Brian Murphy: Let this be your mulligan, Vikings
As buzzkills go, the Vikings’ humbling homecoming was Cousin Eddie rolling up unannounced in his rust bucket with an empty wallet and a full crapper.
If I woke up Monday with my face epoxied to Clark Griswold’s garage floor, I wouldn’t be more surprised than watching how the Dallas Cowboys de-pantsed Minnesota 40-3 at US Bank Stadium.
No way to treat a brash crowd that liquored. Or a quarterback that vulnerable. The only bling hanging around Kirk Cousins in the days ahead will be a toe tag unless coach Kevin O’Connell spot-welds the fissures on his offensive line.
Porous pass protection is chief among the exposed issues facing an 8-2 team that is playing with stacks of house money under the piercing eyes of suspicious pit bosses.
I’ll spare the laundry list of woes that plagued Minnesota during its ugliest home loss since JFK booked a trip to Texas. It was a concerted failure. Not necessarily fatal, but obviously alarming.
Everyone could see challenges lurking over the horizon. The inconsistent Vikings have led consistently charmed lives since narrowly defeating Detroit in Week 3.
Every conceivable break went their way, from officiating and turnovers to special teams and special plays by their special players. Not to mention the once-in-a-century opportunity they seized last week when Josh Allen fumbled in the end zone during the final frenzied minutes in Buffalo.
To be sure, they were due for a reckoning. Just not all at once. At home. In such an ugly manner. To a perennially overrated Dallas team that had just choked away a 14-point lead at Lambeau Field to the sad-sack Packers.
But here are the Vikings, suddenly staring into the abyss and the beady eyes of Bill Belichick. No time to marinate in the misery. Not with the Zen Master of quick turnarounds coming to town with the unpredictable but always dangerous Patriots.
Hosting a Thanksgiving game is a first for Minnesota. No telling how bloated Vikings fans and a drowsy national television audience will process this clash after spending the day binging on carbs and boozing their way through familial avoidance.
Another home loss could be psychologically devastating despite the seemingly insurmountable lead Minnesota has built in the NFC North. This market is so conditioned to the other shoe dropping because it’s usually an iron boot.
Inhale deeply. Not the glass pipe, but a brown paper bag if necessary. This is a flawed team. No secret there. Adversity has been lurking since the autumn solstice.
We’re going to see how O’Connell handles eating his first bowl of NFL sludge. Every head coach plunges a fork into one eventually. Belichick and a schematic reboot on short notice is a tasty helping of rookie discomfort.
“A huge opportunity for our team to really look inward,” O’Connell said. “We expect in these tough times to be able to rely on our locker room, our players, and our coaches, and we’ll be right back here in four days with an opportunity to get this taste out of our mouth.”
Keep gargling Kevin, et al.
It’s all fun and games when you’re juggling golden horseshoes and pulling others out of your you know what. How leaders of men who were physically dominated and mentally humiliated respond will define whether maturing coaches like O’Connell can last in a brutally unforgiving league.
Belichick has made a career out of collecting Super Bowl rings and the souls of overconfident day trippers who don’t know what they don’t know. I can’t shake the image of Rex Ryan from Thanksgiving 2012.
I don’t see O’Connell addressing foot fetishes and butt fumbles anytime soon. But there is a short shelf life for boy wonders who get in over their heads when things get out of hand.
Minnesota’s house-of-cards reputation is ripe for validation unless O’Connell and his offensive staff create ways to keep Cousins upright in the pocket. The Cowboys and their relentless pressure scripted a defensive game plan for Belichick and the Vikings’ remaining opponents to download.
With left tackle Christian Darrisaw back in concussion protocol, it is up to the three veteran starters and rookie Ed Ingram to help back-up Blake Brandel and keep the sixth-round afterthought out of the headlights of oncoming traffic.
Anything to buy Cousins more time to find Justin Jefferson and company downfield before the Vikings have to put Dalvin Cook and their running game on dry ice when their perpetual deficits explode into double digits like they did Sunday.
Of course the Vikings control their destiny. Their remaining schedule sets up nicely with four of their next five games at home. And a seven-game finishing stretch against teams with a collective 34-38-1 record.
The Giants and Jets still look vulnerable after pathetic losses yesterday to Detroit and New England, respectively. The Colts are a running joke. And those frigid road games at Green Bay and Chicago in January do not look very daunting anymore.
This is the Vikings’ 2022 Mulligan. Their only wake-up call. Naptime is over.
Cousin Eddie’s at the dinner table. And he needs money.
After yesterday’s fiasco, it is the price they have to pay.
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