Brian Murphy: Did ChatGPT bot write insulting Timberwolves press release?
Contempt for the audience is no way to leverage a successful business model, but you must admire the NBA’s consistent persistence.
Load management is a load of false advertising. We’ve known that for years. But the concept is poisoning the league’s credibility as transparency becomes fungible in commissioner Adam Silver’s contemptuous world.
The Minnesota Timberwolves cannot even be bothered to provide a stitch of sincerity about their injured superstar, Karl Anthony Towns, who has been sidelined more than three months with a calf injury that is as sacred as nuclear codes.
The forlorn franchise released an 85-word statement Wednesday that was comical in its opaqueness if it weren’t so insulting.
“Towns is continuing to progress in his rehabilitation program and has been participating in basketball activities,” according to the top patty of this nothing burger.
“He is expected to return in the coming weeks and further updates to his playing status will be provided when available.”
Ouch. My forehead just slammed the coffee table after I nodded off the couch.
Here’s hoping a ChatGPT bot wrote that news release and not a real human being with genuine intelligence earning a real salary. Is it asking too much to treat fans who invest kingly sums of time and treasure with a little dignity and respect?
Nothing in those 85 dismissive words say anything substantive about the $224 million supermax savior who has been in bubble wrap since Thanksgiving.
It might as well have said, “F-off, you’re bothering us.”
The Timberwolves have 12 regular-season games remaining after playing host to the Boston Celtics Wednesday at Target Center. “Weeks” is a relative term when there are only 3 ½ left until the playoffs start.
The first real timeline the team offered since Towns went down in a heap with a torn calf muscle Nov. 28 could mean April 1 … or training camp.
“Continuing to progress in his rehabilitation program” is another nothing burger patty that means Towns is rehabilitating.
From what, exactly? Are the Timberwolves barred from mentioning anatomy?
The only details about Towns’ injury have come from him livestreaming a couple updates on the video gaming streaming platform, Twitch, when he accused the Timberwolves of misleading the public with an initial 4-to-6-week recovery.
Except Minnesota never announced that. ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski dropped that bomb days after his injury, citing anonymous sources.
Before Thursday, the Timberwolves have been a sphinx when it comes to official information, beyond head coach Chris Finch’s vague answers over the last few months.
After the Feb. 19 all-star break, Finch told reporters his big man was in the “final stages” of rehab. That was four weeks ago.
Minnesota’s statement said Towns “has been participating in basketball activities.” Meaning what, exactly? Handling a ball on a hardwood floor?
Beat writers have reported last week Towns performed live-action drills with player development staff -- 2 on 2 drills on a side court against little or no defense.
OK, so what does this all mean? This is cloak and dagger ineptness that would make Inspector Clouseau blush. And so unnecessary.
If Towns and his camp do not want details about his injury released, then just say so. We can respect his privacy.
Except he blabbed all about it online Jan. 19, revealing it was a Grade 3 strain – the most severe tear, which sometimes requires surgery and generally requires two to three months to recover.
“It was never a Grade 2. It was never going to be a Grade 2, unfortunately,” Towns said on Twitch. “I prayed to God almighty that it was a Grade 2, but I knew it wasn’t.”
He said it was the Timberwolves who intimated the more optimistic 4–6-week timeline.
“There was no way with the injury I sustained, it’s a very significant injury,” he said. “I don’t know if they were trying to give false hope to the fans or what the case may be.”
False hope, miscommunication, arrogance. A multitude of sins that only makes Minnesota’s ambiguity more offensive.
It is imperative that Towns fully recover, not only to fortify the Timberwolves’ playoff chances, but to justify the ransom they paid to acquire Rudy Gobert from Utah last offseason.
Minnesota was an ugly 10-11 with Gobert and Towns in the lineup. Not enough time to create chemistry or solidify a working relationship between two big men in a perimeter league.
Towns is an offensive dynamo and 3-point bomber who can be lethal anywhere on the floor. The trade deadline deal that brought veteran point guard Mike Conley aboard from the Jazz remains an incomplete assessment until Towns returns.
How effective he will be remains an even greater mystery. We need answers for a team that finished 10 games over .500 last season and won a play-in game to reward a forsaken fan base with an exciting playoff series that created heightened expectations for 2022-23.
A fan base given the runaround about Towns instead of being treated like adults capable of hearing hard truths.
Or just a straight answer.
