Mav-Wrecks: Will Mavs' Wackiness Vs. Warriors Cost Playoffs?

Mavs' preposterous play, Jerry Jones' real motivation for Cowboys, mental health of Rangers' icon and when "finders, keepers" lands you in jail, all in this week's DFW sports notebook.

WHITT'S END 3.24.23:

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*One night they played an entire quarter against the Lakers without making a basket, scoring only two points on free throws. 

They lost Game 6 of the 2006 NBA Finals on their home court. 

Roy Tarpley played in a game while drunk. 

Mark Cuban pranked 20,000 with a fake fight with a referee. 

Last Spring there was an embarrassing leak in the roof at American Airlines Center. 

And, in the rich tradition of indelible, incredulous moments in Dallas Mavericks history … whatever that was Wednesday night.

What was undoubtedly one of the weirdest plays in franchise history might have also helped end what is quickly deteriorating into a nightmare season. The Mavs made the Western Conference Finals a year ago, added Kyrie Irving and now are in serious jeopardy of missing the playoffs.

Cuban is hopping mad and protesting the play against the Warriors, where the Mavs mistakenly thought it was their ball on an inbounds out of a timeout and wound up lining up on the wrong end of the court away from the ball. Golden State threw it in for the easiest 5-on-none layup in the history of basketball.

Looked to me as if referees pointed in the Warriors’ direction for possession, and then toward the Mavs’ bench for the timeout. 

Doesn’t matter. 

The Mavs lost a key game, and they’ll lose the protest. A team hasn’t won one since 2008.

I’ve only witnessed one wackier moment in a Mavs game. In 1999 at Reunion Arena, the Warriors won a jump ball at the free-throw line near Dallas’ basket. But Chris Mills got discombobulated, gained possession of the ball and went up for a dunk – toward his own basket. But then it really got wonky, as Dallas’ Samaki Walker compounded the tomfoolery by getting co-discombobulated and blocking Mills’ layup attempt.

Weirdest of all: Walker’s play was deemed goaltending.

After some serious head-scratching – this was well before the advent of replay – referees ruled that Walker’s goaltending, in fact, led to a Mills basket that resulted in two points … for the Mavs. Walker was officially credited for two points he desperately tried to block. 

Only in Dallas. Only for the Mavs.

*Thursday the Texas Rangers will throw a legitimate ace on Opening Day in their own ballpark as they host the Phillies. Jacob deGrom will be on the mound, but Eric Nadel will not be in the radio booth. 

The 71-year-old Hall-of-Fame broadcaster – who has been calling Rangers games for 44 years – is taking a break for his mental health while receiving treatment for “anxiety, insomnia and depression.” 

I worked with Nadel on Rangers post-games shows on 105.3 The Fan during their back-to-back World Series runs in 2010-11 and there isn’t a more consummate professional in local sports media. 

Hang in there, Eric. And, don’t worry, we’re ready to swat Skip Bayless the second he maligns you the way he did Dak Prescott.

*Of all the nonsensical criticisms I hear about Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, this one is the most ludicrous: “Jerry don’t care about winning, only about getting publicity and making money.” 

While I won’t dare argue that Jerry loves him some spotlight, I don’t think people realize just how much money he already has. Make more? He’s the 44th richest person in America. He’s worth $16 billion. Sixteen billion. He’s 80. 

I’m not great at math, but I’m pretty sure Jerry Jones could spend $2 million a day until he turns 100 and still be a billionaire.

*Oh yeah, and if he truly desired publicity over productivity then the Cowboys’ newest receiver would be Odell Beckham and not Brandin Cooks.

*When I find something – a driver’s license, gym ID or credit card – I turn it in to closest “desk.” Us humans need to help each other, when possible. No-brainer, right? Wrong. Apparently. Because this week I somehow dropped my credit card at the gas station and the person who found it didn’t turn it in at all, but instead went on a shopping spree. $68 at Walgreens. $49 at CVS. $42 at KFC (gotta admit, that’s one impressive order). 

Over $250 in 24 hours before I realized I’d lost my card. 

My bank canceled the card, expressed me a new one and refunded the fraudulent charges. Other than the slight hassle of changing my form-of-payment with numerous accounts, no biggie. But here’s where it gets interesting: The bank knows exactly when and where I lost my card. The gas station has security cameras everywhere. And – tuh-dah! – the police now have video of the woman picking up my card and getting into her SUV, complete with clear view of her license plate. They then matched video of her making purchases at Walgreens, etc. I hope that KFC was finger-licking good, because the moment she fraudulently used my card to make even a $1 purchase her crime became a state jail felony punishable by a maximum of two years in jail and a $10,000 fine. 

Will I press charges? Damn right I am. Finders keepers is a nursery rhyme, not a business plan. The world won’t be a better place until we start treating each other as teammates instead of opponents.

*Watching Shohei Ohtani’s sheer joy in Japan’s World Baseball Classic victory over the United States was, in a way, refreshing. Normally reticent, Ohtani unleashed emotion seldom seen from him on a baseball field. Reminded me of watching the Mavs’ Luka Doncic play for his home Slovenia in international competitions. More smiles. Less whines. Bottom line: Playing for their country means more to them than playing for their professional teams. And I’m okay with that.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Mavs have nine games remaining, beginning with consecutive tilts against the 23-50 Hornets and finishing April 9 versus the 19-54 Spurs. Of the nine, six are against teams with sub-.500 records. Scoring only 12 points in the fourth quarter of a loss at Memphis was brutal. The controversial loss to the Warriors stings. But the season is far from over. To keep it from being a disaster, Kyrie and Luka need to get healthy and harmonious and the Mavs better go 7-2 down the stretch.

*Lots of hubbub over drag queens recently. I’ve been to several shows and, while not my cup of tea, they are harmless. To wit: Four church pastors/youth ministers were arrested in Texas in the last two weeks for sex crimes against children. How many drag queens were arrested for similar transgressions: 0. Painfully clear what group of people is more harmful to kids in this state.

*Once upon a time Prescott’s leg was in tatters. As of this week, it’s one big tattoo.

*Small group of vocal readers are always yearning for me to write about the Dallas Stars. Fine, here goes: A Dallas man who spent 25 years in prison was exonerated and set free this week. Why? Because DNA of blood splatters on a Stars jersey didn’t match after all.

*Ladies and gentleman, starting in left field for your Texas Rangers … Robbie Grossman. Feel free to win a bar bet with that one.

*What’s sadder than shootings this week at two local high schools – Arlington Lamar and Dallas’ Thomas Jefferson? The fact that neither nudged our needle because there weren’t multiple casualties. We’ve officially become numb to gun-violence news.

*So the Sports Business Journal this week named Dallas as America’s No. 1 Sports Business City. Hmm. Wonder what kind of award it would land had it been able to keep the Cowboys in Dallas or lured the Rangers out of Arlington? Or, for that matter, keep the Cotton Bowl or the Stars practicing in town or …

*Next time you start to beat your chest and bellow “America is the greatest country in the world!”, hold that thought. For the sixth consecutive year we’re not even in Top 10 of the world’s happiest countries, based on the World Happiness Report by Gallup. 

Who’s No. 1? Finland. Weird, because we never hear a peep about Finland and … ahh, I get it. 

The rankings are based on healthy life expectancy, GDP per capita, social support, low corruption, generosity in a community where people look after each other and freedom to make key life decisions. 

The U.S. comes in at No. 15. Nowhere close to No. 1.

*This Weekend? Friday let’s make an airport run before watching some Sweet 16. Saturday let’s hang out with Big Brothers Big Sisters lil’ bro Ja. Sunday let’s play some tennis. As always, don’t be a stranger.

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