A Haiku for Every MLB Team

The playoffs are around the corner, which means it’s time for SI’s tradition of wrapping up the regular season with a haiku to describe each team.

Ohtani and the Dodgers are title favorites after a dominant regular season. / Jayne Kamin-Oncea-Imagn Images

It’s become somewhat of a tradition here at Sports Illustrated to craft haikus describing each MLB team’s campaign once the regular season comes to a close. Well, we’ve just about reached that point. And while the final two National League playoff spots may not be decided until Monday, we have enough information to capture the essence of each team. 

Without further ado, here are our 2024 haikus. 

Arizona Diamondbacks

Pitching staff letdown
League’s highest-scoring offense
Should equal more wins

Atlanta Braves

Injuries hit hard
Seems like it’s just not their year
But can’t count them out

Baltimore Orioles

Youth movement complete
Great expectations on deck
Still need more pitching

Boston Red Sox

Slowly but surely
The Red Sox are reloading
Spending spree awaits?

Chicago Cubs

Craig Counsell arrived
Still placed behind his old team
Bullpen must improve

Chicago White Sox

We knew they’d be bad
But who thought this was coming?
Humiliating

Cincinnati Reds

Big disappointment 
Every young bat stagnated
Except for Elly 

Cleveland Guardians

Best of great Central
Despite starter injuries
Vogt: inspired hire

Colorado Rockies

So, what’s the plan here?
100 losses, again
Rudderless Rockies

Detroit Tigers

Skubal won the Cy
Young hitters turned the corner
Suddenly, playoffs?

The Tigers are back in the playoffs after a 10-year postseason drought. / Junfu Han / USA TODAY NETWORK via Imagn Images

Houston Astros

Left for dead by May
Yet alive in October
They still own the West

Kansas City Royals

What a turnaround
Pitching makeover: Success
Need a few bats, though

Los Angeles Angels

Playoff drought persists
No Shohei, many problems
Please let Mike Trout go

Los Angeles Dodgers

Shohei stole the show
But the whole lineup can rake
Title is in sight

Miami Marlins

Bruce Sherman’s new film:
How to Lose a Playoff Team
Get out of there, Skip

Milwaukee Brewers

Crew keeps on chugging
No Craig, no Stearns, no problem
How do they do it?

Minnesota Twins

From playoff win drought
To rough September collapse
Tough pill to swallow

New York Mets

Ahead of schedule
Lindor’s best season in Queens
OMG … Grimace

New York Yankees

Judge, Soto carried
Only October matters
Do or die for Boone

Judge and the Yankees clinched the AL East. / Vincent Carchietta-Imagn Images

Oakland Athletics

A’s fans deserved more
Sacramento, here we come 
Sell the team, Fisher

Philadelphia Phillies

Team on a mission
Dethroned Braves in division
Built for October

Pittsburgh Pirates

Skenes brought excitement
Cheap lineup gave cheap results
Future looking bright

San Diego Padres

Preller strikes again 
Reloaded squad looking good
Seidler would be proud

San Francisco Giants

Stuck in no man’s land
New manager, same results
Farhan on hot seat

Seattle Mariners

Bats never woke up
Wasting a great rotation
So close yet so far

St. Louis Cardinals

Old arms ate innings
But Nolan, Goldy declined
Time to turn the page

Tampa Bay Rays

Not enough sluggers
Arms not up to Rays’ high bar
Mediocrity

Texas Rangers

Series hangover?
Never got hot or healthy
Throw it out; move on

Toronto Blue Jays

Vladdy needs some help
If he’s gonna stick around
Tough choices ahead

Washington Nationals

Growing pains are tough
But despite the poor record
Long-term core looks good