Brian Murphy: Inept Twins are unwatchable, unlikable
The Twins are unveiling an augmented reality fan experience at Target Field just as their 2022 postseason aspirations are crashing and burning in the real world.
You may have missed the front office’s innovative announcement this week in the smoldering wreckage of Minnesota’s offense and manager Rocco Baldelli’s August transformation from dugout monk to umpire hit man.
The team partnered with a global digital marketing company to launch ARound. The first-of-its-kind interactive platform lets fans compete or collaborate to play real-time 3D games and other multi-player activities during ballgames.
Simply aim your phone at the field and hook up with thousands of fellow fans to do anything else but watch the rotting product on the field.
“It’s the potential for all 30,000 fans in the stadium to participate in the same shared experience that’s contextual to where they are sitting within the facility,” Chris Iles, senior director of brand experience and innovation, told reporters.
And here I thought the same shared experience of attending a major league baseball game was the actual ballgame. Silly dinosaur.
Unfortunate timing as the Twins and their AWOL hitters stumble through the dark of their sunsetting season. Or maybe it is pure genius, since inertia and ineptitude are the only things happening for the club at the ballpark this summer.
Minnesota woke up June 1 with a five-game lead over Cleveland and Chicago in the American League Central. The Twins have played losing baseball since and entered Friday night’s game against San Francisco a season-high four games behind.
It’s not their first six-game losing streak in eight years that is turning the stretch drive into a funeral march. Or the 11 road losses in 13 games. Or their straining just to hit a buck fifty in the last week.
It’s how they look and carry themselves through perpetual ineptness. They are unwatchable. Worse, they’re unlikable. I never thought that was possible after two decades of alpha-male rulers and pranksters in the clubhouse, from the piranhas to the Bomba Squad. There is so little to invest time and treasure.
No wonder the game operations staff is mainlining an untapped revenue stream such as ARound. Desperately trying to diversify and entertain a younger fan base and keep them in their seats for something other than waiting 4 minutes for a ball to be put into play.
Heaven forbid a Twins hitter delivers with runners in scoring position. The Twins have been so un-clutch this season they are among the bottom third in almost every offensive category. Choking on the exhaust of every other playoff contender.
Say the Twins rally and grind their way to an 85-win division title, does anyone truly believe they can defeat the Astros, Yankees or Blue Jays in a best-of-five series? Or even snap their ghastly 18-game postseason losing streak?
It should not have come to this autopsy, but here we are.
Carlos Correa and his $35 million layover is the biggest bust in Minneapolis since Reggie Fowler mop-sweated through his debt-riddled finances trying to explain how he could possibly buy the Vikings.
Byron Buxton Can’t Stay Healthy has become a sad cut-and-paste headline.
Prospects like Alex Kirilloff and Royce Lewis repeatedly have been bitten by the injury bug. Miguel Sano is a ghost. Same with Max Kepler, although his name remains in the lineup every unfulfilling day.
Starting pitching has been serviceable enough to contend. But a leaky bullpen, led by chief sieve Emilio Pagan, remains an embarrassment, despite management’s noble efforts to plug holes at the trade deadline.
Even Baldelli, the mild-mannered sage who never has an unkind word to say about anyone -- deserving or not -- is losing his mind while frantically pulling every motivational lever he can.
Fighting with umpires. Throwing his hat. Stomping around and airing grievances through the media.
After Minnesota’s fifth straight loss Wednesday against the Astros, Baldelli pivoted to court jester in a transparent attempt to relieve the growing tension.
“Let’s play the best possible baseball that we can and have zero cares about anything except playing the game,” he said.
Problem is, the fan base has had zero cares for months.
Attending a game at Target Field feels like a wake, and not an Irish one. It is a solemn, 3-plus hour wallet-sucking experience waiting for something positive to happen. Or something to happen at all.
Augmented realities?
Touch ’em all.
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