The Ranking: Tiger's Return, Rangegoats (?), JT at the Super Bowl and Musical Chairs for No. 1

Gary Van Sickle took in all the festivities at TPC Scottsdale, cashing a ticket on Scottie and getting an unforgettable answer from Jon Rahm.

Some things The Ranking staff learned during WM Phoenix Open Week and before betting Jalen Hurts to score the Super Bowl’s first touchdown, proving that even a blind pig can find PAC money once in a while and get elected to Congress.

10. It’s Masters Weak-end

Augusta National isn’t getting older, it’s getting longer. The new media guide shows just how much as the 13th hole, whose tee box was moved back onto land that was neighboring Augusta Country Club’s course, has bumped up from 510 yards to 545 yards. The course total yardage is listed at 7,545 yards. The 13th annually ranked as the weakest par 5 and the easiest hole on the course. After the changes, it will probably rank … well, just about the same.

9. Eight Thousand Reasons to Avoid Utah

Tiger Woods is going to design a golf course at Marcella Club in Park City, Utah. It will be part of an exclusive 36-hole club limited to 500 members. The course Woods is doing is expected to open in 2025 and be more than 8,000 yards long. Because you’ve gotta protect par against those long-hitting 15-handicappers.

8. Luckily, IKEA Takes Returns

The Internet is still a bully. Photos showed a surprise addition around the famed Swilcan Bridge at the Old Course—patio stones, apparently to cover the bare spots on the entrance and exit where the grass typically suffers the most wear and tear. Two days later, after a deluge of criticism on the net, the St. Andrews Links Trust admitted its miscalculation and re-installed turf. No word on a rumored Starbucks there yet.

7. Does This New Name Float Your Goat?

The LIV Golf teams, which began play with names seemingly straight out of a YMCA softball league, upgraded its branding, colors and logos, the better to sell merch and drum up interest. The tweaks weren’t much different for the most part but Bubba Watson’s team, formerly the Niblicks, are now the Rangegoats and have a goat's-head logo that is the best of LIV. Goats, Watson said, stands for “Golfers On A Team,” not to be confused with Greatest Of All-Time. Or, including the "s," Groundhogs Over At The Shadow.

New year, new look... Welcome to #LIVGolf League 2023 🔥

Who you backing? Follow below 👇@4acesgc_@cleeks_gc@Crushers_GC@fireballsgc_@HyFlyers_GC@ironheadsgc_@majesticksgc@RangeGoatsGC@rippergc_@SmashGC@stingergc_@TorqueGC_ pic.twitter.com/oC2T4Ormpd

— LIV Golf (@livgolf_league) February 7, 2023

6. Gratuitous Mention of David Frost

The WM Phoenix Open got a late start Thursday because of frost (the white stuff on the grass, not the guy who won the Hardee’s Classic twice or the British talk show wit), causing nearly half the field not to finish. That confused The Ranking’s czar, who played 18 holes at a public course in Mesa by 8 a.m., drove 30 minutes to TPC Scottsdale and arrived to find the PGA Tour players still lounging around due to the aforementioned frost. This caused The Ranking czar to be horribly inconvenienced. Enough said.

5. It Happened One Night

The Ranking asked Spanish star Jon Rahm if he had a souvenir of any kind from when he first ascended to No. 1 in the world rankings after winning the 2020 Memorial Tournament. “I do, his name is Kepa. He’s almost two years old,” Rahm said, referring to his son, who was born approximately nine months after that win. Rahm said his wife, Kelley, could tell the story better and added, “We suspect it was that night. Sorry, Kelley.” After that too-revealing glimpse, he’d better come up big on Valentine’s Day.

4. How to Jinx Yourself

Asked before the Phoenix Open if he felt like the world’s best player, Rory McIlroy boldly answered, “Yes. I do.” He explained why: “Consistency-wise, I’ve been as good as I’ve ever been in my career. I think the results speak for themselves.” At Phoenix, the results said McIlroy tied for 32nd, 15 strokes behind Scottie Scheffler, who won the tournament and bumped McIlroy out of the No. 1 world ranking. Thus ended McIlroy’s ninth stint at No 1.

3. A Tiger Sighting

It doesn’t matter to the public that Tiger Woods posted a 75, three 78s and two 79s last year in the three tournaments he played. It only matters that he signed up to play the Genesis Invitational at Riviera Country Club this week, his first PGA Tour event since July’s British Open. He and his son, Charlie, competed in the PNC Championship, an unofficial off-season event in December. Odd Tiger trivia: Woods has never won at Riviera.

2. The Stupor Bowl

Any actual NFL writer will tell you what’s wrong with the Super Bowl is the pregame media day in which fake news media get credentialed and attends. PGA Championship winner Justin Thomas was among them. He was mic’d up with a camera following him around and dared to ask a few questions.

Points for JT: He asked Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes if he’d use his ankle injury to “negotiate strokes” when he plays golf because Mahomes took the opportunity to throw Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers under the bus, saying, “I heard Aaron let someone negotiate him strokes at Pebble Beach. I heard that second-hand, that’s not what I’m saying.”

"Reporter" Justin Thomas got some time with Jalen Hurts at Super Bowl media day :: David J. Philip/AP

Demerit for JT: He asked Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts, who transferred from Alabama to Oklahoma, which school he “was claiming.” Hurts smiled and walked on while JT amateurishly called out, “Roll Tide!”

Point for JT: He was interviewed by Twitter personality and former pro golfer Paige Spiranac (yep, she was credentialed, too) and said, “I really don’t know what I’m doing here.” Agreed.

1. Musical Chairs

The Ranking confidently took a pre-tournament flyer on Scottie Scheffler to win a second straight WM Phoenix Open at 12-1 odds and, like all gamblers, kicked itself for not wagering more. Scheffler needed several clutch putts to outlast the very game Canadian Nick Taylor, get the win, and regain the No. 1 world ranking. This could be a great year for golf as Scheffler, McIlroy and Rahm potentially swap the No. 1 ranking between them all summer. They look like a temporary new Big Three. But The Ranking isn’t laying any money on that. There is no wagering at Bushwood, sir.