Tweets of the Week

SI Staff | Jan 13, 2010

Tweets of the Week

Chad Ochocinco

Heinz Kluetmeier/SI

OCNN:free portable lie detector test with a purchase of a box OCHO CINCO CONDOMS- seek pleasure and the truth all in one JOHNSON :) <br>11:46 AM Nov 24<br><br>I am gonna start selling portable lie detector test for women and men to have so you can use it when you first meet people. <br>10:39 AM Nov 24<br><br><i>That would make things interesting...</i>

Dara Torres

Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

At LAX. Dude had his bag on a seat and I asked if he cld move it so I could sit down (brace & all)....<br>9:51 PM Nov 22<br><br> His response "ah yeah but now I have nowhere to put my bag!". On the ground u idiot!!!<br> 9:51 PM Nov 22<br><br> <i>And they say chivalry is dead.</i>

Jason Terry

Glenn James/NBAE via Getty Images

<i>Try getting all of this in one bite:</i><br><br> My Jason Terry JET legandary burger-10 oz angus beef,extra mayo,pineapple,3 cheeses(swiss,jack & cheddar),lettuce,tomato & a tangy bbq sauce.<br>12:29 AM Nov 24

Warren Sapp

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

<i>Who tweets their ex-wife?</i><br><br> Y'all Met My Ex Wife @TripppleR And Her Sister @BigSqueezeO ! Wheretheydothatat I Didn't Know Where And Who I'm With Mattered U Dudes!! SMH<br>11:30 AM Nov 24

Garrett Weber-Gale

Heinz Kluetmeier/SI

There's no line to see Santa at the mall...should I say what up to white beard? Hmmmm<br>3:46 PM Nov 23<br><br> <i>I'd like another gold metal, and another world record, and to beat Michael Phelps and...</i>

Chris Paul

Layne Murdoch/NBAE via Getty Images

So CONGRATS is finally n order...I'm an uncle frm my bro frm another mother lol...evry1 wish my bro @justingray1 congrats on his baby boy!!!<br>12:49 AM Nov 24 <br><br> <i>... say what? </i>

Shaquille O'Neal

David Liam Kyle/NBAE via Getty Images

<i>Shaq returns from a Twitter hiatus to share this gem:</i><br><br>dats one sexy pilgrim. ur welcome, lol http://bit.ly/1xDsiX <br>5:00 PM Nov 23

Kevin Durant

Layne Murdoch/NBAE via Getty Images

That show The Game is good...I fell n love just now with that twin and the other girl! The names slip my mind, help me out.<br>11:33 AM Nov 22 <br><br><i>It's true love when you can't remember her name.</i>

Shaun Phillips

Harry How/Getty Images

People are to damn sensitive now a days. We should all just love life and live to die not live to work. Sensitive thugs all need hugs<br>12:46 PM Nov 24 <br><br> <i>Poetry at its finest.</i>

Denny Hamlin

Jason Smith/Getty Images

<i>As if pocket dials weren't bad enough:</i><br><br>That was a pocket tweet.. Oops hope I didn't call anyone while I was at it..<br>7:24 PM Nov 21

Dick Vitale

Scott Halleran/Getty Images

<i>We can't help it -- we're laughing.</i><br><br> Don't laugh but I am getting a haircut- 25 bucks to groom my bald dome! Thinking Cowher fits The Golden Dome!<br>1:04 PM Nov 24