Rangers Stretching for Positives: Third Place, Triple Plays

Third-place Rangers stretch for positivity, are we underrating Micah Parsons, a warning for Mavs fans from Dirk Nowitzki, and hype over phones and grocery stores, all in this week's DFW sports notebook.

WHITT'S END 9.23.22:

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*Don’t ask why, but I tuned in briefly to Texas Rangers-Anaheim Angels Wednesday night. Saw what I thought was a cool stat, that quickly deteriorated into an epic reach. 

The graphic on Bally Sports Southwest blared “Nate Lowe has the highest batting average … in the American League … since Aug. 1 … in home games.”

Strrrrrrretchhhhhhhh. 

That’s what happens when your team is 33.5 games out of first place in the A.L. West.

*Monday night madness … With 83 starring roles, the Dallas Cowboys have the second-most appearances on Monday Night Football behind only the Miami Dolphins. With that quantity has come some unforgettable quality. The Cowboys are 49-34 all-time on Monday nights entering next week’s prime-timer against the rival New York Giants.

It will be Dallas’ only MNF appearance of the season and the 13th all-time against the Giants. Will it be a classic that cracks this list of the Top 10 imbedded – for better or worse – Monday memories?

10. Oct. 25, 2010 – Giants 41, at Cowboys 35: The Cowboys take a 20-7 lead thanks to a 93-yard punt return by rookie Dez Bryant. But in the second quarter Giants linebacker Michael Boley sacks Tony Romo, the quarterback breaks his collar bone, and Dallas’ season spirals to 1-5 on its way to 1-7 and the firing of head coach Wade Phillips.

9. Sept. 19, 2005 – Redskins 14, at Cowboys 13: On an emotional night when Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith and Michael Irvin are inducted into the Ring of Honor at Texas Stadium, Santana Moss ruins the party with two long touchdown catches in the final 3:46.

8. Sept. 2, 1996 – Bears 22, Cowboys 6: With Irvin suspended and Smith carted off on a stretcher, the Cowboys fail to score a touchdown for the first time in 70 games. It was the beginning of the beginning of the end of the dynasty.

7. Sept. 4, 1995 – Cowboys 35, at Giants 0: Smith bolts 60 yards for a touchdown on the season’s first hand-off and rushes for 163 yards to stun the Meadowlands and catapult a Super Bowl season.

6. Sept. 7, 1992 – at Cowboys 23, Redskins 10: Issiac Holt blocks a punt on the game’s first possession and the Cowboys whip Mark Rypien and the defending Super Bowl champs. It was the beginning of the beginning of the dynasty.

5. Sept. 8, 1986 – at Cowboys 31, Giants 28: Teaming in Dallas’ “Dream Team” backfield with Tony Dorsett, a heralded newcomer named Herschel Walker hurdles his way to the winning 10-yard touchdown with 1:16 remaining.

4. Sept. 15, 1997 – at Cowboys 21, Eagles 20: Dallas miraculously survives when Philadelphia holder Tom Hutton bobbles the snap on kicker Chris Boniol’s 22-yard field-goal attempt with :04 remaining.

3. Sept. 15, 2003 – Cowboys 35, at Giants 32: Coach Bill Parcells gets his first win in Dallas despite his team blowing a 15-point, fourth-quarter lead. Cowboys are bailed out by Quincy Carter’s passing, Antonio Bryant’s clutch receiving and seven field goals by Billy Cundiff, including a 52-yarder to force overtime and the game-winner from 25 on the final play.

2. Sept. 5, 1983 – Cowboys 31, at Redskins 30: Trailing 23-3 at halftime, Danny White rallies Dallas to an electrifying season-opening win at old RFK Stadium behind three second-half touchdown passes, two to Tony Hill and the game-winner to Doug Cosbie with 1:49 remaining.

1. Oct. 8, 2007 – Cowboys 25, Bills 24: It’s the first MNF game in Buffalo in 13 years and one of the wildest finishes in the Cowboys’ 62-year history. The Cowboys trail 24-13 entering the fourth quarter because of six Romo turnovers (a fumble and five interceptions, two of which are returned for touchdowns). Romo hits Patrick Crayton for a short touchdown, but Terrell Owens is stripped of a two-point conversion pass to leave Dallas trailing 24-22 with :20 remaining. After a wonky carom off Sam Hurd, Cowboys’ tight end Tony Curtis then recovers an onside kick. Rookie kicker Nick Folk boots a 53-yard field goal at the gun for a dramatic win, only to have Buffalo call the last-millisecond timeout. But on the second go, Folk is good again.

Top that, Cowboys-Giants. Dare ya!

*Through his first 18 games Micah Parsons has 17 sacks, most by any player in NFL history to begin a career. Is it possible we underrate the Cowboys’ lion-backer?

*While getting ready to host his 5th Annual Dirk Nowitzki Pro Celebrity Tennis Classic Sunday at SMU, the Dallas Mavericks’ legend took time to assess his former team’s prospects for the 2023 season. His warning: Don’t freak out if the Mavs don’t automatically make the leap from conference finals to NBA Finals.

“The next step isn’t always automatic,” Dirk said this week on 105.3 The Fan. “Look at our teams. We were good for 10 years without breaking through. All you can do is put yourself to be in position and have a good team when the time comes.” Dirk’s Mavs, remember, lost in the 2006 NBA Finals and didn’t sniff another deep playoff run until winning it all five years later. 

Scheduled to play in his tennis tournament: 2003 U.S. Open champ Andy Roddick, actor Ben Stiller, former teammate Steve Nash and, yep, Luka Doncic.

*Didn’t necessarily need a new iPhone, but saw the hoopla surrounding the unveiling of the new 14 Pro and thought I’d pop into AT&T to see what’s what. Sure enough, “Yes, you’re eligible for a free upgrade!” Awesome. Game on. Yeah, but about that tiny $8-a-month increase, the $82 in taxes, the $65 for a new Otter Box and the one-time $35 upgrade fee?! Suddenly “free” = $182. And despite those omnipresent TV commercials featuring “Lily” and her savory trade-in deals, no one asked me if I was trading in my 11 Pro. Which I am, but apparently retroactively. And now you know how AT&T can afford naming rights on the giant building where the Cowboys play in Arlington.

*Last week I surmised that 97.1 The Eagle – radio home of the Mavs - was tweaking its alternative rock format for something infused with much more talk. Chatting up some industry sources this week I heard this rumor that would be, well, ear-rattling: “The Eagle is flipping to an all-sports format in hopes of filling the void left by 103.3 ESPN. 

The tent-pole will be the Mavs. 

Their new, high-profile host will be none other than … Mike Rhyner.” The iconic founder of The Ticket, of course, retired in 2020. 

I won’t believe that one until I hear it.

*There was a time in my childhood – after the dinosaurs but shy of the Internet – when Cowboys fans would only see their team on Sundays. And on certain game days we’d get nauseous when we’d watch them run onto the field wearing their blue jerseys. For years, opposing teams wore white at home to make the Cowboys wear blue. And it pretty much worked. All five of their Super Bowls were won wearing white and they are 0-1 wearing blue in the championship game. The Giants are trying to resurrect the jinx Monday night by wearing their throwback all-white uniforms and urging fans to produce a “white-out.”

*Hot.

*Not.

*When you hear Jerry Jones drumming up talk of a hopeful Dak Prescott-Cooper Rush “quarterback controversy”, gotta remember two things: 1. In the words of astute running back Ezekiel Elliott, “It’s all marketing.”; 2. In Jerry’s world, “1+1=3.”

*This coming from a guy who (see above) just went out and bought a new iPhone, but I don’t get the excitement over the opening in Frisco this week of a new … grocery store. There was a winding line of folks at 5 a.m. waiting for H-E-B to open its doors. It’s not like they were giving away free bags of grub. Just can’t imagine being giddy to wait in line an hour for fresh lettuce. One of our problems in this country: Never see that kind of passion e for the opening of a library or art museum. I don’t understand the passion for H-E-B … or Chick-fil-A … or Buc-ees or ... Pretty sure at this point it’s me, not you.

*Mavs open training camp next week. In a nutshell: Jalen Brunson is gone from the team that lost the Western Conference Finals to the Golden State Warriors in five games, and JaVale McGee, Christian Wood and *Tim Hardaway Jr. have arrived. 

Says Dirk, “We think we can compensate for the loss of Jalen. Of course, Luka has to have a monster year again.”

*NBA is considering allowing 18-year-olds to enter the league. To which I say, “And?” 

Tracy Austin won a U.S. Open at 16. Doogie Howser was an “M.D.” at like 14. Imagine a pre-teen piano virtuoso or 12-year-old author being prohibited from turning profession in their selected field until they were 19. Preposterous.

*At the gym this week two dudes were gabbing about immigration. Exclaimed one, “If people don’t like the way we do things around here, they should just move. Texas will always be Texas!” Betcha a nickel Mr. “Don’t Mess With Texas” couldn’t tell his flag from Chile’s.

*Rangers beat the Angels Thursday afternoon to slither into third place in the AL West. If you’re not amped by that feat, how about the fact that for the first time in team history they’ve turned two triple plays in the same season?

*After last Sunday’s upset of the Cincinnati Bengals, former Cowboys’ receiver Dez Bryant gloated that he won $37,000 on a bet. Got these folks to wondering: How is that legal?

*Speaking of gambling paydays, if you won $1.34 billion in the lottery how long would it take you to claim your prize? Me, about two minutes. But these two in Illinois took eight … weeks. In that time span I’m fairly confident I would have already spent every penny.

*Cowboys are 9-1 in their last 10 against the Giants, with an average margin of victory of 13.6 points.

*Never taken acid. But if I do I think I’ll watch videos like this and this. Or maybe I just went on an acid trip without taking acid?

*Rush is 2-0 as a bullpen replacement for Prescott. But, stop, he has nowhere near the chops to be among the Top 10 most qualified backup quarterbacks in Cowboys history.

*I realize we’ve pretty much already transitioned to cash-less society, but I grabbed a quarter this week and it honestly felt like a foreign object. And I found this inexplicable: The U.S. Treasury in 2022 will print 200 million $2 bills. Two hundred million?! Can that be right? And, if so, why?

*The NFC East looks to be much improved this season, but does that mean Jerry has to be scared of the Philadelphia Eagles?

*I admit it, every time I see a car driving 100mph on a freeway I hope it ends up just like this. Safe but, ya know, sufficiently shook.

*Bigger Cowboys story this week: Gallup or gallop?

*The first day of Fall arrived in DFW with temperatures in the mid-90s. But we’ve officially entered pre-Winter. Big Tex goes up Friday and next week we’ll be eating fried everything at the State Fair.

*At a restaurant this week and the condiments were conveniently placed on the table. Why then, do I put my mustard and ketchup in the refrigerator?

*After one scintillating half in the preseason, Cowboys newcomer KaVontae Turpin has largely been a disappointment with one carry for three yards and modest averages on punt (12.3 yards) and kick-off (19.3) returns. But, at only 5-foot-9, he can … dunk!

*I know it’s hip to complain about “high gas prices!” and all, but … prices fell for a record 98 consecutive days and are now $3.14, compared to $2.81 one year ago. That means for a 15-gallon fill-up you’re paying about $5 more. Guaranteed you have more than $5 of “hidden charges” in your life, like apps you forgot you subscribed to, or absorbing other ATM’s convenience fees.

*Giants 17, Cowboys 16. Rush’s magic can’t continue, can it?

*This Weekend? Friday is for maybe watching – finally – some Ted Lasso. Saturday is for taking lil’ bro Ja to a Big Brothers Big Sisters picnic. Sunday is for the NFL, sans Cowboys. As always, don’t be a stranger.

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