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SI's 2013 Signs of the Apocalypse
SI's 2013 Signs of the Apocalypse
For the last 20 years, <italics>Sports Illustrated</italics> has collected and featured weekly signs from the world of sports that the Apocalypse is upon us: Tales of frenzied fans, egomaniacal coaches, future Hall of Famers who run afoul of the law, mind-boggling bureaucracy, violent behavior and tastelessness run amok... Here were the signs of 2012.
Spurs forward Stephen Jackson suffered a sprained right ankle during a game against the Knicks at Madison Square Garden when he tripped over a waitress who was crouched courtside taking an order from New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg.
A prostitutes' advocacy group in the city of Belo Horizonte, Brazil, is offering free English classes to prepare local sex workers for an expected increase in international customers during the 2014 World Cup.
The Florence (Ky.) Freedom, a baseball team in the Independent Frontier League, announced plans for a Manti Te'o Girlfriend Bobblehead Night in May at which they will give out empty boxes to the first 1,000 fans.
A Modesto, Calif., bakery is selling a cake modeled on the tattooed right arm of 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick.
Lakers forward Antawn Jamison's name is misspelled as Antwan three times on his official website's "About Antawn" section.
Irish sports-betting site Paddy Power's list of candidates to succeed Pope Benedict XVI includes renowned atheist Richard Dawkins (left), at odds of 666 to 1.
A fish fell from the sky -- dropped from the talons of an osprey -- onto the field during batting practice at the Nationals' spring training facility in Viera, Fla.
A wounded veteran of the Iraq war chose the Cubs' logo instead of an iris for his prosthetic eye.
Ridgeway High in Memphis was eliminated from the state playoffs after a senior forward was found to be a 22-year-old man who'd had a woman pose as his mother and submit a fake transcript to the school.
An 18-year-old fan from Nottinghamshire, England, was so upset over the red card issued to Manchester United winger Nani in a Champions League match with Real Madrid that he called local police during the game to report a crime. (United, reduced to 10 men, lost 2-1 and was eliminated.)
Eighty-six tons of dead catfish, sea bass, yellowtail and tilapia choked the Rodrigo de Freitas lagoon in Rio de Janeiro -- site of the 2016 Olympic rowing competition -- after pollution depleted the water's oxygen level.
Russian Olympic officials are spending about $8 million to stockpile nearly 16 million cubic feet of this winter's snow out of fear that there won't be enough during the Games in Sochi in February.
Coca-Cola Park in Allentown, Pa., home of the Triple A Lehigh Valley IronPigs, is unveiling a Urinal Gaming System in its restrooms that will allow men to "engage with the screen by aiming in different directions to test their ability and knowledge."
Galatasaray fans attacked an Istanbul TV station after pundits on the channel predicted that Real Madrid would beat the Turkish club in their first-leg Champions League quarterfinal match on April 3. (Real Madrid won 3-0.)
Josip (Jozo) Ga?par was fired as the coach of Croatian soccer team NK Precko Zagreb after he allegedly stole a credit card from one of his own players and used it to buy 36 bottles of Jägermeister.
Vowing to do "whatever it takes" to draw fans for the 2013-14 season, the owner, general manager, captain and marketing director of the Central Hockey League's Arizona Sundogs in Prescott Valley spent 144 hours on a five-by-eight-foot scissor-lift platform 25 feet above the ground until they reached their goal of 300 season tickets sold.
In the handshake line after the Florida high school water polo state championship match, a player from losing Belen Jesuit (Miami) shoved a player from St. Thomas Aquinas (Fort Lauderdale) into the pool.
The Adult Swim network is producing an animated comedy series, <italics>Mike Tyson Mysteries</italics>, in which a cartoon version of the former heavyweight champ, "armed with a magical tattoo on his face" and aided by a talking pigeon, will solve various baffling cases.
Reacting to "rumors and information on ... fishing blogs," officials at last weekend's Winni Derby fishing tournament on New Hampshire's Lake Winnipesukee announced that the winner of the Grand Prize Salmon Division would be subject to a lie detector test before receiving the award.
Danica Patrick crashed out of Sunday night's Coca-Cola 600 when she was caught up in an accident started by driver Ricky Stenhouse Jr., her boyfriend.
A school in the West Coast Conference self-reported an extra-benefits violation to the NCAA after one of its golfers washed her car on campus using water from a university garden hose.
Oilers general manager Craig MacTavish (left) fired coach Ralph Krueger over Skype.
The word college was misspelled on the roof of the third base dugout at the College World Series in Omaha.
Gus Poyet, manager of Brighton & Hove Albion, an English second tier soccer club, learned he had been fired while he was working as a BBC analyst and was handed a script that included an announcement of his dismissal.
The Lehigh Valley (Pa.) IronPigs, the Phillies' Triple A affiliate, will host Celebration of Life Night on Aug. 20, described as a "once-in-a-lifetime giveaway" in which one fan will receive a full funeral package, valued at nearly $10,000, based on an essay describing his or her ideal service and why he or she "will, eventually, be deserving."
As a result of a lobbying effort by Riot Games, maker of the fantasy video game <italics>League of Legends</italics>, gamers traveling to the U.S. for the official <italics>LoL</italics> tournament in L.A. this fall will receive the same U.S. travel visas given to pro athletes.
Florida sophomore linebacker Antonio Morrison was arrested after a dispute outside a Gainesville nightclub that began when he barked at a police dog. <italics>**Editor's note: The charge was dismissed several days later.</italics>
The grandfather of a player was punched in the chest -- causing his pacemaker to temporarily stop -- during a brawl among players and fans at a youth soccer tournament at Disney World.
Cowboys safety Barry Church missed a practice because he had to have a root canal on a tooth he chipped while eating a Jolly Rancher.
English soccer team Bradford City fired its mascot, the City Gent (59-year-old diabetic Lenny Barry), because he lost too much weight.
Princess Irina, fifth in line to the Romanian throne, was arrested for allegedly running a cockfighting ring in Oregon. <italics>**Editor's note: Princess Irina ultimately pleaded not guilty.</italics>
The coach of Kazakh side Shakhter Karagandy sacrificed a sheep before the team's 2-0 Champions League win over Celtic.
The Mets traded outfielder Marlon Byrd to the Pirates a few hours before they played the Phillies on Marlon Byrd T-shirt night.
Chris Christie took in the Giants-Cowboys game from Jerry Jones's AT&T Stadium suite -- where the New Jersey governor <underline>rooted for Dallas.</underline>
Jason Pickar, a comedian and devout Redskins fan, lost a bet on the team's Week 1 game against the Eagles and had to eat part of his beard.
A fan at Fenway Park had his face bloodied when outfielder Jonny Gomes punted a beer can during a celebration of Boston's division title.
Wilson Kipsang didn't get to break the tape in his world-record marathon run in Berlin on Sept. 29 (2:03:23) because a man in a T-shirt promoting a prostitution website ran onto the course and beat him to it.
A New York City strip club announced it will stop televising Giants game because, in the words of one dancer, watching the 0-5 team "has become too painful."
Citing more than 24 fights over the last three years, the Kentucky High School Athletic Association advised teams not to engage in postgame handshakes.
David Babcock, a 41-year-old graphic design professor at the University of Central Michigan, set a world record by <bold><italics>knitting a 12-foot-long scarf while running</italics></bold> Saturday's (Oct. 19) Kansas City Marathon.
A group of Bosnian fans intending to see their country's World Cup qualifier against Lithuania went to Latvia by mistake. Said one fan, "I will surely remember this stupidity [for] the rest of my life."
Argentine tennis star Juan Martin del Potro was robbed of a briefcase containing money, his passport and a rosary blessed by the pope when he stopped to sign an autograph.
Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith received death threats from fans of the Brazilian soccer club Flamengo after he shoved a team jersey down his pants on stage.
A Kansas City woman traded her wedding ring for six Chiefs tickets--including four to the team's Dec.1 showdown with the Broncos--on Craigslist.
Two assistants at a Tennessee high school were fired--and arrested--after they were caught defacing their own field house with faux graffiti to fire up their team before a rivalry game.
An Olympic torchbearer accidentally set his jacket on fire as he carried the flame through the Siberian town of Abakan.
Toronto mayor Rob Ford will appear every week on a Washington, D.C., radio show called The Sports Junkies.
A pet bunny was decapitated in Sweden in what is thought to be part of an escalating feud between two figure skating clubs.
Notre Dame has been sending football recruits so-called Pots of Gold that contain 477 pieces of mail (one for each Irish player who made the NFL).
