South Side Hit Pen

Know Your Enemy: Detroit Tigers

Some people are fans of the Tigers. We here at SSHP are not. This is our series preview, so White Sox fans can know their enemy.

Colleen Sullivan

Know Your Enemy: Detroit Tigers
Know Your Enemy: Detroit Tigers /

Enemy team

Detroit Tigers.

In the words of my college roommate (who lives outside Detroit): It would be better if they were real tigers.

It’s safe to say that people from Chicago hate any team that’s from Detroit. Rival cities, rival teams! Sure, Detroit has had a rough few years, when they went bankrupt and had their mayor wanting to sell off their art. They lost Verlander to the cheatin’ Astros (and I still can’t believe Kate Upton married that bozo) and haven’t done great things in the division.

And there’s a crap-ton of commercials for “Detroit-style” Jet’s Pizza nowadays, which is basically just pan pizza (like, Pizza Hut pan pizza, not like deep dish).

The Tigers added a lot of new faces to their roster that haven’t played at a major-league level. C.J. Cron and Jonathan Schoop have one-year deals. Casey Mize is a top prospect for the Tigers who we may be seeing in the bullpen sooner rather than later.

Detroit still sucks.

Enemy manager

Ron Gardenhire

Do you remember a time when Ron Gardenhire WASN’T their manager cause I’m not sure I do. Maybe it just feels like forever, because he was Twins manager for 12 years and he just keeps bopping around the AL Central because MLB is really good at hiring the same 30 guys over and over again.

Gardenhire is boring AF. He doesn’t have a doofy blog, off-field drama, and shitty managerial record like Mike Matheny or some World Series like Terry Francona (if it’s more than one is it a “World Seri”?). At least Brad Ausmus managed Team Israel during the World Baseball Classic (in his first post-Tigers managerial role, he was unceremoniously fired by the Angels at the end of last season and replaced with Joe Maddon, which is just sort of a thing Joe Maddon does to fellow managers, eh Rick?).

In Gardenhire’s first game managing for the Tigers, he almost had a walk-off win but that was thwarted by video review, and Gardenhire was ejected for arguing. That’s literally the only exciting thing that he’s done as the Tigers’ manager.

Your enemy’s 2019 record

47-114.

Like the Sox, the Tigers were also bad enough to not have to play a full 162. Unlike the Sox, they were last in the division. The Tigers were baaaaaaaaaad in 2019.

Enemy pitchers

The first matchup of the series is going to be Dallas Keuchel vs. Michael Fulmer. Fulmer’s making his first appearance in two weeks, thanks to the postponement of games due to the Cardinals licking doorknobs or whatever they did to get ALL OF THE COVID in Missouri. Keuchel was the first White Sox starter to go seven innings.

Next up is Gio González vs. Tyler Alexander. Alexander’s second season with the Tigers sees him making the move from bullpen to starting rotation after striking out nine Reds batters during the opener of a doubleheader last weekend. His move to the starting rotation was officially announced this past Friday, and will be making his first "official" start on Tuesday, relegating Daniel Norris to the bullpen.

The final matchup of the series is going to see Dylan Cease take on Matthew Boyd. Boyd and Cease are both off to rough starts. Boyd has allowed 15 runs on 23 hits over 14 ⅔ innings. A drop in his strikeout rate and bad sliders may work in the Sox’s favor.

What sucks for the Sox

After riding the wave of sweeping the Royals, the Sox had a spectacular disaster of a series against Cleveland. This season is an endurance test for all teams, and the Sox are currently hit with a round of injuries to some key players. It’s a marathon, not a sprint guys. Take it easy.

The 2020 Detroit Tigers are not doing terribly right now, and we need to recognize that: The Sox can’t just walk in to the series thinking that it’s going to be easy. The Tigers are coming off a weekend sweep of the Pirates, and Miguel Cabrera, despite some early struggles, is hitting like it’s 2016 all over again. Detroit had 32 hits and 28 runs this weekend (whereas the Sox scored a grand total of seven vs. Cleveland all weekend).

What might not suck for the Sox

Maybe Cabrera will have a slump again.

It’d be great if everything came together for the Sox, where the offense was all on point and the defense was there, but it’s a young team and they’re still getting there. Everything is magnified by the 60-game schedule, unfortunately.

Hear it from Sox fans

I asked people why the hate the Tigers and got a variety of responses, so here's some:

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Published
Colleen Sullivan
COLLEEN SULLIVAN

Born and raised in Chicago, Colleen brings with her the complete inability to write a decent profile. You can often find her sarcasm on Twitter (@colleensullivan) talking sports, pop culture, and dog pictures.

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