Arms Race: New Rangers Pitching Staff Comparable to World Series Champs?

Rangers boasting rotation, Cowboys rekindling rivalry, Mavs regretting draft pick and eulogizing the man who would've been next John Madden, all in this week's DFW sports notebook.

WHITT'S END 12.16.22:

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*The Texas Rangers - again - didn't lure Clayton Kershaw to Arlington. But did they do even better?

Jacob deGrom, Martin Perez, Andrew Heaney and Jon Gray present a significantly upgraded starting rotation for the Rangers in 2023. But as good as the Houston Astros? The defending World Series champs are so deep on the mound they let Justin Verlander escape to the New York Mets.

So let’s deploy the parachute on that one.

*Hear that? It’s silence, coming from the Jerry-the-Owner-Should-Fire-Jerry-the-GM crowd.

Let’s enjoy it while we can, because it’s not gone but simply paused.

Right now Jerry Jones the Dallas Cowboys owner looks pretty savvy in keeping around Jerry Jones the Cowboys general manager who: In the last three years drafted CeeDee Lamb, Trevon Diggs, Micah Parsons and Tyler Smith; this year signed 40-year-old Jason Peters, just in case of an injury (Tyron Smith, Terence Steele ring any bells?) along the offensive line; and is apparently passing on signing Odell Beckham Jr. this season even though the transaction would keep his team in the media spotlight.

It’s times like these when Jones shoves aside his alleged greed for more fame and even more fortune to make personnel moves based simply on winning football games. Whether or not his critics want to hear it.

*Sure it’s a product of things out of their control. But doesn’t change the fact that using the 31st overall pick in 2020 on Stanford’s Tyrell Terry was one of the worst draft choices in Dallas Mavericks history. Terry, who officially retired from basketball Thursday because of mental health struggles, never started a game, never made a 3-pointer and scored only 11 points in 11 appearances with Dallas. In an Instagram post, the 22-year-old admitted “To most, I will be forever known as a bust, a failure, or a waste of talent.” The 2020 draft’s second round wasn’t filled with better hindsight options, though San Antonio Spurs point guard Tre Jones could likely be seeing quality minutes as an alternate ball-handler to Luka Doncic.

*Fourth time’s the charm? My alma mater – Duncanville High School – has been one of the best football programs in Texas and America the last six years. How about a record of 78-7 and four appearances in the Class 6A state championship game? But in all three previous title games the Panthers were beaten by Houston’s Galena Park North Shore, including a one-score game in 2021 and gut-wrenching defeat in 2018 on a final-play Hail Mary. This year Duncanville is 14-0 and ranked No. 1 in Texas after rolling into another championship game with a 41-0 whipping of Prosper in last week’s semifinals. But guess who awaits Saturday night at 7 at AT&T Stadium? Yep, again. Surely this time …

*Just like that, I’m hyper-allergic to certain dogs. To the point where the whites of my eyeballs swell into a pinkish guzz that keep my eyelids from being able to properly close. Oh yeah, it’s quite attractive. (I have photos, but we’re all trying to have a decent TGIF, right?) Are dogs evolving, or am I simply deteriorating? Sssshhhh. That’s rhetorical.

*Aside from the fact that he was misquoted and has since (sorta) apologized, I love Micah Parsons providing virtual bulletin-board material for the Philadelphia Eagles. Ideally, I’d prefer Parsons stay away from having his own online store and getting sucked into the Brittney Griner controversy. At least, that is, until he gets out of a two-game hiccup where he hasn’t even breathed on a quarterback. But someone needs to fuel the flickering Cowboys-Eagles rivalry. As a kid attending games at Texas Stadium, I was convinced that Cowboys players hated Eagles players as much as I did. Football is more fun when Jimmy Johnson feuds with Buddy Ryan. When the Eagles cheer Michael Irvin’s injury, and levy bounties on Cowboys’ kickers. But these days – thanks to rules changes and free agency – the NFL is running low on violence and vitriol. The only Cowboys-Eagles “rivalry” exists between fan bases. After the Christmas Eve showdown in Arlington – Parsons’ perceived slight be damned – players from both teams will exchange jerseys, hugs and smiles, before kneeling in prayer as one. Hard to hate them when, by all appearances, they’re best friends with us. As you were saying, Micah …

*Hot.

*Not.

*In the corner of Mike Leach’s obit should be the inscription: “1 of 1.” Always loved me some Leach, who shockingly passed away this week after complications from a heart attack at age 61. At the Dallas Observer I once endorsed him to be Bill Parcells’ replacement for the Cowboys, and included him on my short list of people with whom I'd like to spend my final hour on Earth. I interviewed him regularly on my old radio show with Armen Williams and Sybil Summers and Greggo on 105.3 The Fan. He once called in during a torrid rainstorm while riding a bicycle in Belize. Why? “You’re going to be dead in 100 years anyway,” he reasoned. “Live dangerously.” How innovative was Leach? He coached seven 600-yard passing games – by seven different quarterbacks. From 2000-22 his teams threw for 600+ yards 11 times; all other FBS teams combined for 10. With a law degree, an affinity for pirates and a genuine curiosity that made any question relevant, Leach was destined to jump into a TV broadcast booth and become the next John Madden. On the menu of bland, cookie-cutter coaches, R.I.P. to the juicy double-cheeseburger that was Mike Leach.

*This week was the 10-year anniversary of the horrible shooting at Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. 20 children ages 6-7, torn apart with bullets from an AR-15. At the time I was on the radio and it so moved me that I wrote this gun-control plea for CBS. A decade later and – unfathomably, but also predictably – it still rings true. And simultaneously hollow. In the wake of Sandy Hook, Parkland, Santa Fe, etc., has America done anything tangible to make it less likely that our kids get shot and killed while in school? The answer resides in Uvalde. For now. Until the next school shooting in 2023.

*T.Y. Hilton doesn’t have do much to become the best Cowboys player to ever wear No. 16. Leader in the clubhouse is … Steve Pelluer, who went 8-19 as starting quarterback in the late 1980s. Other crappy candidates include Vinny Testaverde and Jesse Holley. Yuck. In signing the 33-year-old, former four-time Pro Bowl receiver, the Cowboys are hoping a player that might be over the hill can maybe help get them over the hump.

*I got your New Year’s Resolution right here: Stop calling it the “Cowboy” game or “Cowboy” football. Unless you’re merely referring to one player – singular, duh – you’re watching the “Cowboys” game. And while we’re at it, stop announcing that you’re going shopping at “Kroger’s.” It’s “Kroger”. If you don’t trust me, just look up at their dang sign. We’re better than this, people!

*From the Dept. of Embracing Now: Look at what’s happened to last season’s NBA Western Conference finalists. Just seventh months ago the Golden State Warriors were on their way to winning an NBA title and the Mavs were confident they were, as coach Jason Kidd proclaimed, “at the beginning of our journey.” Caution: Detour ahead. The Warriors are 2-13 on the road and star Steph Curry is sidelined with a shoulder injury. The Mavs are flummoxed by the loss of Jalen Brunson. JaVale McGee has been a complete air ball. They miss too many important free throws. And now Maxi Kleber is sidelined indefinitely by a torn hamstring. Add it all up and the two best in the West at the end of 2022 are a combined 28-29 and out of the playoff picture as the NBA steams toward 2023.

*HBO’s White Lotus was the best show I watched in all of 2022. Yes, better than the final season of Ozark and better than Ted Lasso. The hypnotic storylines. The breathtaking cinematography. The sexiness without sex. The … dry shirt? As a journalist, I tend to be a stickler for details. But I don’t think it’s asking too much to not insult your invested audience with an obvious oops. In the season finale, two of the main characters get into an epic fistfight in the ocean. Punching. Grabbing. Clawing. Dunking. Brawling. And then – in the next scene, mind you – one of the combatants strolls up to a woman on the beach with hair in place, no visible scratches and shirt totally dry, even unwrinkled. How does creator and director Mike White – who otherwise went to meticulous lengths to make his show both beautiful and believable – shrug off something so glaringly goofy? Whether he thinks we won’t notice or won’t care, he’s 0 for 2.

*The grass ain’t always greener and the player you criticize aren’t always as bad as you think. Let Dak Prescott get hit a couple times thanks to Josh Ball getting beat around right tackle and suddenly all is forgiven, Terence Steele.

*Remember in 2009 when Rangers fans relieved their stress by booing Chris Davis? These days – despite being long gone from Texas and done with baseball – he’s laughing all the way to the bank. And back. A fifth-round pick of the Rangers in 2006, he ascended to the big club quickly before striking out 111 times in a disastrous 74-game stretch and ultimately being traded to the Baltimore Orioles. In 2013 his big, looping swing started running into baseballs and he led the majors with 53 homers and finished third in AL MVP voting. In 2019 he set an MLB record with an 0-for-54 slump. As part of the contract he signed in Baltimore in 2016, Davis is about to start receiving 15 years of deferred payments to the tune of $9 million 2023-25, $3.5 million 2026-32 and then a measly $1.4 million until 2037. Baseball is obscene.

*Next fad, please? Our Seltzer infatuation has apparently run its course. Flavored bubbly water from Truly, Bud Light and Vizzy all saw sales drop by at least 25 percent in 2022. Here’s hoping I’m writing another faddish obit at the end of 2023. You hear me, Pickleball?!

*I asked this with OBJ in the Super Bowl and again this season with Sterling Shepard during the Cowboys-Giants game. I’ll pose it again after watching Kyler Murray suffer a torn ACL on Monday Night Football: How does an elite, professional athlete who trains his body to withstand extreme strains and punishment suffer a catastrophic knee injury when simply planting his foot without being touched? Knowing this is possible, how does it not happen to every overweight, outta-shape dude playing pick-up hoops at every gym?

*While Texas is puffing out our chest and saying faux-alpha stuff like “Don’t California My Texas!”, here’s what’s really going down: Texas is clinging to oil and gas; California scientists successfully produced a nuclear fusion reaction that is a long-awaited step toward creating a cheap, clean-energy alternative. Texas is still out here trying to fry eggs on the sidewalk; California just perfected the portable microwave. Not saying it’s perfect – and no, I don’t want to move there just yet – but California’s forward-thinking innovation is always welcome in my little corner of Texas.

*All-American running back Bijan Robinson is skipping Texas’ appearance in the Alamo Bowl. Coaches leave. Players opt out. Somehow, bowls survive. At least for now. Outside college football’s final four, bowl games have deteriorated into exhibitions exclusively for degenerate gamblers and ambitious companies who think attaching their name to a meaningless game is somehow good business. What we have here is a bad case of IBS: Irritable Bowl Syndrome.

*Keep this handy for the next time you hear someone blame President Joe Biden for “high gas prices.” Cost of a gallon of a gas on Dec. 15, 2021: $3.31; Dec. 15, 2022: $3.19.

*Looking for a Christmas gift idea for me? Dinner with Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf is high on my list. Thanks in advance.

*This Weekend? Friday let’s get a head start on a 2023 physical challenge called HyRox. Saturday let’s get our Christmas onesie vibe going at a party. Sunday let’s chronicle the Cowboys clobbering the Jaguars. As always, don’t be a stranger.