Rangers Panic Button: Still Too Early?

Semien's slump, Kidd's coaching, Cowboys coincidences and cryptocurrency confusion, all in this week's DFW sport notebook.

 WHITT’S END: 4.29.22

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*How early is too early? To hit the Texas Rangers panic button, I mean. It’s not just that they lost three in a row to the Houston Astros and are already seven games under .500 at 6-13. It’s how they’re losing. Without hitting. With shaky bullpen pitching. More alarmingly, with minuscule return on their massive investment. Despite Corey Seager’s 9th-inning homer in Thursday’s 3-2 loss in Arlington, Texas’ 1-2-3 batters are hitting .189, worst in all of baseball. The main culprit is Marcus Semien, he of the $175 million contract. Through three weeks he has more strikeouts (16) than hits (12) and is hitting a brisk .158 with 0 homers in 72 at-bats. The calendar hasn’t yet turned to May, but for the Rangers it’s getting late early.

*Just wait 11 years and our DFW stars will finally align. Before Thursday night, the last time a Dallas Cowboys NFL Draft first round coincided with a Dallas Mavericks NBA playoff first round was April 28, 2011. This is where the similarities get weird, if not downright eerie. On that night the Cowboys selected an offensive tackle named Tyron Smith, a couple hours before the Mavs won a series-clinching Game 6 on the road. On Thursday night the Cowboys selected an offensive tackle named Tyler Smith, a couple hours before the Mavs won a series-clinching Game 6 on the road. As one of the best offensive linemen in franchise history, Tyron Smith went on make eight Pro Bowls and earn a spot on the NFL’s 2010s All-Decade Team. And, of course, the Mavs used the Game 6 victory over the Portland Trailblazers to launch their run to the NBA championship. If this is just a déjà vu dream, don’t wake us up.

*Utah’s Delta Center-turned-Vivint-Arena: Site of the first playoff series win for both Dirk Nowitzki and Luka Doncic.

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Martin Perez

Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

Adolis Garcia

Adam Cairns-Augusta Chronicle/USA TODAY Sports

Scottie Scheffler

*Jalen Brunson capped his impeccable series by scoring the final four points in Dallas’ 98-96 win, but credit Spencer Dinwiddie’s defense – and some luck – for the Mavs advancing to the second round for the first time since 2011. It was Dinwiddie who harassed Utah’s Mike Conley into a key traveling turnover in the final seconds. But it was also Dinwiddie who jumped out of the gym biting on a pump fake, only to exhale once Bojan Bogdanovic’s wide-open corner 3-pointer fell woefully short and off the side of the rim at the buzzer.

*Cowboys promise that Tyler Smith is a “mauler” that can be better than an adequate Terence Steele today and better than an aging Tyron Smith tomorrow. Jerry Jones swears Dallas had Tyler Smith graded higher than more-heralded offensive linemen Kenyon Green and Zion Johnson. Roll your eyes and spew your skepticism, but no team has drafted more All-Pro players the last 12 years than the Cowboys. Maybe it’s time we give them the benefit of the doubt?

*Mavs coach Jason Kidd deserves praise for his first-round strategy to run the Jazz off the 3-point line. Story of the series: Dallas outscored Utah from beyond the arc by a staggering 132 points. During the regular season Utah made 14.5 3s per game; in this series only 8.2. Game. Set. Match.

*Luka’s NBA debut came in Phoenix on Oct. 17, 2018, when he went 0 of 5 on 3-pointers and scored only 10 points in a 21-point loss. As the Mavs and Suns begin their conference semifinal series Monday night in the Valley of the Sun, Doncic is a different, better player that will attract an array of Suns’ defenders. Phoenix’ Mikal Bridges is long enough to bother his 3-pointers and former Mav Jae Crowder is physical enough to bump him off course en route to his trademark, slow-motion drives into the lane.

*The Mavs have lost nine in a row to the Suns, including all three games this season. Doncic, however, didn’t play in two of the three and in every game Dallas led entering the fourth quarter. Ominous? Perhaps. But remember, the Mavs had lost 11 consecutive games in Salt Lake City before winning Games 3 and 6.

*Went to a 4-year-old birthday party last weekend complete with bounce house, cake, presents, friends, family, the works. Very sweet. But it got me to wondering: will the birthday girl remember it? (That’s me holding her younger brother, FYI.) My first memory is of standing up in the front of the car – remember when that was a thing? – while Dad drove through the streets of Duncanville. I must’ve been five or six. Zero recollections of any 3-year-old birthday parties. You?

*Brunson’s 27.8 points per game in the Jazz series are the most in NBA history by a player committing five or fewer turnovers, topping the mark of 27.2 set by none other than Larry Bird in 1986.

*Hope the Mavs wear their protective cups against Phoenix, because at some point it’s almost guaranteed Suns point guard Chris Paul will accidentally-on-purpose hit one of them in the family jewels. Evidenced by his 14-of-14, 33-point performance in the Game 6 closeout win Thursday night in New Orleans, the 37-year-old Paul is one of the greatest point guards of all-time. He’s also one of the dirtiest. Just ask Julius Hodge, Kevin Durant, Chris Kaman or – earlier this week – the Pelicans’ Jose Alvarado. If you start to get the best of him, you’ll bring out the worst in him. And, no, it’s not gamesmanship. It’s gross.

*Cryptocurrency. Bitcoin. Blockchain. NFTs. As a 57-year-old sportswriter raised on typewriters and Blackie Sherrod, I am admittedly an old dog unenthusiastic about learning new tricks. But I also remember my initial chagrin in 1994(ish) at learning about this newfangled gizmo called the Internet. It’s cool for old folks not to care about – to be above – new technology. Shun if you wish, lest you become a dinosaur suddenly grumbling about a scarcity of 8-track players. The sports digital collectible market is expected to generate over $2 billion and reach millions of passionate sports fans this year, as some of the world’s most iconic sports stars like Patrick Mahomes and Ja Morant get into the game. Fine. So I posed a hypothetical to my financial advisor last week: “If I had $10,000 should I invest it in Bitcoin or NFTs or something confusing-yet-potentially profitable?” His short answer: “Only if you have the stomach for a market that is extremely volatile and unpredictable. Just know going in that your investment could be gone overnight. We don’t have a track record or any reliable signposts to predict how these things will turn.” No thanks. If I need that kind of adrenalin rush, I’ll just place a $10,000 sports bet. Sincerely, Dinosaur.

*Draft success = Super Bowl wins? Cowboys’ Super Bowl XXX roster was comprised of 61-percent drafted players. No NFL champ the last 10 years has come close to that ratio. More free agency. Shorter draft. Remember, XXX MVP Larry Brown was a 12th-round pick (320th overall). In today’s 7-round world, he’d be an undrafted free agent.

*Want an inspirational sports story wrapped in Ukrainian tears? HBO’s Real Sports delivers again, and confirms why it’s my favorite TV show. By a mile. This month’s episode features a story about an orphaned amputee multi-sport star who has overcome crippling disability courtesy of the Chernobyl nuclear accident, being abandoned by her parents, and witnessing her best friend beaten to death in a violent Russian children’s home. Next time you want to complain about weather or traffic or, well, anything, remember the tale of Oksana Masters.

*Rangers catcher Jonah Heim is on paternity leave. Hmm, should I (re)touch this one? Couple years ago, I got into scalding water when I criticized Texas’ Colby Lewis for becoming baseball’s first pitcher to miss one of his 30 starts to attend the birth of his second child. I give a little more leeway for an everyday player who will make more like 150 starts, but still … three days?! I stand by my stance.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Cowboys claim they went into this draft with no “musts.” Strangely, Arkansas alum and fanatic Jones has now drafted 299 players with almost no Razorbacks. In 34 drafts, only Felix Jones in 2008.

*Wearing his Masters green jacket, Scottie Scheffler threw a pretty dang decent first pitch before a Rangers game this week. Which reminds me … I can’t stop laughing at Micah Parsons’ recent puck “drop” at a minor league game in Pennsylvania. Just … wow.

*For my money, these are the best and worst Cowboys draft picks of all-time. According to a winking Jerry, “Taco was Stephen’s pick; Micah was mine.” Touché.

*Lived in North Texas all my life and this seems like the most annoyingly windiest Spring ever. Sure enough. And enough already. We all love a cool breeze on a hot day, but 25-35mph gusts are good for absolutely nothing.

*If you Googled “Who owns the Utah Jazz?” this week, you got a chuckle. But as great as Brunson has been in the playoffs, there’s nothing funny about what’s looming in the offseason. The Mavs had their chance to extend his contract, but didn’t. And now – according to his father – there “ain’t no hometown discount.” The more he’s gone, the more I appreciate Dirk and his unyielding loyalty.

*When you’re about to turn 80, are a multi-billionaire, have three Super Bowl rings and are already in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, you’ve earned the right to be surly at your leisure. Right, Jerry? Exchange at this week’s pre-draft press conference at The Star: REPORTER: “Does Kelvin Joseph impact your draft prep at cornerback?” JERRY: “No.” REPORTER: “Why?” JERRY: “Just because I said so.” Sir, yessir.

*Instead of “wall” that can be scaled over or tunneled under, if we’re really serious about border security why don’t we build a maze? A Labyrinth, perhaps.

*Considering that he’s second on the team with 10 RBI and has two more homers than Semien, maybe all the Rangers should take BP wearing … blue jeans?

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Marcus Semien

Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

Taylor Hearn

Lindsey Wasson-USA TODAY Sports

Corey Seager

*Wait, Luka is teaching Shaq to cussin Slovenian? Because I heard with my own ears – as did all of America on TNT – that he’s pretty adept as English curse words. Describing the Mavs’ slow Game 6 start, Doncic quipped “In the first half our energy was low … we were just bullsh*tting around … ”

*Very cool that Cowboys quarterbacks Roger Staubach, Troy Aikman and Dak Prescott teamed up to raise $1.5 million to fight pediatric cancer in DFW. Even better that Staubach completed a charity completion by passing his Honorary Chair role to Prescott.

*Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Works for me, anyway. For example, sit in a 98-degree steam room first thing in the morning and listen to all 16 minutes of this classic. With the hardest part of your day done, you’ll be a regular Dalai Lama when life tries to pick a fight with you via traffic, busted plumbing, hangnail, computer glitches, etc.

*That said, I don’t think I’d last three minutes in a Russian prison. DFW marine was released this week after three years.

*NFL Draft on TV and Aikman’s new beer on tap. If that doesn’t sound like a party, then I no longer know how to party. And I (sometimes) still know how to party. Come buy me an Eight beer. Talk some draft with a couple of our Sports Illustrated Fan Nation writers. Maybe stay for live music. Friday night in The Colony. Be there or be square.

*This Weekend? If you’ve been paying attention, you know Friday night we’re hanging out at The Maverick. Saturday is for introducing Big Brothers Big Sisters lil’ bro Ja to the sport of Triathlon. Sunday is for diving into the final episodes of the best series in the history of Netflix, Ozark. As always, don’t be a stranger.


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