Inside The Rangers

'Black Caesar': Your Rangers' Controversial New Pitch Man

Rangers' controversial new pitch man, Cowboys' irrationally low projection, Mavs' shrugging off season, and our best No. 0's, all in this week's DFW sports notebook.

Richie Whitt

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WHITT'S END 3.31.23:

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*Zero to … hero?

When the NFL announced at this week’s owners meetings in Phoenix that, beginning this season, players can wear the uniform No. 0, there was a flood of phone calls to equipment managers across the league. Dallas Cowboys star linebacker Micah Parsons wanted the number, but was shoved aside by the seniority of safety Jayron Kearse, who will switch from 27 to 0.

By default, Kearse will be the best Cowboy to wear No. 0. But he’ll have to go a ways to be DFW’s best all-time goose egg.

Runner-up is Shawn Marion of the Mavericks, who helped Dallas win a title in 2011 by defensively dogging LeBron James in the NBA Finals. While with the Mavs he joined Hakeem Olajuwon, Karl Malone and Kevin Garnett as the only players to produce 17,000 points, 9,000 rebounds, 1,500 steals and 1,000 blocks.

But our biggest zero is Al Oliver, Texas Rangers outfielder from 1978-81. He was the first player in Major League Baseball history, in fact, to wear No. 0. In all four seasons with the Rangers he finished in the Top 10 in batting average, was named an All-Star, and in 1980 set an AL record with 21 total bases (four homers, a triple and a double) in a doubleheader against the Tigers in Detroit.

*So, what if the implausible indeed becomes possible and the Dallas Mavericks – 11 months after sniffing the NBA Finals – miss not only the play-in, but the entire playoffs? Does Kyrie Irving bolt? Does Jason Kidd get fired? Does Nico Harrison shoulder some blame? Does … Mark Cuban ponder selling the team? At this point, the trade for Irving is a disaster. He and Luka aren’t meshing on the court and Luka is clearly unhappy off it without his close friends Boban Marjanovic and Dorian Finney-Smith. The Irving deal saved Dallas money, but it inadvertently sabotaged the season. Cuban, now 64, has matured – dare we say mellowed? – from the days when he was being fined for outbursts weekly by NBA commish David Stern. His three kids are now 20, 17 and 14. He’s got Shark Tank. He’s got his amazing Cost Plus Drugs company, which is literally saving lives daily through affordable medicine. He’s got his championship ring, thanks to Dirk Nowitzki and 2011. I know in 2016 he swore he’d never sell the Mavs. But, already a billionaire, the team he bought in 2000 for $285 million is worth another $3.3 billion. He doesn’t need the money. Does he still want the aggravation of another failed re-boot trying to again ascend the NBA mountain? Cuban loves the Mavs and the spotlight, and the safe bet is that he’ll be back in 2023-24 for another swing. But after pairing two of the greatest players ever together and winding up with a total mess … never say never.

*Among the most troubling aspects of this Mavs season is the seeming lack of fight from the leaders. A couple weeks ago coach Jason Kidd shrugged and said “no one is dying” if his team misses the playoffs. Now comes this from Irving after Wednesday night’s loss in Philly: “We just can't be a championship game overnight. I’ve wrapped my head around it. I’m at peace with it.” Dallas is 6-14 in its last 20 games and has only five remaining, yet no one seems the least bit alarmed. Except, that is, all of us.

*Rangers’ predicted win total is 81.5. Give me the over. If, that is, starting pitchers Jacob deGrom, Nathan Eovaldi and Andrew Heaney can stay on the mound. Also give me the over on “traditional” Rangers fans who hate their rap-poetry TV ad featuring none other than “Black Caesar.”

*If babies shot and murdered inside a church school doesn’t make even the staunchest Second Amendment supporters queasy, then nothing will. And, who am I kidding, nothing will. Tennessee, site of our latest school shooting, is one of 25 states – half of America! – where it’s legal for anyone over the age of 21 to open carry a gun(s) without a permit. The killer legally bought seven guns from five stores in Nashville and – because of Tennessee’s loose laws – the police legally couldn’t have stopped her until the moment she pulled the trigger. Yet again I’m reminded: All it takes for bad people to win is for good people to not play.

*I have zero interest level in the women’s Final Four this weekend at American Airlines Center. But this fascinates me: The most underrated conference in men’s basketball was, by far, Conference USA. Not only did C-USA spring Florida Atlantic into the Final Four, but Charlotte won the CBI post-season tournament while North Texas and UAB played in the NIT championship game. Before the NIT final, C-USA teams this postseason were a combined 17-1.

*Oh, why don’t I care about the women’s tournament? Because they’ve made it abundantly clear they’re not catering to me.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Cowboys have won 12 games in each of the last two regular seasons. This offseason they’ve let go running back Ezekiel Elliott and tight end Dalton Schultz, but traded for receiver Brandin Cooks and added cornerback Stephon Gilmore to Dan Quinn’s already-elite defense. Why then, is their projected win total for 2023 at only 9.5? Give me the over.

*It’s slam-dunk good news that Dirk got elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame. It’s kind of, well, yucky that he has be inducted with a class that includes two of his biggest adversaries in Dwyane Wade and Gregg Popovich.

*Next week Twitter – thanks, Elon – will delete the blue checkmarks from all previously verified accounts, unless you pay $84 a year to keep it. Hard pass. Once a badge of credibility, now any ol’ schmoe can appear “verified” as long as they’re willing to pay for it. Here’s hoping my 37 years in the media means more than a blue checkmark, anyway. And to those paying the money to appear “verified”, doesn’t that feel akin to stolen valor?

*Rangers’ Theme and Community Nights scheduled at Globe Life Field this season: Whataburger, Good Good Golf, Indiana Jones, Shark Week, Margaritaville, Star Wars, Weather Day, Bark at the Park, Boy/Girl Scouts, Mexican Heritage, Healthcare Heroes, Dallas College, Teacher Appreciation (2), First Responders (2), Military Appreciation (3). To no one’s surprise, LGBTQ/Pride again didn’t make the cut.

*I’ve been honored to watch Big Brothers Big Sisters lil’ bro Ja grow from a shy kid into a man with a job, and a future. He landed a Summer internship at accounting giant KPMG making $22 an hour. Bravo! But … he’s still a weirdo.

*I wrote last week that if the Mavs were going to make the playoffs they needed to go 7-2 in the last nine games of what was a very easy schedule. So they promptly went out and lost consecutive games to the 23-win Charlotte Hornets’ JV. The problem with this team – and the knock on Kidd – is the lack of a Plan B and, instead, a vicious circle of losing trends. They are 3 of 18 on game-tying or game-winning shots in the final five seconds. They have been outrebounded in 58 of 77 games, by far the worst in the NBA. A league-record 48 percent of their shots are 3-pointers. And they’re too reliant upon Luka, who scored 40 in one of the losses to Charlotte while the rest of the team combined for only 64.

*I find this hard to believe, but a study of MLB parks suggests that the Rangers-Phillies Thursday opener was the most expensive in baseball. Average cost per person for a ticket, parking, one beer and one hot dog: $163.75. Ouch.

*Buddy asked me this week, “Man, aren’t you thinking about retiring?” No. 1, I write sports for a living. So I’ve never really “worked” a day in my life. No. 2, retire?! I’m fortunate to be in one of the few professions in which the older you get, the better you get. Age. Wisdom. Experience. Perspective. Right? While I cringe at some of the rubbish I produced at age 30, I hope at 90 I’ll feel the same way about the stuff I’m writing now nearing 60. Besides …

*This Weekend? See above. As always, don’t be a stranger.

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Richie Whitt
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