Dallas Mavericks' Mark Cuban: Celebrity Couple Match(un)maker?

Dallas Mavericks' Mark Cuban plays match-unmaker, Dallas Cowboys welcome home Red Zone solution Ezekiel Elliott, more Texas Rangers' bullpen heartbreak, and a local-boy-does-good by running the State Fair of Texas, all in this week's DFW sports notebook.

WHITT'S END 9.29.23:

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*In our most significant debate since chicken vs. egg, everyone has an opinion on “Tayvis” … better known as America’s newest power couple, Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. Did Kelce ramp-up Swift’s image by introducing her to a legion of sports fans? Or – as every female in your life has probably already told you – did the 12-time Grammy winner finally make the football player famous?

Though sports stars hooking up with celebrities has been a thing since Joe DiMaggio’s nine-month marriage to Marily Monroe in the 1950s, DFW’s luck with the phenomenon has varied between momentarily fascinating and outright disaster. In fact, according to my very unscientific research and wobbly memory, none of our highest-profile romances have lasted.

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman had 1990s dalliances with country singer Lorrie Morgan and actresses Sandra Bullock and Janine Turner. Another quarterback – Tony Romo – had reality TV star Jessica Simpson swooning in his jersey in a Texas Stadium suite in the late 2000s. Cowboys’ safety Roy Williams was engaged to Destiny’s Child singer Kelly Rowland in 2005, and receiver Terrell Owens brought model Candace Cabrera to the party in 2007.

Though none of those relationships blossomed, they were major successes compared to the Dallas Mavericks’ experiences.

Infamously, 20-something prima donnas Jason Kidd and Jim Jackson were rumored to have feuded over many things in the mid-1990s, including singer Toni Braxton. (As the Mavs beat writer for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram during that period I never got wind of any such romancing. And to this day, Kidd swears he's never even met her.) And when the Mavs traded for Lamar Odom in 2011, he brought him reality TV star Khloe Kardashian (and sister, Kim) with him to a couple of games at American Airlines Center. Consider it a cameo, however, because the underwhelming Odom was first sent to the then-D League in Frisco before being released after only five months in Dallas.

Tom Brady and model Giselle Bundchen worked, for a while. Same for John McEnroe and actress Tatum O’Neal, and Aaron Rodgers and NASCAR driver Danica Patrick. Obviously, I’ve never covered romance for a living. But I believe that spotlight couples still in play include Russell Wilson and singer Ciara, David Beckham and Posh Spice, and Dustin Johnson and Paulina Gretzky.

Leave it to Mavs owner Mark Cuban to tip-off training camp by jumping into the fray. In a Thursday appearance on ESPN’s First Take, cupid Cuban attempted to play match-unmaker by telling Swift to dump Kelce and come date one of the several “good-looking, single” men on the Mavs’ roster.

The joke backfired, however, when Kelce tweeted at Cuban:

“Just sign me to a ten day (contract)!”

*Say what you want about Ezekiel Elliott losing a step (or two), he scored 12 Red Zone touchdowns last season and without him this season the Cowboys are near the bottom of the NFL punching it in from inside opponents’ 20. You do the math. Check that, I did it for you.

*At his first Mavs press conference of the season, Kyrie Irving said he and Luka Doncic will flourish given an entire season to play together. “We’re both killers on the court,” he said. “Everybody knows it.” Maybe, but job No. 1 for Kidd during training camp is figuring out who – come crunch time – is the facilitator and who is the finisher.

*Clinching, meet clenching. Stop me if you've heard this one before ... the Texas Rangers were thiiiiiiiissssss close! The same team that came within two strikes of winning the World Series in 2011 entered Thursday night's bottom of the 9th in Seattle with a 2-1 lead and needing just three outs to clinch its first playoff berth since 2016. Closer Aroldis Chapman, however, set the table for a dramatic Mariners' walk-off win and more Rangers' bullpen frustration. Chapman gave up two singles, a wild pitch and a walk before exiting with the bases loaded and no outs. Jonathan Hernandez came in and quickly got two outs, but surrendered a walk-off double onto the warning track in deep left field on a 1-1 pitch for a 3-2 loss. The stakes were obviously higher 12 years ago, but the similar heartbreak - one strike then; two strikes now - is impossible to ignore. Said Rangers' manager Bruce Bochy: "That's a tough one. We gotta bounce back." With three games remaining in Seattle, Texas still needs one win to make the playoffs and two to win the AL West.

*At the risk of being wrong about the Rangers yet again, no way Max Scherzer comes back to pitch in the postseason. On Sept. 13 the team announced Scherzer suffered a shoulder injury that would end his regular season and “likely” the playoffs. But this week in Anaheim the ace was already throwing and thinking he might have another start or two in him if the Rangers play into October. Said manager Bruce Bochy, “I don’t think you rule that out. Max isn’t.” Without him, the Rangers go into the playoffs with Nathan Eovaldi or the streaking Dane Dunning as their most trusted arm. The 39-year-old Scherzer – who is signed to play with Texas in 2024 – already has three Cy Young Awards and a World Series ring on his Hall-of-Fame resume. Sorry, I just can’t see him risking a further, career-ending injury to start a playoff game for a team he’s been with only two months. But boy have I been wrong about this team before. I was at Globe Life Field Sept. 8 when – on the heels of that devastating, demoralizing sweep at the hands of the Houston Astros – they lost to the deadbeat Oakland A’s. They fell to only 12 games over .500 and into third place in the AL West with their seventh loss in eight games. “They’re dead,” I pronounced. “Bury them.” Since then, they are 13-6 and are on the brink of winning the West.

*The 137th State Fair of Texas begins its 24-day run Friday in Fair Park. This year there is bourbon banana caramel sopapillas, Texas-OU on Oct. 7 and, of course, 71-year-old Big Tex. The whole shebang is run these days by a guy who is the son of the Cowboys’ original radio voice, who stuck around to play football through SMU’s Death Penalty, and who toiled for a decade selling season tickets for the Mavs during their leanest years. Oh yeah, and Mitchell Glieber also has a keen eye when it comes to Fair fannies.

*When Zeke returns to AT&T Stadium as a member of the New England Patriots Sunday, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones promises a “surprise” welcome. Wouldn’t it be on-brand if Jerry announced Elliott, too, was going into the Ring of Honor before Jimmy Johnson?

Sorry to spoil your juicy rumor, but Jason Kidd never feuded with Jim Jackson over Toni Braxton

*Hot.

*Not.

*Intriguing matchup: Cowboys’ Top 10 receiver CeeDee Lamb vs. the NFL’s newly christened Defensive Rookie of the Month, Patriots’ cornerback Christian Gonzalez.

*That insanely bright light in the Eastern sky before dawn these days is … a mere 40 million miles away.

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*Mavs tip-off their season in less than four weeks against No. 1 overall draft pick Victor Wembanyama and the San Antonio Spurs. Last two season openers I was genuinely this excited about: The title defense debut in 2012, and Luka’s premiere in 2018. Not summoning doom and/or gloom, but both were ugly losses.

*Not to bring the room down, but this week death reared its ugly head in my life. My first baseball glove was a Rawlings hand-me-down from Dad with a woven webbing and Brooks Robinson’s signature in the pocket. His passing tugged at my heartstrings, until Wednesday when I got a call out of the blue that a 30-year friend has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has only “weeks” to live. By coincidence – or maybe my subconscious had its antenna up? – I noticed a media acquaintance had started reading a book: 5 Regrets of Dying. Spoiler alert: A career caregiver in Australia interviewed her hospice patients and took notes. The terminally ill’s five regrets: 5. I wish I had let myself be happier; 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends; 3. I wish I would’ve expressed my feelings; 2. I wish I wouldn’t have worked so much; 1. I wish I would’ve lived a life true to myself, instead of the life others expected of me. Amen.

*Rangers’ home attendance this season: 2,533,044, an increase of 521,683 from 2022. Well-deserved.

*At the aforementioned Rangers game three weeks ago, I watched the debut of a rookie replacement for injured Adolis Garcia and - to be honest - didn't think twice about him. Evan Carter had just turned 21 and came to the Majors as a talented outfielder who blew through the Minors. He got his first Major League that night. Cute story and all. But ... who knew? With five homers and three outfield assists, he's been one of the main reasons for the Rangers' resurgence.

*Former running backs (such as Zeke this week) returning to the play the Cowboys are 1-9. Only one to run for as much as 50 yards: Duane Thomas in the 1970s. Emmitt Smith was humiliated, with six carries for minus-1 yard as a Cardinal in 2003.

*A year ago at this time we were being forced to endure every sporting event interrupted by breathless, break-in coverage of Aaron Judge’s home-run chase. Remember? So, where’s the live blanketing of Ronald Acuna Jr.?! While Judge’s 62nd homer may have been an AL record, it was only the seventh-highest total in Major League history. Meanwhile, Acuna’s achievement – 40 homers, 70 stolen bases – has never been accomplished. Never. And it’s far more athletic and impressive. I’ll never understand our fascination with simple home runs. For what it’s worth, Judge stole only 16 bases last season.

*Dak dissed? In his preview of the Cowboys this week, legendary Pats’ coach Bill Belichick mentioned 21 players, coaches and front-office personnel … but not Prescott. That makes him the only person in America not overanalyzing Dak’s loss-sealing interception in Arizona.

*Uh-oh. The Cowboys get referee Scott Novak’s crew Sunday. The last two times his herd of zebras has called a Dallas game it was flagged 10 and 13 times.

*America’s (Other) Team: Might want to “borrow” the Frisco-based U.S. Ryder Cup team this weekend. Golf might be DFW’s only way to break our 12-year championship drought.

*Cowboys 16, Patriots 10. Dallas got its wake-up call last week in the desert, but New England’s defense is the most underrated in the NFL.

*This Weekend? Friday let’s get up at 12:30 a.m. to watch Day 1 of the Ryder Cup. Saturday let’s hang out with Big Brothers Big Sisters lil’ bro Ja at an exotic car club. Sunday let’s visit the parents and watch some Cowboys-Patriots. As always, don’t be a stranger.

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