monday 💛#RiveraStrong pic.twitter.com/tgiZgOpBGC

— Washington Commanders (@Commanders) October 26, 2020

How it started. How it’s going! pic.twitter.com/PbBMovYIel

— Ron Rivera (@RiverboatRonHC) October 26, 2020

“I just sat there in my chair with tears running down my face”

Last night Kyle Korver explained the decision for the Milwaukee Bucks to stick together during an intense locker room meeting inside the NBA Bubble, and how it helped bring about change. pic.twitter.com/1wPi4brcyN

— Creighton Bluejays (@gocreighton) October 27, 2020

You can’t coach that

Ok, I can't get over this. Denzel Ward literally SLIDES underneath the block to blow up the WR screen pic.twitter.com/VeqnLuZ23u

— Jordan Zirm (@JordanZirm) October 26, 2020

He wasn’t just talking trash, though. He made a good point about why he doesn’t respect Dekker.

Throughout his 16-year career, J.R. Smith has had only 1 teammate that he really didn't like.

That teammate: Sam Dekker

With that being said, I'm all the way out on Sam Dekker. pic.twitter.com/j59f1eNbdE

— Eric (@E_DeBerardinis) October 21, 2020

Not sports

NASA has discovered evidence of frozen water on the moon. ... Crews wearing suits straight out of a sci-fi movie were called in to deal with a nest of “murder hornets” in Washington. ... The world’s first handheld calculator is up for auction. 

If you know, you know

Kazakhstan’s tourism board is leaning into the Borat association

Snowpiercer in real life

So that’s why he refuses to take his helmet off

A new MANDALORIAN action figure has been revealed...however something seems slightly off. pic.twitter.com/AiSDzTApoD

— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) October 26, 2020

A floating office in the East River

A good song

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